Human beings by nature are social creatures, in need of companions and friends. Most of our lives depend on interactions with others, and man is therefore compelled to live in society and with other individuals. Friendship in Islam is considered one of the Divine blessings through which one overcomes loneliness and solitude.
Islam has placed tremendous importance on sociability and friendship. In the Quran [i], great emphasis has been placed on the concept of friendship because maintaining good company plays a pivotal role in shaping the life of the individual and it influences the path that will be chosen in life. Likewise, the Holy Prophet (PBUH&HP) and his Ahl al-Bayt (AS) on different occasions had clearly stated its importance, criteria for choosing a friend, characteristics of a good friend and the rights of a friend [1].
Friends are an integral and important part of our social life as they contribute greatly to the development of one’s personality and they affect many aspects of our lives. Islam, in complete harmony with man’s nature, deals extensively both in the Quran and the narrations (Hadiths) of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) with the issue of friendship in Islam.
In the Quran, Allah says:
“On that day, friends will be one another’s enemies, except for the Godwary.” (43:67)
The Holy Prophet (PBUH&HP) while explaining the impact of friends says:
“Man is influenced by the faith of his friends. Therefore, be careful of whom you befriend.”[2]
Similarly, the commander of the faithful; Imam Ali (AS) says:
“Try to have as many as possible true friends, for they are the supplies in joy and the shelters in misfortunes” [3]
Islam attaches great emphasis on the choice of a friend to be selected in life. For this purpose, it is expected that one should employ his/her judgment in a manner free from emotion and try to set aside the criterion for assessing his/her real worth. “One must know his/her inadequacies and weak points, his/her ideas, feelings, dislikes and infirmities. Ultimately, one must discover the human merits and desirable qualities that he/she carries in the depth of his/her spirit so that one may benefit from his/her outstanding virtues.”[4]
Therefore, for the great good or bad influences friends can have on the characters and personality of each other, it is important for every man of reason to choose friends that are characterized by good mannerism and behavior.
Meanwhile, in accordance with the sayings of the Prophet (PBUH&HP) and his Ahl al-Bayt (AS), a Muslim must avoid certain sets of people as friends: transgressor, hypocrites, foolish, liar, sinful, stingy, and disregardful to his/her relatives. Similarly, non-Muslims should not be taken as intimate friends or allies [5].
However, there is no hindrance for a boy having a girl as a friend or vice versa, so far as the Islamic regulations (such as the Islamic Hijab, avoidance of indiscriminate touching, etc.) are observed and they avoid any sinful act.
In Islam, the followings are some of the characteristics to be looked forward to in a friend:
Intelligence
Faith
Honesty
Uprightness and well mannerism
Following some narrations (Hadiths) [6], friendship entails certain trusts and duties. The one who observes them is a true friend while one who breach them is unworthy of friendship in Islam. Here are some of the rights of friends:
Respecting them and their personality [7]
Rendering material supports in the time of need [8]
Advising them when they need your advice [9]
Forgiving their shortcomings [10]
Concealing their lapses and faults from others [11]
Visiting them when they are sick [12]
Participating in their funeral when they die[13]
Concisely, friends are integral parts of our social life, and it is important to be selective in the choice of companions and friends. The righteous ones who lead one to righteousness in this world and prosperity in the Hereafter should be considered as friends.
In contrast, hypocrites and ill-mannered individuals who are sources of plights in this world and in the Hereafter should not be taken as friends. Similarly, Islam teaches the Muslims to observe certain matters in friendly relations. This is because immoderation in this regard may lead to deplorable consequences and bring regret and pain.
Notes:
[i] (9: 71), (25: 27-29), etc.
References:
- Al-Amidi, Ghurar al-Hikam, P. 177; Mustadrak Wasa’il, Vol. 5, chapter 42
- Allamah Majlisi, Bihar al-Anwar, Vol. 74, P. 192.
- Mahdi as-Sadr, The Ahlul-Bayt; Ethical role models, P. 290.
- Mujtaba Musavi Lari, Ethics and Spiritual growth, P. 211.
- (3: 28); (4: 144); (5: 51); (9: 23) etc.
- Imam Ali Zayn al-Abideen, Treatise on Rights, Right 33 (The right of the companion)
- Ibid
- Kulayni, Al-Kafi, Vol. 2, P. 198, Hadith No: 8.
- Al-Amidi, Ghurar al-Hikam, P. 775
- Ibid
- Ibid, P. 707
- Allamah Majlisi, Bihar al-Anwar, Vol. 16, P. 233, Hadith 35
- Kulayni, Al-Kafi, Vol. 3, P. 173.
Globally, the word “jihad” may be one of the scariest words associated with Islam in people’s view. Terrorism and Islam are almost intertwined when people talk about this religion. When you talk about Islam, many people may think of ISIS, Al-Qaida, Taliban, and the like which have portrayed an internationally terrifying picture of Muslims. On the other hand, most Muslims believe that the real Islam and the original meaning of “jihad” have been defamed by these terrorist groups.
