In all books of success and in all seminars on the same topic, gratitude and being grateful is introduced as one of the most important keys to success. For example, Brian Tracy says “Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” or as Oprah Winfrey puts it: “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” [1]

In this text we try to see if these types of sayings and ideas about gratitude and its impact on one’s life are accepted in Islam.

Definition of ingratitude and gratitude 

There are a few verses in the Quran that talk about the importance of gratitude and the consequences of showing both gratitude and ingratitude. To understand the meaning of gratitude and thanking God and His creations, it is important to have a deeper understanding of the Arabic root of the words gratitude (Shukr) and ingratitude (Kufr). 

Allah Says in the Quran “… and thank Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me.” (2: 125) do not be ungrateful to me in Arabic is “wa la takfurun” that again comes from the root word “kufr”. The meaning of the word “kufr” is to cover or hide something. [2]

It is interesting that in another verse of the Quran the word farmer is also related to the root word “Kufr”; “…like rain, whose growth impresses the farmer…” (52: 20) and the farmer in the Quran is mentioned as “Kuffar”. The Quran commentators believe that the word “Kuffar” is used for farmers, since the farmer hides the seeds under the soil. [3]

Therefore, ingratitude or ungratefulness in the Quran is used about people who see, feel and use the blessings of Allah (SWT) but they ignore those blessings in different ways such as complaining about what they have, keep asking for things they are not blessed with by the wisdom of God, or more importantly not using the blessings that Allah has given them properly. 

On the other hand, the Arabic word “shukr” which is used for gratefulness and showing gratitude means, “to reveal” something. Therefore, the concept of gratefulness and gratitude is to see, feel and use the blessings of Allah, while at the same time trying to use these blessings in the right way. 

There are different ways of showing gratitude for different blessings of God. For example, showing gratitude for the health is not possible while laying down in front of TV for hours and saying, “thank God for my health”. Instead, showing gratitude for one’s health is possible when, for example, one takes care of his/her health and uses his/her strength in helping the religion of Allah and helping other servants of His.  There are thousands of ways in showing gratitude for our health, wealth, knowledge, good family and friends, etc. the key point is showing gratitude is to see the blessings and use them in the best possible ways. 

A great definition for gratitude is explained by Imam Al-Sadiq (AS): “The least kind of gratitude is when a person knows the blessing is (directly) from God and does not know any reason for it except Him and when he/she is happy with what God has given him/her and does not commit sins through His blessings. And, he/she does not use the blessings of God as a means for opposing his commands.” [4]

The consequences of showing Gratitude and ingratitude to Allah 

What happens to those who are grateful and those who are not? Does it make any difference? As human beings, we expect others to be grateful to us if we do them a favor, and it is considered rude not to thank other people’s favors. However, thanking Allah does not have any benefits for Him, or being ungrateful to Him would not harm Him in any ways. So the reason why Allah (SWT) emphasizes on thanking Him can again be understood from the Arabic words used for gratefulness and ungratefulness. If we are grateful it means that we show “Shukr” that means we reveal the blessings of Allah. Noticing these blessings is the first step to appreciate what we have and to start using them in order to achieve success in different dimensions. However, if we are not grateful it means that we are committing “Kufr,” which means we are hiding or covering the blessings of Allah, the result of which is wasting His blessings and therefore, wasting our lives. 

Allah (SWT) says in the Quran: “If you are grateful, I will surely enhance you [in blessing], but if you are ungrateful, My punishment is indeed severe.” (14: 7)

It is clear as day that if one understands the value of his/her blessings, then he/she can improve the life quality of him/herself and others using those blessings. And if one wastes the blessings, it is rational to take those advantages from him/her and give the facilities to someone who can best use them in improving his/her and others’ lives. 

But, unfortunately Allah mentions in the Quran that “few of My servants are grateful.” (34:13) Therefore, it would be great if we can try our best to discover and recognize even the smallest blessings that Allah (SWT) has provided us. We have no idea how using the smallest blessings can bring huge changes and improvements in our life and our soul.  

