I am C.S. Mathos.  I was born into a secular family on August 1st, 1992, in Pennsylvania.  My mom was once a Christian, and as a kid she went to a Quaker church. […]To explain, I was surprisingly logical as a child, and reasoned that it was impossible that a god existed.  Really, I didn’t care about religion back then.  […]

I was obviously ridiculed when my love for paleontology did not subside.  […] When I did speak, I was most often honest, soft spoken, and didn’t have much to say, because I didn’t trust people, and I liked my imagination better than the real world.  Even when 9/11’s attacks came, I didn’t talk much, and didn’t react to it.  It didn’t scare me at all; I thought the word “Muslim” was the term for an ethnic group[…]When I did come out of my shell (5th grade), I fought with people about religion and politics.  I believed there were hypocrisies in Christianity, which was the only religion I remembered at that time.

When I became 13 years old, I really received insults, and took them seriously.  […] At that time I wasn’t interested in anything.  I decided I needed a religion.  I didn’t really search for one, just believed there was one God, and, because of my bitterness, I blamed my problems on Him.  […]

I just needed a religion.  I tried out Christianity, however I flat out left it.  Too many contradictions, sectarianism, and hypocrisy.

I looked around, and around, I looked at everything, from Christianity to Greek Mythology.  I decided to look at Islam last, since I took into account the prejudices of war and the possibility that I may actually be killed by someone due to following such a religion.  I gave up on everything else, and I said to myself: “The last thing you have to go to is Islam.  Just get a Quran and read it.  Hell, it may be what you’re looking for.”  I got the Quran off of a website and got it in the mail 5 days after it was ordered.  It was dark green; so dark green, I thought it was black.  It has a beautiful leather binding, gold imprints on it.  I started reading it, and I just saw that it was nothing as it was portrayed on TV.  I saw that there was only one God, and there was no one else to worship but He.  I saw this, and I wanted to join the religion.

[…] I decided that writing down how to pray was for later, conversion was needed for me.  I needed to submit to God.  NOW.  I found the Shahada, and I wrote it down.  Then, I took the Shahada, and became a Muslim.  As soon as I did, I felt the pain in my heart lifted, and I felt truly happy.  God has been good to me, and I try to pray 5 times every day to Him.  However, due to the circumstances of war prejudices, other people’s intolerance, and other people’s sectarianism, I have to practice my religion in secret.  I pray to God in the morning, noon, sundown, evening, and at 11:00 or 12:00 at night.  When I can drive, I’ll drive to the nearest mosque every Friday.  My own mother doesn’t even know I’m a Muslim.  I’ll tell her when I’m truly ready, or when I’m an adult and live elsewhere, or I’m in college.  I pray that God keeps me away from disbelief, and help me become the best Muslim I can be while practicing in secret.  If my mom is reading this, try to understand my religion before you pass judgment.  Let me practice my religion in peace, without your ridicules and jokes, which are hurtful.  I’ve been practicing Islam for a week, I think.  I lose track of time.

Non-Muslims that are reading this, I suggest you read the Quran and become a Muslim.  Peace be upon you, and God’s blessings.

By C.S. Mathos

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I still remember to this day my first encounter with a Muslim.  One of the boys brought his friend to the youth house.  […]  What I do remember is the boy saying “I brought my friend ‘so and so’, he’s a Muslim and I want to help him become a Christian”.  I was absolutely amazed by this 14 year old kid, he was calm and friendly! […] It blew my mind!

The Muslim kid left a copy of the Quran on the shelf, […] I started reading it.  I soon became infuriated with this book when I saw that it made more sense than the Bible.  […]The youth group used to go to various Churches on weekends to prayer events and Saturday nights were spent in a huge Church instead of at the bar.  I remember being at one such event called ‘The Well’ and I felt so close to God and wanted to humble myself and show my Creator my love for Him.  I did what felt natural, I prostrated.  I prostrated like Muslims do in the daily prayers, yet I didn’t know what I was doing, all I knew was, that it felt really good… it felt right. […] 

I felt myself slowly slipping away from the Church as my faith ebbed away.  It was at this time that my best friend, the Christian man who had helped me come to Christ, along with another close friend of mine, raped my girlfriend who I had been with for two years.  […]  A couple of weeks later, it was revealed that the man who ran the youth house had molested one of the boys that I was friends with.

My world was shattered!  […] I had nothing left to give, I was empty again. […]  A little while after, my manager at work told me that a “Moslem” would be working with us, he was really religious and we should try to be decent around him. […]

He didn’t swear, he never got angry and was always calm, kind and respectful.  I was truly impressed and decided that he would make an excellent Christian.  We went back and forth asking things about each other’s religions, but after a time I felt myself getting more and more defensive.  […] I felt it was he who was on the truth!  […] I was convinced that if I could only pray there again, I could get the feeling back and the strong faith and then I could convert the Muslim.  […]

I started to realize that I was being pushed in a certain direction, so I prayed over and over to my Creator to surrender my will to His[…] I sat up in bed and cried, ‘Jesus, God, Buddha, whoever You are, please, please guide me, I need You! […] If Christianity is the correct way then make me strong, and if it is Islam, then bring me to it!’  […] I went to work the next day and said to the Muslim brother “how do I say ‘hi’ to you?”  He asked me what I meant and I said, “I wanted to become a Muslim”.  He looked at me and said “Allahu Akbar!”  We hugged for a good minute or so and I thanked him for everything and I began my journey into Islam.

I look back at all the events that happened in my life over time, and I realize that I was being prepared to become a new Muslim.  I was shown so much mercy from God.  Out of all that happened in my life, there was something to learn.  I learned the beauty of the Islamic prohibition of intoxicants, the prohibition of illegal sex, and the need for the Hijab.  […]

For those of us who have accepted Islam at some point in our lives, we truly are blessed and fortunate.  […]Islam truly is a way of life, and even if we suffer poor treatment by fellow Muslims or non-Muslims, we must always remember to be patient and turn only to God. […]

May God increase our faith and make it in accords to that which pleases Him and grant us His Paradise, Amen!

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