My name is Darrick Abdul-hakim.  I am a 20-year-old Muslim brother living in the United States.  […]

I grew up as a Christian who had a good deal of information.  I was very excited to express my Christian belief to my friends, co-workers and colleagues.  However, at the age of 17, life became a bit more complicated than before.  I began to observe my fellow Christians in more depth.  I was shocked how most didn’t practice the Christian faith to 100% expectation. 

To make matters worse, I became increasingly dissatisfied with the Biblical scriptures.  For example, the belief that Jesus claimed to be God was a church addition.  Jesus certainly never asserted that he was the God of the world. 

[…] I wondered what would happen if I were to become more religious, but that never happened and instead I left the Christian life and bid it farewell.  Not only that, but also my faith and belief in God, slipped quietly out the door.  I was now an agnostic, not knowing what faith to follow, or knowing if we are surrounded by God or not, I was just lost in a chaotic world.  I wasn’t an atheist, I was just confused about who, or what God really was. 

[…]  I began to have thoughts about the Universe whether we are really humans at all.  I began to ask why I should remain moral (I refused to drink because I felt it was a sin, interesting for someone who didn’t have a faith or believed in a God!). I began to question my own existence.  I began to contemplate whether I should be here or not and on account of this, I had seriously considered suicide.  I wanted to quit my job because I was coming under stress, by this time I was 18 years old.

Alhamdulilah, I had the comfort of friends to keep me from committing such a catastrophe.  But, I was still without a faith, life couldn’t get much better from my end, and I still didn’t know how to cope with my grandmother’s death. 

Eventually, I began to read for myself.  I ran across a book, which was discussing the world’s faiths, and I came across Islam.  I simply never had given Islam any thought at all.  On the following day, when I was on my way to work I saw a man with a copy of the Quran in his hand so I asked him if I could see it, Alhamduliah (all praise is due to Allah) he not only let me see it, he gave it to me! I was stunned, excited, and compelled.  I went to read it and was amazed by its literature; the things I didn’t notice before struck me.  It was comprehensible, and lucid for a layperson like myself. 

On September 11th, I saw the world trade centers go crashing down.  I wondered to myself, could the teachings of Islam have provoked such an act? Could Islam be this bad?

But, the more I read, the more I found out that Islam was a faith that denounced all forms of extremism.  Islam by all means is peace.  We certainly wouldn’t judge Christianity by the barbaric abortion clinic bombings, or we wouldn’t describe Judaism as an ethnic faith that just wants a Jewish world from the Israeli who assassinated the Israeli prime minister in 1995 because he felt the Prime minister was an apostate of God. Why must we do the same to Islam? 9/11 compelled me to learn more about Islam.  I bought and read a total of 10 biographies on Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him.  I was amazed by his life.  I didn’t look at Muhammad from a Christian perspective, but from a Historical, Political and cultural perspective.  After my readings into Islam, I decided to convert.  I was on a quest for the faith, and I found it.  Alhamdulilah.

Now, after my conversion, I have read a large number of books on Islam.  I still am currently reading the Biographies of Prophet Muhammad.  I can truly say that life now is much better!

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I feel honored to be a Muslim... And I feel that way for many reasons.  There are many norms in the society I live that are opposite to what it is to be a Muslim.   And when I first came to this way of life, I didn’t know how well I would fair with it.  […]

Having spent a large portion of my short life not being a Muslim, I know the darkness that God speaks of in the Quran.  I remember what it was like when Allah opened my eyes and shined a light where the darkness had once been.  At the beginning of my life, I had no definite form of absolute guidance.

The simplest aspects of creation would boggle my mind. I was totally oblivious to the miracles God put in nature.  One time, in particular, I recall learning about evaporation in science class.  I was unable to comprehend it.  Not the how, but the reason it happened.

I understood the idea of the water cycle and its importance for life, but what would make the water essentially disappear and float back up to the sky?

When viewing this question, without knowing God, my mind ran into a mental block at which point I could not come up with the answer.  Boggled by the thought, I merely shrugged my shoulders and threw it to the back of my mind.

When looking at the human body, and how it’s made largely of water, or looking at the universe and trying to comprehend what was beyond it.  I would be faced with the mental barricade of not being able to comprehend the reason for its creation.

Time and time again scientists could explain the how, but never the why.  They could explain purpose within the mechanics of creation, but they could never explain the purpose of the mechanics itself.  What caused the mechanics?  What caused nature to have laws?

Having been brought up in a non-practicing Christian family, I had a general understanding of the principles of Christianity.  […] My problem with Christianity was the dogma, and more specifically the beliefs about God.  The issue of a “Triune” God that is essentially three different individuals that all unite to take on the role of the “One” God.  I know that is not how the Doctrine of Trinity is officially promoted, and any Bible-thumping Christian would probably accuse me of not understanding the Doctrine, but that’s the reality that I saw in it

[…] Around that time, I unofficially rejected Christianity. I became a Christian / Atheist / Agnostic.  I began to live life trying to come to terms with my surroundings and myself.  Not knowing of a greater purpose, I saw no problem in taking part in destructive activities of any kind; on the condition, I would receive some sort of satisfaction from it.

[…] I began to turn to the common reality escape, namely drugs and alcohol.  At first, using them as a social tool, and eventually using them habitually as a sedative.  If people ever told me I should calm down, I would tell them I could stop if I had a reason, but I had no reason. […] But eventually, I started to feel a consciousness within me looking for some sort of console.  Although I was lost and in the dark, since I never saw the light, I didn’t know the difference between the two.  I began to think of “the bigger picture.”

I began to think about death.  I tried to comprehend the concept of nothingness, and as many times before in my life, when trying to contemplate the purpose, my mind drew blanks.  Until one night, while I lay on my bed, deep in thought, I turned my face to the sky, and I said: “God, if you’re real, and You exist, please help me!”

I went to sleep that night never really thinking twice about it.  Then on 9/11, I watched the uncanny events unfold.  I was confused about the whole situation, why it happened, what exactly happened, and how they knew who did it almost immediately.  For the first time there was meaning being applied to foreign terms that I had heard, but never knew anything about, namely Islam.

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