Silatur-Rahim or preserving family ties is not limited to visiting relatives, but also includes trying to satisfy their needs and strengthening emotional bonds with them. This depends of course on the situation of each member of the family; one might require money while the other has emotional needs [1].
Some of the examples of Silatur-Rahim are: visiting relatives; greeting and honoring them; inviting them even to a cup of coffee or tea; giving them good advice in case of a problem; not harming them by talking behind their back, insulting or accusing them, or by interfering in their personal affairs; being kind and caring about them; visiting them when they are sick; giving them gifts in different occasions; fulfilling their needs before others do, and participating in their funerals [1]. Imam Sadiq has(AS) said: “… The best family tie is the one in which the relatives are not harmed” [2].
Upholding kinship with relatives has various advantages in this world and the hereafter:
Having the social and emotional support of family: In Surah Hud, where people threaten Prophet Shu’ayb (PBUH), they tell him if his tribe had not supported him, they would have stoned him (11:91).
Imam Ali (AS) said: “Upholding family ties brings affection and humiliates enemies” [3].
Having an immediate reward: Imam Baqir (AS) said: “The reward of Silatur Rahim is given more quickly than any good deed” [4].
Increase in wealth: Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) said: “Whoever keeps family kinship, God will love him and increase his wealth” [5].
Having some of the sins vanished: Imam Ali (AS) said: “Eliminate your sins by a voluntary charity and keeping family ties” [6].
Having an easy death and a long life: When Prophet Moses (PBUH) asked God about the reward of upholding family ties, the answer was: “(Whoever does so,) I will postpone his death, I will make his death easy, and the heaven angles will call him to enter heaven from every door he wishes” [7].
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “Whoever keeps family kinship …God will make his life longer and let him enter heaven” [6]. Imam Baqir (AS) said: “Keeping family ties purifies one’s deeds, increases his wealth, keeps him safe from disasters, makes the accounting of his deeds easy and postpones his death” [8]. Imam Sadiq (AS) said; “Silatur Rahim makes lives longer …, even if doers are not righteous” [9].
One cannot sever family kinship deliberately since upholding family bonds is a duty ordered by God, hence, the disobedience from this order is of the major sins (al-Kaba’ir) [10].
In Islam, the warnings against severing and breaking off family bonds are as many as the exhortations to uphold family ties. That is due to the disastrous consequences that neglecting and severing family ties can have on one’s life; these include:
Having a shorter life than it would be: Imam Sadiq (AS) said: “a man might have 33 years of his life left, but God will shorten it to 3 years if he breaks family ties” [11]. In another narration from Imam (AS), negligence of family bonds is known as “a sin that perishes a man quickly” [12].
quickly receiving a punishment, Imam Baqir (AS) said: “four sins cause quick punishments … (one is) breaking family ties” [13].
Being cursed by God [i] and deprived of his mercy: “But as for those who ... sever what Allah has commanded to be joined, … it is such on whom the curse will lie, and for them will be the ills of the [ultimate] abode” (13:25).
Being doomed to the hell: Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) has said: “the sweet smell of heaven will be sensed from a thousand year of distance but those who have been insolent to the parents and those who have broken family ties will be deprived of it” [14].
One’s prayers (Dua) will not be accepted anymore after severing family ties [15].
One’s good deeds will be rejected: Imam Rida (AS) said: “whoever sever family ties, he does not fear from God (does not have Taqwa), his good deeds are therefore refused and will face grave punishments in this world and the hereafter” [16].
Cutting family ties has several reasons, but lack of modesty and greed are known as the two main ones. Imam Sadiq (AS) said that: “Some would not have respected parents’ rights and kept family ties if modesty had not existed” [17].
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) has warned about greed: “Beware of greed, for it was greed that commanded those before you to bloodshed and severing their family ties” [18].
Notes:
[i] (2:27), (13:25), (47:22-23).
References:
- A. Javadi Amoli, “Mafatih al-hayat”, p. 217.
- Shaykh al-Kulayni, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 2, p. 151.
- Imam Ali (AS), “Ghurar al-Hikam wa Durar al-Kalim”, vol. 4, p. 209, T. 5825.
- Shaykh al-Kulayni, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 2, p. 152.
- Shaykh al-Saduq, “Uyun akhbar al-Rida(AS)”, vol. 2, p. 37.
- Imam Ali (AS), “Ghurar al-Hikam wa Durar al-Kalim”, vol. 4, p. 635, T. 7258.
- Fattal Neyshaburi, “Rawdat al-wa'izin wa basirat al-mutta'izin”, vol. 2, p. 370.
- Ibn Shu’bah, “Tuhaf al-Uqul”, p. 299.
- Shaykh Tusi, “Al-Amali”, p. 481.
- R. Khomeini, “Tahrir al-Wasilah”, vol. 1, p. 274.
- Shaykh al-Kulayni, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 2, p. 153.
- Shaykh al-Saduq, “Illal Al Sharaie”, p. 584.
- Ibn Babawayh, “Al-Khisal”, p. 230.
