A feature that is being propagated by different types of media about Muslims and Islam is an angry and aggressive face. This is while Islam has a lot of direct commands and recommendations about controlling anger and being good-tempered. A narration from Imam Sadiq (AS) defines good-temper very well: “Good temper is to soften your attitude and clear your speech and meet your brother with kindness.” [1]

In this text, we will study the viewpoint of Islam on being good-tempered.

Direct recommendations from the Quran

There are many verses of the Quran that teaches us how to interact with others. The Prophet of Islam (PBUH&HP) was sent as a role model: 
“There is certainly a good exemplar for you in the Apostle of Allah—for those who look forward to Allah and the Last Day and remember Allah much.” (33:21) 

This exemplar is defined in different verses of the Quran, not only by admiring the number of his prayers but with his excellent manners. Allah admires his apostle by saying: 

“And indeed, you possess a great character.” (68: 4)

Therefore, when Allah tells us: 

“Obey Allah and the Apostle so that you may be granted [His] mercy” (3: 132), He means that by following the characteristics of the Prophet (PBUH&HP), one can achieve success and prosperity. One of his most important features was his good-temper. 

The effects of being good tempered on achieving success

One may think that many people are not good-tempered and yet have very successful lives. However, the Quran introduces being soft and kind to people as a means of reaching goals. 
Almighty Allah says to His Apostle: 

“It is by Allah’s mercy that you are gentle to them; had you been harsh and hardhearted, they would have surely scattered from around you. So excuse them and plead for forgiveness for them, and consult them in the affairs, and once you are resolved, put your trust in Allah. Indeed Allah loves those who trust in Him.” (3: 159)

As it is mentioned in the above verse, Allah introduces being good-mannered and good-tempered as the essential element that made the Prophet (PBUH&HP) successful in guiding people. Also, some of the features of a good-tempered person are mentioned in this verse:

1.To be forgiving towards people’s faults and mistakes in our social or family life (Excuse them). 

2.To ask Allah to forgive other people for their sins and mistakes (plead for forgiveness for them). Having this manner helps us feel real compassion towards others, and therefore, it allows us to interact with them with kindness and a good temper. 

3. To give credit and respect to other people by asking their ideas even if we know better than they do (consult them in the affairs). 
Imagine that if in our daily life, we try to consider these three crucial hints, how peaceful our life will become, and how influential we can become in our relations and communications.

To Whom should we be good tempered?

Should we be soft and gentle to everyone? Or are there groups of people to whom we should be harsh and demanding? 

Two verses in the Quran explain how Muslims should behave towards different groups of people. This verse of the Quran: “Muhammad, the Apostle of Allah, and those who are with him are hard against the faithless and merciful amongst themselves,” (48: 29) indicates that Muslims should be kind and merciful to other Muslims and harsh on those who deny the existence of Allah and the hereafter. However, when Allah orders prophet Moses (PBUH) and Aaron to go to Pharaoh to invite him to monotheism, He orders them: 

“Both of you go to Pharaoh, for he has indeed rebelled. Speak to him in a gentle manner; maybe he will take admonition or fear.” (20: 43-44)

 Again, in this verse, Allah introduces the importance of soft and gentle speech as an essential means of reaching goals.

 The effects of being good tempered in our life

Experience shows that by being good-tempered, one can become popular among others and can make his/her own life as well as others peaceful. 
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) says: 

"being good-tempered sustains friendship.” [2]

Imam Al-Sadiq (AS) says: 

“Charity and being good-tempered flourish lands and increase lifetime.” [3]

And in the words of Imam Ali (AS): 

“The treasures of the provision are in being good-tempered and affability.” [4]

These verses of the Quran clearly show that if people wish to have a good life in this world and the hereafter, they need to work on themselves to control their anger and to be good-tempered in their relationships.  

References:

1. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 68, p. 389
2. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 389
3. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 395
4. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 75, p. 53
    

In the first part of the article, some stress relieving practices were discussed. Here we complete the list with other advises proposed for facing stress in Islam.

