Do you find your temper on a short fuse when confronting your teenage child? Do you get mad when somebody cuts you off while driving? Don’t these make you clench your jaws, have a rapid heart rate, sweat or tremble?

We all have experienced these physical reactions to anger. In fact, anger is a normal healthy emotion. But when out of control, it can turn destructive and lead to many problems. This article will help us learn how to keep our anger under control and to act more appropriately to lessen the impact it has on our daily life.

What Is Anger?

As defined in Cambridge dictionary anger is “a strong feeling that makes you want to hurt someone or be unpleasant because of something unfair or unkind that has happened” [1].   It is typical of a human’s behavior to get angry when he/ she is deceived, irritated, attacked or mistreated. If used correctly, anger can be profitable in helping us distinguish between right and wrong.

It can also motivate us to make a change and speak up for ourselves. In some cases, however, it becomes really difficult to manage our anger. This will most probably affect our relationships and lead us to say or do things that we later regret.

That is why the religion of Islam attaches so much importance to controlling this natural human behavior. Imam Sadiq (AS) says in a narration that the one who has no control over his/her anger has no control over his reason [2].

Why Is It Important to Control Our Anger?

Sometimes you get so angry that you cannot think straight and are unable to make sound decisions. That’s when anger could be a breeding ground for many evils. As Imam Sadiq (AS) puts: “(uncontrolled) anger is the key (that opens the door) to all kinds of vices” [3]

Based on vast scientific studies, anger can determine various mental or physical diseases and many other deadly risks. This includes the increase in the number of road accidents, violent crimes, etc.:

“Chronic anger and anxiety can disrupt cardiac function by changing the heart’s electrical stability, hastening atherosclerosis, and increasing systemic inflammation” [4] “Research also shows that even one five-minute episode of anger is so stressful that it can impair your immune system for more than six hours” [5]. Studies have linked anger to mental health problems like depression, loneliness, anxiety, eating and sleep disorders, phobias, and obsessive-compulsive behavior as well. [6]

Since this emotional behavior is hard to control and sometimes makes us commit irrational deeds, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) introduces the most courageous person as the one who does not let these negative feelings take over and can overcome his/her anger [7]. Such a person is virtuous in the eyes of Allah:

“those who spend in ease and adversity, and suppress their anger, and excuse [the faults of] the people, and Allah loves the virtuous” (3:134)

Some Tips for Anger Management in Islam

Fortunately, Islam recommends some ways to control and overcome anger in our life:

Calm Your Anger down in the Earliest Phase

When you find something annoying, you can either choose to vent your frustrations or cool down and take a minute to think twice about the negative consequences that inevitably follow the expression of anger. Why don’t you find some way to put yourself in other people’s shoes? Don’t you want to give yourself a chance to turn that anger to love?

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) says: “the best people are those who do not get angry easily and get satisfied (calm down) quickly.”

Get Engaged in Spiritual Acts of Worship

Saying the prayer or any other act of worship can help you tame your anger. Pray for yourself and the person or the situation that has made you angry. Remember Allah and ask Him to soften your heart and help you in forgiving others.

The Holy Prophet (PBUH&HP) has said: “Anger comes from Satan, and Satan was created from fire. Fire is put out by water; so when you become angry, perform ablution (Wudu) with water” [8].

Change Your Bodily Posture

Nowadays scientists have proven how changing your posture can affect your mood, your energy level as well as the ability to generate positive and negative thoughts. “According to one study from Texans A&M University, lying down can reduce feelings of anger and hostility” [9].

It has also been reported from Imam Baqir (AS) that: “Verily, anger is a spark ignited by the Devil in the human heart. Indeed, when anyone of you gets angry, his eyes become red, the veins of his neck become swollen, and Satan enters them. Therefore, whosoever among you is concerned about himself on account of it; he should lie down for a while so that the filth of Satan may be removed from him at the time” [10].

Try to Be Patient, even under a Pretense

A Chinese proverb says If you are patient in the moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. So, it is not wise to be swift in seeking revenge. It has also been narrated from Imam Ali (AS) that the best revenge at the time of anger is to show forbearance [11]. When you are fuming over something, before any reaction, ask yourself if you want to live a life filled with vengeful and angry thoughts or a peaceful and decent life in which you try to forgive patiently. Which one would you choose?

What Are the Benefits of Anger Management in Islam?

Keeping Your Flaws Hidden

Imam Ali (AS) says: “Anger is a very bad companion, it reveals your flaws, brings the evil near and distances the good” [12].

Improving Your Recognition Skills

It is narrated from Imam Ali (AS) that the most powerful people in recognition of the right are the ones who do not get angry [13].

The Development of Wisdom

Imam Ali (AS) introduces anger management as a way of developing wisdom [14]. Since a wise person would never do anything regrettable at the time of anger.

Showing Your Real Friends and Keeping Them Close

Imam Sadiq (AS) has said: “If someone got angry with you three times but did not insult you, then choose him/her as a friend” [15]. In another narration, Imam Ali (AS) says making your friend angry will lead to separation from her/him [16].

Preventing You from Saying or Doing Things that You Might Regret Later

Imam Ali (AS) has advised us to keep silent at the time of anger: “Protect yourself from anger for its beginning is insanity and its end is remorse” [17].

Anger management will also make you close to the holy infallible Imams and follow in their footsteps. Then you will become a dignified person who deserves to be saved from Allah’s wrath both in this world and the hereafter.