The word “jihad” denotes an attempt and trying. In Islam, this word means doing as Allah commands in a special way that mostly requires hard work and sacrifice for his sake. It would be quite wrong merely assume fighting and killing enemies as the meaning of “jihad.” As a matter of fact, this word has a lot of meanings and “fighting” is only one of them.
According to the Holy Quran, jihad can be waged even without fighting enemies, but by spending your wealth on the needy.
The faithful are only those who have attained faith in Allah and His Apostle and then have never doubted, and who wage jihad with their possessions and their lives in the way of Allah. It is they who are truthful. (49:15)
The Holy Quran says that the Meccan early Muslims who left all they had in Mecca and moved to Yathrib (today called Medina) had done “jihad,”
Indeed, those who are faithful and those who have migrated and waged jihad in the way of Allah—it is they who expect Allah’s mercy, and Allah is all-forgiving, all-merciful. (2:218)
Sometimes the word jihad means fighting not with the enemies but with yourself. In Islamic insight, controlling your evil and harmful desires is actually considered to be an example of jihad. Surprisingly, this kind of jihad is actually more important and nobler than the other types. In this regard, Imam Sadiq (AS) says,
Once, the Holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) sent a group of soldiers to the battlefield, and when they came back, the Prophet (PUBH & HP) told them, ‘welcome to the people who accomplished their little jihad and still have to do the greater jihad.’
People asked, ‘Oh, Messenger of Allah! What is the greater jihad?’
He replied, ‘fighting with yourselves.’ (1)
In Islam’s view, fighting is originally only for defending ourselves against invaders not for attacking innocent people.
The first fight of the Prophet (PUBH & HP) named “Badr”, was with the Quraysh (the people of Mecca who were mostly the Prophet’s relatives). After Muslims moved to Medina from Mecca, the polytheists seized all of their belongings and were planning to sell them. A large number of soldiers escorted the caravan that was moving the belongings of Muslims from Mecca. Muslims decided to fight with them and take their belongings back.
There was a polytheist named Utbah ibn Rabi’ah who wasn’t sure whether to fight with the Prophet. He talked to his army, riding a red camel, Oh, my people! Hear me out and do not fight this man and his followers. [if you worry about being called chicken hearts for not fighting] consider this shame on me and tell others that I was scared. You have so many close relatives among them and if you fight, so many of them will be killed and you, afterward, will have to live with the ones who have killed your fathers and brothers and it will leave animosity and a grudge among you. Note that if you kill them, they will kill as many of us as we have killed them. Furthermore, it is possible that you lose… Oh, my people! If Muhammad is a liar, the wolves of the desert will remove him and if he is a king, you will have a good life in his territory and if he is a real prophet, he will make you the happiest people in the world. (2)
The Prophet was so hopeful that they will listen to Utbah and that he won’t be forced to fight with his relatives. About Utbah the Prophet said, If there was only one good person among them, it would be this person on the red camel and they will do their best if they listen to him. (3)
Then, the Prophet wrote a letter to the Quraysh and encouraged them to go back to Mecca (4) but they didn’t accept and fought against the Prophet. The Muslims won this battle.
The Arabs before the Prophet (PBUH & HP), were always fighting with each other. But, the message of Islam made them all like brothers. The Holy Quran says,
Hold fast, all together, to Allah’s cord, and do not be divided [into sects]. Remember Allah’s blessing upon you when you were enemies, then He brought your hearts together, so you became brothers with His blessing. (3:103)
If you carefully read the verses of the Quran about fighting and jihad, you would understand that in the Islamic view, Muslims only fight for defending or against the ones who betray Muslims; for example, those who put the Muslim lives in jeopardy by helping their enemies.
In this regard, the Holy Quran says,
Fight in the way of Allah those who fight you, but do not transgress. Indeed, Allah does not like transgressors. (2:190)
About some polytheists who betrayed the Prophet (PBUH & HP) by violating the items of a treaty between the Prophet (PBUH & HP) and them, the Holy Quran says,
How can such polytheists have a treaty with Allah and His Messenger, except those you have made a treaty with at the Sacred Mosque? So, as long as they are true to you, be true to them. Indeed, Allah loves those who are mindful ˹of Him˺. How? For if they get the better of you, they will observe toward you neither kinship nor covenant. They please you with their mouths while their hearts spurn you, and most of them are transgressors. (9:7&8)
Therefore, the holy Quran ordered the Prophet (PBUH & HP) to forget about the treaty and fight with those polytheists because they betrayed the Muslims.
