We live in a diverse world with people of varying backgrounds and differences. People have different looks and colors, different cultures and traditions, thoughts and viewpoints, religions and beliefs, etc. However, they all live together on planet Earth where they need to have social connections, relationships and more importantly a sense of togetherness. In fact, the need for belonging to a society or community is the main reason why people seek friends.

However, finding a good friend and building a healthy and strong relationship is not always an easy task. Many factors influence the choice of friends with religion and beliefs being particularly important to people. It becomes even more significant when it comes to Islam, as we have a few verses in the Quran about friendship. These verses have raised the question of whether Muslims can be friends with non-Muslims.

In this text we will go through the verses of the Quran and some narrations to find the answer to the question mentioned above.

What does the Quran say about friendship?

The fact that the Quran emphasizes the issue of friendship in different verses and from different aspects shows the importance of friendship and how friends can influence each other’s lives and destinies. 

There is a verse in the Quran that talks about the regrets of people who end up in hell saying: 
“Woe to me! I wish I had not taken so and so as a friend! Certainly, he led me astray from the Reminder after it had come to me, and Satan is a deserter of man.’” (25: 28-29)

When the Quran talks about the huge shock that disbelievers go through in the hereafter it says:
 “Now we have no intercessors, nor do we have any sympathetic friend.” (26: 110- 101)   

Theses verses show that having a friend is a real need for human beings, even in the next life, and emphasize the fact that friends can either be misleading or genuine. Since the influence of friends is so important on human beings, Allah (SWT) advises us on the characteristics of good and bad friends and guides us on who to befriend and who to avoid. 

Who to befriend and who to avoid?

There are some verses in the Quran in which Allah (SWT) guides us not to take specific people as friends:

1-    Close friends should be of yourselves

“O you who have faith! Do not take your confidants from others than yourselves; they will spare nothing to ruin you. They are eager to see you in distress. Hatred has already shown itself from their mouths, and what their breasts hide [within] is yet worse. We have certainly made the signs clear for you, should you exercise your reason.” (3:118) 

Confidants are close friends with whom we share secrets. In the above verse Allah (SWT) advises us not to take our close friends from among those who are not faithful to us, whether they are Muslims or non-Muslims, since these types of people will try their best to endanger and harm us in any possible way. [1] 

However, the verse emphasizes close friends with whom we share secrets, and does not forbid normal friendship with people to whom we don’t share secrets and have routine conversations in which we can teach them and learn from them. 

2-    Being friends with just polytheists is not forbidden 

“Allah does not forbid you from dealing with kindness and justice with those [polytheists] who did not make war against you on account of religion and did not expel you from your homes. Indeed, Allah loves the just. Allah forbids you only in regard to those who made war against you on account of religion and expelled you from your homes and supported [the polytheists of Makkah] in your expulsion, that you make friends with them, and whoever makes friends with them—it is they who are the wrongdoers.” (60: 7- 8)

Therefore, living a peaceful life alongside those non-Muslims who respect you and your beliefs is not forbidden; rather, it is recommended to have communication with these type of moral and just non-Muslims so that you may convey the words of Allah (SWT) to them in words or by your actions. 
“If any of the polytheists seeks asylum from you, grant him asylum until he hears the Word of Allah. Then convey him to his place of safety. That is because they are a people who do not know.” (9:6)
But let’s study the verses of the Quran that seem to be in contradiction with what we just said, where Allah (SWT) commands us not to befriend a group of people.

3-    Do not befriend enemies of Allah  

“O you who have faith! Do not take My enemy and your enemy for friends, [secretly] offering them affection, if you have set out for jihad in My way and to seek My pleasure, for they have certainly denied whatever has come to you of the truth, expelling the Apostle and you, because you have faith in Allah, your Lord. You secretly nourish affection for them, while I know well whatever you hide and whatever you disclose, and whoever among you does that has certainly strayed from the right way.” (60: 1)

The phrase “my enemy and your enemy” in the above verse shows that the enemies of Allah (SWT) are, in fact, the enemies of believers, too. The logical reason for which Allah (SWT) forbids us from befriending His enemies is that they are not well-wishers for Muslims and try their best to ridicule, humiliate, and weaken the believers. What they wish for the believers is explained in different verses of the Quran: 

“Neither the faithless from among the People of the Book nor the idolaters like that any good be showered on you from your Lord” (2: 105), “They are eager to see you in distress” (3: 118), “The faithless are eager that you should be oblivious to your weapons and your baggage, so that they could assault you all at once” (4: 102), “Indeed they are devising a stratagem” (86: 15).

