“He is only a child!”, “Be quiet, this is a grown-up issue”, “Go to your room and don’t disturb us while we are talking” … What do these sentences remind you of? Your own childhood? Your little son or daughter?  you have probably heard these statements at least once or twice in your lifetime. Remember this, “ You are responsible for your flower ”. Now let’s read the following extract in this regard:

“It was the time of prayer (Salat). Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) who was with his grandchild, Hassan Ibn Ali (AS), invited people to perform this holy task. While standing for Salat, Prophet put the child beside himself and started his prayer. People who were behind him wondered why he had lingered in prostration for a long time, but there was no way for them to find out the cause in the middle of Salat. After they had finished, they inquired the reason of the Prophet (PBUH&HP): ‘we had never seen such a prostration from you. We thought that you were receiving revelations from Allah that made you linger in your prostration for such a long time’. He answered: ‘No it was not a revelation. My child, Hassan (AS), was climbing over me when I was in prostration and I did not want to rush and put him down. So I waited for him long enough to come down himself’” [1].

Or consider this account:

“Once prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) and other Muslims stand to perform Midday prayer (Salat al-Zuhr) in a congregational manner. However, after performing the second Rak’ah, Prophet (PBUH&HP) suddenly made haste in finishing the two remaining Rak’ahs. After the prayer was finished, the people around him asked: ‘Has something unpleasant happened that you made haste in completing your prayer?’ Prophet answered: ‘Haven’t you heard the voice of that baby who was moaning?’” [2]

These and many other examples from our kind Prophet shows the deep regard of our religion for the dignity and self-worth of children in Islam.

Through his speech and manner, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) constantly invited his followers to treat children in Islam with respect and to devote great attention to their behavior toward them; when his grandchildren entered a room, Prophet (PBUH&HP) would stand up and welcome them warmlyi, he was always the first one who greeted children and never refused children’s request for playing with them and participated in their games [3].

As a result of this kind of behavior, children in Islam will feel worthy of respect and will show more confidence in their actions. Consequently, when they grow up, they will be able to take risks and use their full capacity not being afraid of failure and humiliation.

On the contrary, the child whose dignity has been neglected by his/her parents will end up being shaky and not confident, not able to decide for his/her life and find his/her way to success. A beautiful analogy by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) will clarify this fact more: “my cloth will be cleaned by water, but what will cleanse my child’s heart from the dust of discomfiture and the pain of humiliation?” [4]  

So, in raising our children in Islam, it is our responsibility to be highly observant not to say something or act in a way that would deny their self-worth and dignity and belittle them in any way. Children are sensitive creatures, like flowers, an action or a remark which may seem to us unimportant and natural, can wither their beautiful and innocent souls easily, and mark a permanent injury on their heart. Remember, “You are responsible for your flower”.

Notes:

[i]. This behavior of Prophet (PBUH&HP) was probably because of the great personality and value of Imam Hassan (AS) and Imam Hossein (AS), however, when we consider it along with other Hadiths, we can easily distinguish the affectionate and compassionate manner of him toward children.  

References

1. Ibn Shahr Ashub, Muhammad. Manaqib Al Abi Talib. V.4, P.24.
2. Ali Ibn Hassan Tabarsi. Meshat al-Anvar. P. 243.
3. Abbas Qomi. Safinah al Bahar. V.2, P.676.
4. Falsafi, Muhammad Taqi. Child in Hereditary and Upbringing View (Kudak Az Nazare Verasat va Tarbiat). P.259.

Transgender in islam and their marriage is one of the new issues of our era. It does not mean that at the time of Prophet (PBUH&HP) no one was hermaphrodite. But the science of changing the sex into male or female, or curing this disorder to some extent had not been known yet. Therefore there is no verse or narration regarding this issue.

But how do we find out if transgender marriage is allowed (Halal) or forbidden (Haram) according to Islamic jurisprudence?

Transsexuals and Hermaphrodites

People who are known to be transsexual (a person who emotionally and psychologically feels that they belong to the opposite sex) or hermaphrodite (a person having both male and female sex organs or other sexual characteristics) are different from those who decide to be homosexual (lesbian or gay). Nevertheless, some of those who have homosexual tendencies may suffer from hermaphrodite disorders as well.

But the improvement of science these days has made it possible for transsexuals and hermaphrodites to go through a sex reassignment surgery (SRS) in which they can change their gender into the one they feel they belong to(obviously according to the physician’s opinion).

Since not having the operation and changing the sex may cause the person to commit a sin, or personal and social damages, it would be best if they can go through a sex reassignment surgery (SRS) and reduce these harms.

The Pessimistic Look at Transsexuals and Hermaphrodites

While transsexuality and hermaphrodites are obvious to be human disorders, most sufferers experience hostile encounters in the society.  It is important for the society, especially for Muslim communities, to become familiar with their issues and support them in a way that they can have a normal life alongside others.

One of the most offending manners towards them is to accuse them of having immoral sexual behaviors.  It should be very well understood by the society that accusing them of adultery is a forbidden (Haram) act according to Islam. We should keep in mind that they are human beings with all the rights and needs of a human.

The only difference is that they suffer from a disease, which makes them even more vulnerable. Hence they need special support from the society; such as disability support services provided by the government. 

Is Marrying a Transgender in Islam Forbidden (Haram)?

Since marriage, according to Islam and all the other Abrahamic religions is based on sexual differences, it is clearly false for a Muslim to marry a person with unknown gender. If a Man marries a transsexual with unknown gender, he cannot be sure if he has married a male or a female, therefore, that should become clear before marriage.

But if the sufferer has gone through the sex reassignment surgery (SRS) and the gender is now obvious, then there is no problem for a Muslim man or a Muslim woman to marry such a person under the Islamic rules of marriage.

However, they should both be aware that people who change their gender, will not be able to have children at all. (We hope that human knowledge can solve this issue in the near future). So, people who have had a sex reassignment surgery (SRS) should inform their “spouse to be” of their surgery and the consequences of the operation.

To conclude, we understand that marriage between or to a transgender -after the operation- is allowed (Halal) according to Islam and the couples may be able to shape a great family in which they feel comfort and relief. And if they wish to have children, they could always adopt a child which is strongly recommended in Islam.