Arbaeen pilgrimage is one of the most important ceremonies in Shia culture in which people come to Karbala for visiting the holy shrine of Imam Hussain (AS) and commemorating his sacrifice. Actually, Arbaeen pilgrimage is an exhibition of Shias’ lifestyle and because of that, Shia Imams pointed out the importance of Arbaeen pilgrimage many times.  

Arbaeen Pilgrimage in Hadiths

There are many hadiths quoted from our Imams about the significance of visiting the shrine of Imam Hussain (AS) and also about the rewards that Allah Almighty blesses the pilgrims with:
Imam Baqir (AS) said:

If the people knew about the profusion of Allah’s rewards to the pilgrims of Imam Hussain (AS), they would die due to their excitement and enthusiasm (1)

Imam Sadiq (AS) said:
If a person went to the shrine of Imam Hussain (AS), Allah will reward him as He rewards him for a Hajj plus an Umrah (another kind of the pilgrimage of Ka’bah) (2)

He (AS) also said:

Anyone who wants the Paradise to be their abode and refuge, they must not forget about visiting the grave of the Oppressed [means Imam Hussain (AS)] (3)

There are also hadiths which say we must visit the shrine of Imam Hussain (AS) on Arbaeen day:
Imam Hassan al-Askari (AS), the Eleventh Imam, says:

The signs of faith are five: praying 51 Rak’ats during the day, the pilgrimage of Arbaeen, putting ring on the right hand, putting frontal on dirt (during Sajdah), and saying “Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim” by a loud voice (4)

Because of these hadiths, many Shias come to Karbala in Arbaeen to visit the holy shrine of Imam Hussain (AS). Not only Shias, but also many Sunnis or even Christians, jews and many other faiths participate in this grand ceremony. 

Help and Dedication is the Most Important Lesson of Arbaeen

During these days when millions of people from all around the world come and visit some cities of Iraq including Karbala, Najaf, Samarra and Kazimain, all services to the pilgrims are provided by the Iraqi people themselves like food, water, places for rest, clinical services, etc. 

The generosity of Iraqi people in these days shows all the visitors that Imam Hussain’s message (AS) is different from any other hero in this world. They learn that in a world where everybody thinks only of their interests, we can be different just like Imam Hussain (AS). Iraqi people have exhibited a new lifestyle in which people are not individuals but a community led by one person, that is Imam Hussain (AS), regardless of their nationality, age, color, language, etc. and they are ready to sacrifice anything for their faith in Imam Hussain’s message (AS). 

Actually, this is what our awaited Imam, Imam Mahdi (AJ), wants. It is quoted from Imam Mahdi (AJ) that he said:

If the hearts of our followers where united based on accomplishing their covenant with us, it wouldn’t take long for them to meet us and they would be blessed with seeing us so soon. (5)

Iraqi people’s sacrificial deeds have made it so easy for people to do as Imam Mahdi (AJ) in this Hadith says. When Shia Muslims sacrifice all they have for their Shia brothers and sisters, it is called “Musavat” which means thinking of your bother and your sister as yourself and share everything you have with him orher. What we see in Iraq during the Arbaeen ceremony is actually the culture and the lifestyle which Shi’ism suggests: a society without poverty and cruelty; the society of Musavat. 

In this regard Imam Baqir (AS) says:

O son of Artat! [one of the Shias] how do you Shiites help each other?
 He said: very well O Aba-Jafar! [Imam Baqir (AS)]. Imam Baqir (AS) said: is it possible for any of you to put their hand in the pocket of their brother andmtake what they need when they need it so much?
He said: no, we do not allow that.
Imam Baqir (AS) said: if you did, there would be no needy among you. (6)

Fighting against Oppression and tyranny is the massage of Imam Hussain (AS)

Some concepts are valued everywhere in the world. For example, if you sacrifice your life to save another human being, you will be considered as a hero. The soldiers who fight for their nation’s freedom and dedicate their lives to save others are respected by anyone in their countries. Just like that, Imam Hussain (AS) sacrificed his life and the lives of his companions to save all the humanity from ignorance, misdirection and violence. In the Arbaeen prayer (a suggested prayer by the Shiite Imams that you read when you visit the shrine of Imam Hussain (AS) on Arbaeen) we say:
[O God!] Imam Hussain (AS) sacrificed the blood in his heart for your sake, so that he would save your worshipers from ignorance and the confusion of misdirection (7)

Imam Hussain (AS) showed the humanity that we must not accept the tyranny of any king, president, prime minister, or any person. Every person is important and we are responsible for their lives and we even should sacrifice our lives to save theirs. Clearly, this lesson creates a worldwide peace if everyone was familiar with it and put it in practice. 

How lady Zeinab (AS) can be a role-model for women? 

Lady Zeinab (AS) is Imam Hussain’s sister (AS) who accompanied him on his journey to Karbala and she was captured as a slave with the other women after the martyrdom of Imam Hussain (AS). She was a patient woman who endured all these problems including loss of her darlings, slavery, the enemies brutal behavior, humiliation and so forth; But she didn’t lose her control and she stood against the Yazid in Damascus and made some speeches that woke people up and made them aware of Yazid’s cruelty and bloodthirst. She actually was the messenger of Imam Hussain (AS) to the whole world and was commissioned to fight against oppression without a sword in her hands. 

Women must take lady Zeinab as an example and learn that if they cannot fight like men in the battlefields, it doesn’t mean that they have no responsibility for fighting against injustice. They can change the culture of a society if they believe in themselves. 
 