These verses explain the reasons why Allah (SWT) prohibits us from befriending His enemies and because they try their best to harm us, and the reason for that as explained in the Quran is: 
“Satan has prevailed upon them, so he has caused them to forget the remembrance of Allah. They are Satan’s confederates. Look! Indeed, it is Satan’s confederates who are the losers!” (58: 19)

These verses that advise Muslims to avoid befriending non-Muslims or idolaters are mostly about political relationships between countries where these friendships may endanger the interests of Muslim countries. And if a Muslim befriends non-Muslims or idolater who do not care about the interests of his/her country, they need to be cautious not to share secrets with them and keep their friendship in a level where they are not influenced by those friends. Rather they can affect them positively, because: 

“Allah will never provide the faithless any way [to prevail] over the faithful.” (4: 141)

References: 

1. Qara’ati, M. Tafseer-e Nour, vol. 1, p. 591

Almost everyone is scared of death; Even those who may commit suicide in a specific mental condition. If a physician tells us that we have an unknown disease and we will only live for a few more months, we would panic and stop living our normal life (we might live better or worse).

The reason that makes most of us scared of death is that we think all the things that we have tried to gain in this life, such as our belongings, our beloveds, our success, and experiences are going to disappear after death. Or that there is still a lot for us in this world to experience, achieve and enjoy.

However, this fear of death is mostly because the other world and the life after death are quite unknown to us, but if we come to understand the afterlife, we may even become eager to fulfill our duties in this life and get ready to travel to the other world. 

Now, let’s see if it is true that we will lose everything after death and also what Islam says about death and the life after it.

Afterlife (Ma’ad); One of the Pillars of Islam

Having faith in the afterlife (Ma’ad) is so important that it is one of the pillars of Islam. The main reason is that it is by believing in the fact that we will be resurrected after death and we will be held responsible for all of our actions, that we are careful about our manners and behaviors in this worldly life. It is mainly this idea that shapes our lifestyle and our relations with God, people, environment, etc. 

The worldly life

We usually take the earthly life very seriously, as if there is nothing more significant than our goals, actions, and relations in this world.  Although the way we live in this world is significant and it is our worldly actions that shape our lives in the hereafter, the Quran emphasizes that the real life is to come: “The life of this world is nothing but diversion and play, but the abode of the Hereafter is indeed Life (itself), had they known!” (29:64)

The Afterlife and the Stages after Death in Islam

1. Grave

“Then He made him die and buried him” (80: 21).

After we are dead and buried in a grave, our grave phase starts. But how is this phase?

It is narrated that “the grave is either a garden from heaven’s gardens or a corner of hell” [1].

The Grave Pressure

When the dead person is buried, he will not feel suffocated, but he will experience a sort of pressure that is indescribable for people in this world as if he is being squeezed to pass a needle hole. This pressure would work as a purifier for believers but unbelievers has nothing but pain and sorrow [2].

This pressure does not belong to those people who are buried, but every dead person will have this experience, even if they are dead hung or burnt into ashes. The pressure belongs to the soul, and every soul will go through the experiences of the afterlife [3].

But does everyone experience the grave pressure? It is narrated from Imam Sadiq (AS) that only very few people will be saved from going through this pressure [4].

Some of the reasons that will increase the grave pressure are backbiting, gossiping, disrespecting parents, usury, immorality, unpleasant manner towards family and friends, devastating the rights of other humans, etc. [5], while behaving based on Islamic teachings and ethics will reduce the grave pressure. 

The First Night

in Grave

When the dead person is buried, his/ her soul will leave the body but will still stay close to it. So he/she can see the burial ceremony and what is going on around. When his/ her relatives leave the grave, he/she finds him/herself alone in the dark and small grave.

Here, people are divided into three groups: perfect believers, complete atheists, the middle ones. The first group will start their heavenly life right away, the second group will start their eternal life in hell, and the middle that includes the majority of people will remain in hope and fear until the Resurrection Day when their situation will be determined [6].

Questioning by Nakir and Munkar

The first and the second group will experience the grave questioning by two angels; Nakir and Munkar so that they quickly start their eternal life in heaven or hell.  But the third group will not be questioned until the Judgment Day [7].

2. Limbo (Barzakh)

It is narrated from Imam Sadiq (AS) that limbo (Barzakh) means human’s grave from the time he dies until the day he is resurrected [8]. We know that most human bodies will be destroyed after some time in the grave, but what happens to the soul?

Based on the fact that the limbo (Barzakh) is a place between this life and the other life, and that all human beings, even those who are burnt to ashes or those who are hunted and eaten by animals will experience the limbo (Barzakh), we can conclude that the life in the grave -mentioned as limbo (Barzakh) life- is not limited to the grave. So what and how is limbo (Barzakh) life?