- Shaykh al-Kulayni, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 2, p. 349.
- H. T. Nuri Ṭabarsi, “Mustadrak al-Wasail”, vol. 15, p. 185.
- A. Javadi Amoli, “Mafatih al-hayat”, p. 215.
- “Tawḥid al-Mofazzal”, p. 79.
- Ibn Babawayh, “Al-Khisal”, p. 176.
Today, one of the Islamic regulations that is the cause of many prejudgments about Islam in western countries is the law of polygamy in Islam. This practice refers to a form of marriage that allows a man to have two, three, or four wives at the same time, but, on the contrary, never ever allows a woman to have more than one husband simultaneously.
In this article, you will read the philosophy behind this law from different perspectives and finally see Islam’s recommendation on that.
Polygamy was practiced long before Islam among different nations and was considered as an acceptable common deed in the history of some other faiths including Christianity and Judaism, although it is frowned upon and forbidden in their cultures now.
According to the Jewish encyclopedia: “While there is no evidence of a polyandrous state in primitive Jewish society, polygamy seems to have been a well-established institution, dating from the most ancient times and extending to comparatively modern days” [1].
In Christianity also, polygamy does not contradict their Scripture: “Nowhere in the New Testament is there any explicit commandment that marriage should be monogamous or any explicit commandment forbidding polygamy” [2].
Islam did not invent the system of polygamy, neither did it ban this tradition which was practiced unlimitedly by Arabs. Instead, it restricted it to four wives and gave it specific conditions and terms.
It is explicitly stated in the Holy Quran that:
“If you fear that you may not deal justly with the orphans, then marry [other] women that you like, two, three, or four. But if you fear that you may not treat them fairly, then [marry only] one, or [marry from among] your slave-women. That makes it likelier that you will not be unfair” (4:3).
This verse was revealed in regard to the Arabs in the period of ignorance, who were seldom free from wars and fighting, and among whom death by killing was a common occurrence. So, there was always a great number of orphans and widows among them.
Usually, the leaders of tribes and people of power and influence took the orphan girls (with their properties) as wives and behaved with them unjustly. They would often turn them out after swallowing their property; the helpless girls would become poor; neither they had any money to live on, nor was there anyone willing to marry and maintain them. The Quran, then, has reproached those Arabs very severely for this evil habit and prohibited very strongly doing any injustice to orphans or devouring their property. Allah says in the previous verse:
“Give the orphans their property, and do not replace the good with the bad, and do not eat up their property [by mingling it] with your own property, for that is indeed a great sin” (4:2) [i].
On the whole, Allah urges them to be careful regarding the orphans, so much so that if they are afraid that they would not be able to treat the orphan girls equitably and therefore do not like to take them, wives, then they had better not marry them; instead they should marry other women- two, three or four [3].
Both the Quran and Sunnah (the Prophet’s (PBUH&HP) and infallible Imams’(AS) tradition) clearly indicate the legitimacy of polygamy in Islam and most of Islamic Jurists and Scholars agree with that. It is noteworthy, however, that Quran’s recommendation to marry two, three, or four does not in any way imply an obligation; neither has it been seen as a necessity in any of the Islamic sects. Now we will shed light on the reasons why Islam did not absolutely abolish this tradition.
There are two different stances among Muslim scholars about polygamy in Islam; some have denied it as a general Islamic law by saying that it was suited to that specific time -i.e., the time and occasion in which the verse (4:3) was revealed- in history. The others, on the other hand, make any attempt to defend this law by reasoning it and saying its benefits; some of their arguments are:
Men’s sexual desire is stronger and lasts longer than women’s.
Women are not capable of fulfilling men’s sexual desire fully because of the restrictions they have, viz. menstruation, pregnancy, menopause, etc.
There are usually more marriageable women than men due to women’s longer lifespan and men’s more frequent fatal casualties because of the dangerous incidents that happen to them, etc.
Among these reasons, the third one -if we suppose that it existed in the past or continues to be common in the present day- is of great importance in justifying polygamy in Islam. Not only that, but it creates a right in favor of women and duty and responsibility for men and society.
Clearly speaking, if, in any case, the number of women fit to be married exceeds the number of marriageable men, then a group of women would be left without husbands and would remain deprived of the right to family life, so the law restricting marriage to monogamy will be inconsistent with this natural right. Accordingly, it is only by the provision of the law of polygamy (of course with special conditions) that this natural right is revived.
What’s more, Islam disagrees with the belief that man is a born polygamist and that his nature is at variance with monogamy. Islam, also, is against the idea that loyalty is impossible for men, and that one woman is created for one man, and one man for all women.
Polygamy, in the Islamic perspective, rises from a social difficulty and is not due to the innate nature of men. If there did not exist in society the problem of an excess of the number of women in need of marriage over the number of marriageable men, the custom of polygamy would have ceased to exist or would have rarely existed [4].
Now read the second part of this article to see the Islamic restrictions on the law of polygamy in Islam.