Can Anger ever Be Helpful?

“Muhammad, the Apostle of Allah, and those who are with him are hard against the faithless and merciful amongst themselves” (48:29)

As stated above anger can be constructive too. When managed well, anger has no or very few detrimental consequences. Instead, it is a warning sign of corruption or an evil action; that something around you is not right. It then motives you to take action to correct the wrong. In such cases, Muslims are recommended to express anger for the right, to defend the good, and only to gain Allah’s satisfaction.

Yet, how you end up handling the anger is of great importance, too. As Muslims, we are not allowed to violate anyone’s right or act indecently at the time of anger. All our actions should be based on rational considerations and the Divine laws. Imam Sadiq (AS) says in this regard: “A believer is a person who when angered, his/her anger does not lead him away from that which is true” [18].

References:

1. anger
2. al-Kafi, v. 2, p. 305, no. 13
3. al‑Kafi, vol. 2, p. 303, hadith 3
4. happiness stress heart disease
5. emotional wellness
6. harmfull effects of holding anger
7. Nahj al-Fasaha, p. 549, hadith 1872
8. Nahj al-Fasaha, p. 286, hadith 660
9. movement can feel you better
10. Al-Kulayni, Usul al-Kafi, Vol. III.
11. Tasnif ghurar al-hikam wa-durar al-kalim, p. 285, hadith 6400
12. ibid, p. 302, hadith 6893
13. ibid, p246, hadith 5062
14. ibid, p. 242, hadith 4919
15. Ma’dan al-Jawahir, p. 34
16. Naj al-Balaqa (Sobhi Salih), p. 559, hadith 480
17. Al-Amidi, Gharar ul-Hikam wa darar ul-Kalim, hadith 2635
18. Al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 186, hadith 11
19. anger in islam

Lady Zainab (SA) is an icon of purity, bravery, and steadfastness.Though she lived 14 centuries ago, her personality and teachings continue to guide men and women till now/to this day. She is the fruit of the tree of Prophethood nourished by Imamat. Lady Zainab (SA), the daughter of Imam Ali (As), has several attributes and titles associated with her, such as Al-Aqilah the noblewoman, Al-Aalimah or the knowledgeable woman and Aminatu-al-Allah, the faithful of Allah (SWT).
She belonged to a holy lineage; her mother was Lady Fatimah al-Zahra (SA), - the daughter of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) - and was actually a reflection of her father in the worship of Allah, piety, self-discipline, virtues, clemency, veneration, and the other features of perfection thus her father named her the chief of the women of the worlds and such a great mother nurtured Lady Zainab. 

Lady Zainab’s life

Lady Zainab’s father, Imam Ali (AS) honoured as the representative, successor and heir to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) was given remarkable titles like ‘the chief of the prophets’ successors’, ‘leader of the pious ones’ and ‘the head of the worshippers’ by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) himself.  With innumerable merits and unrivalled sacrifices for Islam he was recognised and reputed as the most knowledgeable, the most magnanimous, the most generous, the most abstinent, the most trustworthy, the best worshipper, the most faithful, and above all, the most pious and the bravest of all Muslims. In other words, he was the best Muslim after the Holy Prophet Muhammad. (PBUH&HP).

Lady Zainab  (SA), hence, was  born into the most pious family and raised  under the care of the best human beings therefore she learnt many things that composed her perfect personality from the etiquettes of her parents and her brothers.  Since early life, she was marvellous in her intellect and wisdom and had learnt the Holy Quran by heart as well as the Prophet’s sayings regarding Islamic laws, rules of education and principles of ethics.

Throughout her life she faced one tribulation after another, but emerged strong and victorious in all her trials. She then witnessed the martyrdom of her mother, father and brothers - Imam Hasan and Imam Hussain (AS) - and in Karbala where all male members of her family were brutally martyred including her own sons Awn and Muhammad, and all the women folk were taken into captivity. But despite all these vicissitudes she always remained a source of strength and a caretaker for the survivors of the tragedy of Karbala and the flagbearer of the message of this great event. She is the epitome of selflessness and perseverance, the embodiment of patience and courage in the face of oppressors and the personification of knowledge and purity. Despite all the hardships she endured in Karbala she decided to preserve and propagate the true message of Karbala While her bravery, eloquence, courage, asceticism, chastity and caring nature towards the survivors of the tragedy of Karbala has been and still is unparalleled in history. 

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) says, “Whoever tries to fulfil the needs of a sick person, whether they fulfil it or not, they will be cleansed of their sins like the day they were born.”[1] In another tradition,   he has said, “Whoever looks after the sick for an entire day, Allah (SWT) will raise them up with Prophet Abraham.”[2] If we would take only these two traditions into consideration, we can understand the greatness of Lady Zainab (SA) who cared for Imam Sajjad (AS) and all the children and women who had got sick or were injured after what happened in Karbala. Therefore, taking inspiration from her, the 5th of Jamadi-Al-Awwal which is her birthday is celebrated as the Nurses’ Day in the Islamic calendar. 

References:

1.  Kitab Man La Yahzarul Faqih, V.4, Pg.16 
2.   Sawab ul Aamal, Pg. 341
3.    https://www.al-islam.org/lady-zaynab-badr-shahin/life-lady-zaynab 
4.  https://www.al-islam.org/victory-truth-life-zaynab-bint-ali-muna-haeri-bilgrami