Right after death, the human soul directly enters a new life in which he/she can feel everything. They can have pleasure and sorrow which is based on their actions and behaviors in their worldly life.

Therefore, human experiences two lives after death. One is the limbo (Barzakh) life that would end like our earthly life: “And before them is a barrier until the day they will be resurrected” (23:100), and the other is the eternal life that starts on the Day of Resurrection and people may go to eternal hell or eternal heaven based on their worldly actions [9].

3. The Day of Resurrection

“And because the Hour is bound to come, there is no doubt in it, and Allah will resurrect those who are in the graves.” (22: 7)

The Day of Resurrection does not only belong to human beings. All creatures will be resurrected on that day [10]. On the Day of Resurrection, people will be queued to be questioned about their actions and to be sent to their eternal place. This day is not like our worldly days that are 24 hours. But as stated in the Quran “He directs the command from the heaven to the earth; then it ascends toward Him in a day whose span is a thousand years by your reckoning” (32: 5). And in another verse, it is stated that: “The angels and the Spirit ascend to Him in a day whose span is fifty thousand years” (70: 4). 

Imam Sadiq (AS) was asked: “why is that in one verse Allah says that the Day of Judgment is equal to a thousand years and in another verse, it is said to be equal to fifty thousand years?” Imam (AS) answered: “On the Day of Resurrection there are fifty stops, each of them equals a thousand years of this world” [11].

It is on this day that people face their worldly actions: “The day when every soul will find present whatever good it has done; and as for the evil, it has done, it will wish there were a far distance between it and itself. Allah warns you to beware of [disobeying] Him, and Allah is most kind to [His] servants” (3: 30).

4. The Eternal Life in the Hereafter

Unlike limbo (Barzakh) in which people wait to be resurrected and transported to a new world, the afterlife, which comes after the Day of Resurrection is eternal. Unlike this world in which we have to work and gain for the next life; in the eternal heaven there is no tiredness, nor sorrow, nor pain, nor hardship; “to remain in them [forever]; they will not seek to leave it for another place” (18: 108).

So, in the afterlife, people may become eternal in heaven or hell [i]. However, not all of those who go to hell will be eternal there, as it is narrated from the Imam Sadiq (AS) that “on the Day of Resurrection, God will expand His mercy so generously that even Iblis (Satan) will be greedy to receive it [12].

Remembering Death in Islam

The role of remembering death in improving the worldly life and therefore the life in the hereafter is very important. Imam Ali (AS) says: “when deciding to do evil actions, remember death as it destroys the pleasures and weakens the desires” [13]. But what is the most important benefit of remembering death?

Making life Meaningful

If we do not believe in another life and remember death as the end of existence, then many things in life may sound vain for us, and we may even lose our motivation to keep on having a good life. But when we believe that there is another life which is the real life, our actions in this world become more meaningful and targeted. Allah says in the Quran: “Did you suppose that We created you aimlessly and that you will not be brought back to Us?” (23: 115)

When we believe that there is no life after death, we might face many anxieties, disappointments and live an aimless life. But keeping in mind that whatever we do is being seen by God and recorded by Him, we will have more motivation to do good things, even if no one in this world cares about us.

“They say, ‘There is nothing but the life of this world: we live, and we die, and nothing but time destroys us.’ But they do not have any knowledge of that, and they only make conjectures… Say, ‘It is Allah who gives you life, then He makes you die. Then He will gather you on the Day of Resurrection, in which there is no doubt. But most people do not know” (45: 24-6).

Notes:
[i] Read about the concept of eternal life here: http://blog.holymoodpictures.com

References:

1. Allamah Majlesi, Bihar al-anwar, vol. 6. Chapter Sakarat al-mawt, narration No. 19
2. Bahmanpour, Mohammad Saeed, (2012)  Naseem- e Abadiyyat,  p. 34
3. Shaikh Al-Sadouq, Man la yahzuruhu Al-faqih, vol. 1, p. 279
4. Allamah Majlesi , Bihar Al-Anwar, vol. 6, p. 260
5. Allamah Majlesi , Bihar Al-Anwar, vol. 5, p. 265
6. Bahmanpour, Mohammad Saeed, (2012)  Naseem- e Abadiyyat,  p. 41
7. ibid
8. Allamah Majlesi Bihar al-anwar, vol. 6. Chapter Ahwal-e barzakh, narration No. 116
9. Mutahhari, Murtaza, Life after death, Vol. 3, p. 504
10. An’aam (6), Verse No. 38
11. Allamah Majlesi Bihar al-anwar, vol. 7, p. 126
12. Allamah Majlesi , Bihar Al-Anwar, vol. 7, p. 287
13. Nahjul balagha, sermon No. 99