References:
- polygamy
- Eugene Hillman, Polygamy reconsidered, p. 140
- polygamy in Islam
- Morteza Motahari, women and her rights in Islam, p. 146-147
The women's rights in Islam include their right as wives in the marital relationship as well. In Islam, marriage is not confined to satisfying physical and emotional needs. There are many verses, stories, and narrations speaking about different aspects of marriage, including the mutual rights that the couple has over one another.
In this article, the rights of the wife over her husband have been summarized into the following two categories of financial and non-financial. It is noteworthy that this classification is embedded neither in the Quran nor the narrations and therefore, other classifications from other perspectives are also possible.
It is obligatory for a man to pay marriage portion (Sedaq) to his spouse as one of the most significant women's rights in Islam. The marriage portion is, by definition, a property which a husband gives his spouse upon marriage. This mandatory payment whether in the form of money or possession is upon husband until the time he fulfills it.
In due course, his wife has the right to either ask for or forgo it. In the case of forgoing, the husband is no longer required to fulfill this duty. Interestingly, in contrast with the idea which regards marriage portion as a price for a woman, a marriage without a fixed marriage portion is also correct [1].
But, how much should the marriage portion be? Islam has not specified the exact amount of the marriage portion. However, the amount of five hundred silver coins (Derham), which is equal to today’s $724.5 [i], fixed by the Prophet (PBUH&HP) for his wives and daughters is an encouraged model for Muslims. On account of this, it has been recommended that the marriage portion doesn’t exceed this fixed amount. Nevertheless, any amount of marriage portion that both parties agree upon is allowed by Islam [2].
Furthermore, a man is financially obligated to pay for the living expenses of his spouse (Nafaqah) including food, clothes, shelter, living necessities and the things that a wife usually needs in her life [3]. It makes no differences in this duty of the husband, whether his spouse earns money out of work or not, since she is not required to provide for the family [4].
As for the woman’s property, her husband also doesn’t have the right to take the outcome of her efforts into his possession [5]. Even if the wife asks wages for her works inside the house, the husband is supposed to pay, due to the Islamic laws [6]. God has underscored this supportive role of the men in the Quran as follows: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women… (4:34)”
However, the man is responsible for arranging the comfort of his spouse as long as she does not disobey his legal demands [7]. Moreover, it makes no sense whatsoever to take the duty of providing the sustenance of the family as the sign of superiority of the man over his spouse [8].
When the husband dies his spouse inherits from him as well. According to the Islamic rules of inheritance, the woman is entitled to one-fourth of her spouse’s property in the case that he leaves no child as heir. But, if her spouse has any children, she is just entitled to one-eighth of her spouse’s property [9]. However, this topic in different cases includes some details which have been elaborated in the judicial sources.
The second type of women's rights in Islam concerns the moral rights of the wife. Our infallible Imams (A.S) reportedly advised their followers to be kind and respectful toward their wives and treat them gently. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) says: “The best of you are the ones who treat their family the best, and I am the best of you towards my family.” [10]
He, also, on various occasions recommended his companions to help their wives in the household chores and outlined many rewards for them regarding this act [11]. When some people inquired from him about the rights of a wife over her husband, he answered: “He should overlook her minor faults, and if she commits a major mistake then he should forgive her.” [12]
Imam Sajjad (A.S) has beautifully described women's rights in Islam and men’s moral duties toward their wives by demonstrating the blessings which God grants them through marriage: “The right of your wife is that you know that God has made her a repose and comfort for you; you should know that she is God’s favor towards you, so you should honor her and treat her gently.”[12]
Notes:
[i] This amount has been calculated based on the price of silver on 11th of November 2016. It may need further modification in future.
References:
- Islamic View on Human Rights: Viewpoints of Iranian Scholar.
- wifes right
- Ali Ibn Hussein Zaynul Abidin, A commentary on Imam Sajjad’s “The Treaties of Rights,” translated by Ali Peiravi, Ansariyan Publication.
- Islamic View on Human Rights: Viewpoints of Iranian Scholar; this book is available at https://www.al-islam.org/.
- Makarem Shirazi, Naser, 180 Questions Enquiries about Islam, translated by Shahnawaz Mahdavi, vol. 1.
- Khorasani, Hussein Vahid, Islamic Laws, Create Space Independent Publishing, 2014, p. 393.
- Hussein, Jamila, Islam, Federation Press, 2011, p. 109.
- Kamrava, Mehran, The New Voice of Islam: Rethinking Politic and Modernity: a Reader, University of California, 2006, p. 163.
- Shabir Khan, Muhammad, Status of Women in Islam, APH Publishing, 1996, p. 50.
- Ali Ibn Hussein Zaynul Abidin, A commentary on Imam Sajjad’s “The Treaties of Rights”, translated by Ali Peiravi, Ansariyan Publication.
- Javadi Amoli, Abdollah, Mafatih al-Hayat, Asra, 2012, p. 257.
- Rizvi, Athar Hussein, Islamic Marriage, World Islamic Network.
- Ali Ibn Hussein Zaynul Abidin, As-Sahifa Al-Kamilah Al-Sajjadiyya, Muhammadi Trust of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.