Showing Gratitude to other human beings

Thanking Allah (SWT) for His blessings is very important. However, Allah (SWT) gives specific attention to being grateful toward other human beings. Thanking those who have favored us the most is so important in the eyes of Allah that He obliges us to be grateful to them “We have enjoined man concerning his parents: His mother carried him through weakness upon weakness, and his weaning takes two years. Give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is the return.” (31:14)

In mentioning the importance of this verse Imam al-Ridha (AS) says: “Allah Almighty has put gratitude and thanksgiving for Himself along with gratitude and thanks to the parents, whoever has not done the gratitude of the parents has not done the gratitude of Allah.” [5]

Apart from thanking Parents, thanking other people in the society is very important in Islam. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) says: “He who does not give thanks to the people (for their favors) does not give thanks to God.” [6]

May we all start seeing and discovering the blessings that Allah (SWT) has given us and start using them to the most, so we can make a better life and afterlife for ourselves and others. 

References:

1. Gratitude
2. Qara’ati, M. Tafseer-e Noor, vol. 9. p. 477
3. ibid
4. Gilani, A commentary on Al-Mesbah Al-Shari’ah, p. 61
5. Oyoun Akhbar al-Riza, vol. 1. p. 258
6. Man La Yahzuruhu al-faqih, vol. 2, p, 343
    

Family plays an important role in societies and in each individual’s life. People’s personality is mostly formed in their families and the society is formed by the people. Family is a little community in which everything that happens has a direct impact on the whole society. In fact, family is a miniature society. 

In the Islamic culture, the head of the house who raises the children and creates the suitable atmosphere in the house for the members of the family is the mother. So, the ones who create the community are women. Families are so vital for the survival of the society and this accounts for women’s essential role. Therefore, it’s very important for Muslims to understand how Islam sees women. 

The Holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) was born in a society where women were considered less valuable even than animals. Ignorant Arabs would kill their daughters because it was a shame for them to have daughters. But Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP), revolutionizing the whole Arab community, saved women from those horrible circumstances. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) tried so hard to his last breath to save women and the suppressed ones in the society from the Arab’s Ignorance. 

In this regard, Imam Ali (AS) says:

For the sake of Allah, For the sake of Allah be careful about the women and the slaves because your Prophet was talking about them in his last seconds (and he was worried about them) (1)
Prophets’ Behavior with His Wives

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) says:

Behold! The best of you is the best of you in treating with their families (including their wives) and I am the best of you in that (2).

Men in Islam are responsible for their wives and they are obliged to be kind with them and provide their needs. They are even ordered to endure their wives if they don’t behave well. The Holy Quran says:

Consort with them in an honorable manner; and should you dislike them, maybe you dislike something while Allah invests it with an abundant good (4:19)

One of the most important signs of the prophet’s kindness and love for his wives is his behavior against his first and beloved wife, Lady Khadija (AS). About her, the Prophet (PBUH & HP) says: “Where can I find someone like Khadija?” (3)

The holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) says:

My Brother Gabriel told me about the rights of the women so much that I thought that men even cannot say “fie” on their wives. (4)

The Value of Daughters

In the ages of ignorance, Arabs would bury their daughters alive, because they couldn’t stand the shame that was considered in those times for having daughters. In this regard, the holy Quran says:

When one of them is brought the news of a female [newborn], his face becomes darkened, and he chokes with suppressed agony (16:58)

One of the most important missions of the Messenger (PBUH & HP) was making people aware of the fact that men and women are the same in Allah Almighty’s sight. Due to this mission, Prophet had to emphasize on the value of girls even more than the boys. Imam Reza (AS) says:

The holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) would say: Allah Almighty is more kind to the female than the male. In the Judgement Day, Allah will make happy every man who delights one of his female relatives. (5)

The holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) also says:

Should anyone of you went to a shop and bought presents and brought them to their family, he will be rewarded like someone who helps the needy ones. When he went to his house, he must firstly give their daughter the present because anyone who delights their daughters will be rewarded like someone who has freed a slave (6)

The Prophet Muhammads’ Behavior in his House

The holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) would eat every meal prepared by his wives and he wouldn’t nag or complain about any of them. He would always sit with his family while eating except for the times they had a guest. (7)

In the house, Prophet (PBUH & HP) would darn his torn clothes, milk the sheep, grind wheats, and such chores. He would always say:

Helping wives and doing housework is a way of beneficence for the sake of Allah (8)  

Resources

1. Tohaf al-Oqul, pg.197
2. Sonan an-Nabi, pg.150
3. Kashf al-Qummah, al-Irbeli, vol.1, pg.360 
4. Mustadrak al-Vasail, vol.14, pg.252
5. Vasil ash-Shia, vol.15, pg.104
6. Bihar al-Anvar, vol.104, pg.69
7. Makarim al-Akhlaq, pg.26
8. Bihar al-Anvar, vol.16, pg.227