 Resources 

1.  Vasa’il ash-Shia, Sheik Hurr al-A’meli, vol.10, Pg.353
2. Bihar al-Anvar, Allamah al-Majlesi, vol.101, Pg.39
3.  Kamil az-Ziarat, Ibn Qulavaih, Pg.147
4.  Iqbal al-A’mal, As-Seyyed ibn Tavuss, vol.2, Pg.589
5.  Al-Ih’tijaj, At-Tabarsi, vol.2, Pg.325
6.  Bihar al-Anvar, Allamah al-Majlesi, vol.78, Pg.185
7. The same, vol.98, Pg.331

“When I was younger, I always wondered how I could distinguish between love and lust. My father used to say “all these little or great worldly loves we go through, are all here for us humans to eventually experience The love, one drop at a time, and to increase our capacity for it. That’s why when we look back at our previous experiences of feeling in love, we laugh at our naivety for calling that love! And that the love we are feeling now IS the real thing. Ignorant of the fact that a little down the line, we will again be laughing at what we are calling love now.”So let us find out why has God made love? What kind of love, are we expected to feel? My father says “Love is a sign from God. Love is a miracle, and miracles are here to make us believe” [1].

I started my article on dating and falling in love using the introduction of a love story book. As any reader knows, love or dating and falling in Love is not something that can be accepted in some lands and be ignored in some others. Dating and Falling in Love know no borders. Every human being from the time he/she sets foot in this world would experience dating and falling in love in one way or other, with different things, people, pets! Lands, etc. It is actually the liveliness of love that keeps human beings move forward. This dating and falling in love could be for money, status, education, or opposite sex.

In this article, I would like to talk about Love for opposite sex and its rulings according to Islam and dating in Islam.

Do Muslims fall in love?

Love is an essential need for the human. Without love life is dark and colorless. Muslims, like any other human beings, fall in love and may spend days and nights weeping for their beloved, until they can unite with their loved ones.

However, the main point of being committed to any religion and obeying its rules is for human beings to gain control over themselves. Human beings in facing different issues of life should show this self-control, and love is one of these issues.

From what I have seen among most non-Muslim cultures and religions when they fall in love, they start dating. They meet each other at different places and make memories together. Then they can grow their love and go through sexual relationships. They would even feel so much in love that they decide to live together as lover partners. In some cases, this loving partnership may end up with a baby. And in very optimistic ways, one day their grown-up children will happily shout in a church that “I knew that mom and dad would finally get married!”. As I said, that is the optimistic side of it. Otherwise, at the end of some of these relationships, we have depressed single parents with unwanted children.

Rules of Islam for Those Falling in Love and Dating in Islam

Since dating and falling in love takes one’s mind away, when a Muslim falls in love, by considering Islamic advice she/ he can avoid its negative consequences.

According to Islam, when someone feels fallen in love! with someone, he/ she should consider that person as his/ her “spouse to be.” So, the lover can determine if he/ she can live with his/ her loved one for the rest of his/ her life, and would they make a happy family and reach their goals? If the answer is positive, then they should start to get to know each other better. In most Islamic cultures, the starting point happens through families and dating in Islam is not very common. The boy proposes to the girl in a proposal ceremony. If the girl and the families are OK at this step, then the “bride to be” and “the groom to be” can start to know each other better.

Do the “bride to be” and “the groom to be” Date? Is Dating in Islam Allowed?

Since dating in non-Muslim cultures may be followed by different kinds of sexual lust, such as touching, hugging, kissing, etc., Islam would call this sort of dating forbidden (Haram).

But this does not mean that the “groom to be” and the “bride to be” are not allowed to meet up and talk together for better recognition of each other. In Muslim families, they usually meet up at the girl’s house, where her parents are also around. Yet, some boys and girls may find it useful to go out together for a meal or talk in social places. That is for them to know each other better in different situations.

According to Islam, it is not forbidden (Haram) for a man and a woman to be together in a place where other people can come and go, and there is no fear of committing a sin. So, dating is Islam is not forbidden provided that the above conditions are observed. However, both parties should make sure to limit these meetups to a few sessions. At the end of these few sessions, they can usually decide if they want to marry or not.

And if they don’t want to marry, they should stop their meetings. Also, if they decide to get married, they should proceed to the next levels. This can be a temporary marriage for engagement period and then a permanent Islamic marriage contract. The engagement may take a few days or a few years. But they are known as a married couple during this time, and there is no prohibition for them to be together. “After the recitation of the marriage formula, the couple may enjoy each other unless a certain enjoyment is agreed to be delayed to the night of consummating the marriage, in which case he has to observe the specified term.” [2]

Possible Damages of Dating

When two people start dating without a serious intention of marrying their partner, they start wasting their time on a useless relationship, solely for fun and enjoyment. Most of the time one of the parties is aware that he/ she does not see a future for this relationship. The other one keeps hoping for a marriage proposal. When it never happens, disappointment would fill his/ her life.

Also, people who keep dating with no intention for marriage would enjoy a relationship in which, unlike marriage, they are irresponsible towards their partner.

When other youths see how easy some people have fun with the opposite sex, they would be encouraged to date, too.

Usually, after many years of dating, when both parties have lost their younghood eagerness, they would shape a family. Although it is still very good to start family life, their life is much different from those who marry and have children at a younger age.

Conclusion

To conclude, dating in Islam for the sake of having fun with opposite sex and without a legal Islamic marriage contract is forbidden (Haram). But meeting up for further recognition is allowed (Halal). The main reason that makes dating in Islam prohibited is to protect both parties of possible damages of an unstable relationship. Thus, pre-marriage meetings (unlike dating) should be free of any kind of sexual lust, and only for the sake of finding a suitable spouse.

So, it is not forbidden (Haram) to fall in love according to Islam. But managing this love and controlling the self is of high importance. This would prevent people from committing great sins like adultery.

Reference:

1. Bahmanpour, Sedigheh, God Is Here, p. 1
2. love in Islam