Muslims are eager to have peace with others but yet they can’t stand to be oppressed, invaded, bullied, etc. Fight them until persecution is no more, and religion becomes [exclusively] for Allah. Then if they desist, there shall be no reprisal except against the wrongdoers. (2:193)
Muslims believe that instead of fighting, people must be united in worshipping Allah which is the common belief of Muslims, Jews, and Christians. So, Muslims do not want to fight with the Jews or Christians except if they invade first. The Holy Quran says,
Say, ‘O People of the Book (Christians and Jews)! Come to a common word between us and you: that we will worship no one but Allah, that we will not ascribe any partner to Him, and that some of us will not take some others as lords besides Allah.’ But if they turn away, say, ‘Be witnesses that we have submitted [to Allah].’ (3:64)
The Holy Quran says that we should always be fair, even with our enemies,
O believers! Stand firm for Allah and bear true testimony. Do not let the hatred of a people lead you to injustice. Be just! That is closer to righteousness. And be mindful of Allah. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what you do. (5:8)
And, If any of those idolaters seek your protection, protect him so that he will be able to hear the words of God. Take him to a place where he is safe because they are people who do not know the truth. (9:6)
About the wars of the Prophet (PBUH & HP), Imam Sadiq (AS) said,
The Prophet (PBUH & HP) told his soldiers, “…do not over-kill and do not cheat them and do not cut their bodies into parts and do not kill the elders, kids, or women and do not cut the trees except if you had no choice. And if any of the Muslims saw one of the polytheists, that polytheist shouldn’t be harmed until he hears the words of Allah. If he obeyed you then he is your brother and if he didn’t, then take him to a safe place [and let him go]. (5)
Resources
- Al-Kafi, Shiekh Koleini, vol.5, pg.12
- Maghazi, al-Vaghedi, vol.1, pg.63
- Maghazi, al-Vaghedi, vol.1, pg.60
- Maghazi, al-Vaghedi, vol.1, pg.61
- Vasa’il ash-Shia, Sheikh Hurr al-Ameli, vol.15, pg.58
Perhaps one of the most important questions for each of us about life is what a good and flourishing life is and most generally if it is worth living.
Many people, including great philosophers and scholars of ethics and mysticism throughout history, have tried to find an answer to this question regarding life worth. Albert Camus, one of the famous authors and philosophers of the 20th century, tried hard to fulfill his lifelong quest to shed light on the meaning of our lives, such that he believed: “Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. All the rest […] comes afterward. Those are games; one must first answer this” [2].
Now let’s see how different people have answered this important question about life worth. We can divide these viewpoints into three categories:
1. They believe life costs a lot and has very few benefits for us. As Woody Allan, the pessimist American director, puts: “Most of life is tragic. You're born, you don't know why. You're here, you don't know why. You go, you die. Your family dies. Your friends die. People suffer. People live in constant terror. The world is full of poverty and corruption and war and Nazis and tsunamis. The net result, the final count is, you lose - you don't beat the house” [3]. Or as Samuel Butler says: “life is one long process of getting tired” [4]. So some of these people think why not we commit suicide to get rid of this miserable life?!
2. These people believe life is so valuable no matter how it seems and we have to live it at any price. Lots of people choose to think this way. Henry James has said: “Be not afraid of life believe that life is worth living and your belief will create the fact” [5]. Or there is another quote from Ellen DeGeneres that says: “My life is perfect even when it's not” [6]. Also, one of the most popular contemporary writers, Paulo Coelho seems to have a kind of optimistic view about life when he says: “Never give up. When your heart becomes tired, just walk with your legs – but move on” [7]
Some other people seem to have found the golden mean between the two previous extremes:
3. So, sometimes it is worth living and sometimes not. This is what Islam and Islamic leaders teach their followers about life worth. There are examples in the lives of the infallible Imams in which they indicate that we are not created only to live this worldly life and that this life is merely a path for us to reach a higher status. As the Holy Quran says: “while the Hereafter is better and more lasting” (87:17). So, we should always think if this earthly life will be to our benefit in the hereafter or not. If yes, then it is worth living; if not fight for those benefits even if you die.
One of the most significant role models for us in this regard is Imam Hussain (AS), the third infallible Imam, whose act of sacrifice has left a profound impact on humankind throughout history. Imam Hussain (AS) believed accepting humiliation and obedience to mean people is like living in hell. So, when all he did to guide his enemies to the right path failed, he said: “To me, death is nothing but happiness, and living under tyrants nothing but living in a hell” [8].
At this state, death to him is more desirable than living under the oppression of the tyrants and surrendering to their wishes. Therefore, when he was placed in a dilemma by the oppressors to be humiliated by swearing allegiance to the tyrant of the time, Yazid, or to fight and probably die, he decided to fight even if he died. He sacrificed all he had in this way and departed this earthly life with glory.
Now, after about 1400 years, every year in Muharram, lots of ceremonies are held around the world to commemorate the anniversary of his martyrdom. Lots of people from different religions get influenced by him and his ideology and sometimes it makes them embrace Islam.
Which point of view do you agree about life worth? Will you ever give up your benefits for the good of others to make them have a flourishing and more valuable life?
References:
- life worth living Albert
- sisyphus
- woody Allen
- samuel Butler
- Henry James
- my life is perfect even its not
- love life happiness
- Tohaf-al- Uqoul, P. 245