Visiting Family and Gathering with Friends, especially Believers and Those of the Same Religion

Isolation is undoubtedly the worst way to deal with depression, although some have a completely opposite view on this matter. In general, upholding kinship with relatives and visiting them regularly, benefits one from their social and emotional support [1]. And particularly, in the case of having a problem as serious as depression, they will not leave their loved ones alone and will help to find the resources to get him/her treated.  That’s why keeping family ties is strongly emphasized and recommended in Islamic teachings [2]. 

Gathering frequently with supportive friends can also play a big role in making depression more manageable and relieving stress in Islam. In Islamic resources, trustworthy friends are known to be like one’s eyes and hands, and family and properties of a person; they are rare and invaluable [3], and they can help a lot to deal with such disorders.

Marriage in Islam

It is stated in Surah Rum that God has created mates for the human beings which are the source of solace and comfort to them (30:21). Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said that after Islam, nothing is more beneficial than a righteous, kind, Muslim wife who brings a smile to the face when looking at her [4].  That is within a lawful (Halal) marriage that both sides receive pure affection and emotional support from each other; respond safely to their sexual urge; help and encourage each other to achieve their goals, promote their social statue and get a better economic situation. Moreover, the researchers suggest that marriage provides the companionship and emotional support needed to help alleviate depression [5]. Hence, many of one’s worries might fade in a successful marriage [6].

Taking on a Nice Appearance, A way of Relieving Stress in Islam

Looking clean and nice is one of the manners of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). It makes one look good, feel good, be confident and attract the company of people and their respect which consequently helps one’s stress to be healed. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to put on perfume and always advised others to do so [7]. On the contrary, looking disheveled has always been blamed in Islamic teachings and narrations since it is believed that one should make the most of the blessings of life [8]. The effect of having a clean and nice appearance and smelling good manifests itself in a healthy, joyful individual [9].

Healthy Entertainments and Physical Activities to Face Stress in Islam

Doing sport and healthy entertainments are highly advised in Islam due to its wonderful benefits on one’s peace and success. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said that a wise person divides his daily schedule to four parts and dedicates one of them to lawful (Halal) and healthy entertainment which comforts heart and mind [10]. Imam Ali (AS) has emphasized the impacts of cheerful moments and the state of being happy on one’s soul and mind, too [11, 12]. However, entertainment should not be confused with useless activities. Doing sports especially horse riding, shooting and swimming are encouraged in Islam [13, 14]. On the contrary, playing marbles, gambling or any kind of activity with the intent of winning money or material goods [15], and any entertainment which is a waste of time (like sitting in front of the TV all day and doing nothing else) are absolutely forbidden. That is due to the fact that one gains nothing for doing such activities but loses time and energy, and Muslims are warned neither to lose nor to cause damage.

Acts of Charity

One of the psychological impacts of giving charity is the joy that the donor will experience in his/her heart. Acts of charity and helping others might happen in several forms, like watering a plant, teaching, helping deaf (without nagging and complaining) to communicate with others and being tolerant towards people [16]. In Surah Baqara, it is said that those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah, will be surely rewarded by their Lord. Moreover, they will not fear, nor will they grieve (2:262).

References:

1. A. Javadi Amoli, “Mafatih al-hayat”, p. 216.
2. what does islam say about maintaining family ties
3. M. al-Kulaynī, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 2, p. 248.
4. Shaykh Tusi, “Tahdhib al-ahkam fi sharh al-muqni'a”. vol. 7, p. 278, T. 4.
5. Frech, A. and Williams, K., 2007. Depression and the psychological benefits of entering marriage. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 48(2), pp.149-163.
6. stress in life
7. M. al-Kulaynī, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 6, p. 510.
8. A. Javadi Amoli, “Mafatih al-hayat”, p. 164.
9. H. F. Tabarsi, “Makarim al-akhlaq”, p. 42.
10. Shaykh Sadouq, “Ma'ani l-akhbar”, p. 334.
11. “Ghurar al-Hikam wa Durar al-Kalim”, T. 3992.
12. “Ghurar al-Hikam wa Durar al-Kalim”, T. 3993.
13. Al Suyuti, “Jami al-saghir”, vol. 1, p. 38.
14. Al Suyuti, “Jami al-saghir”, vol. 1, p. 627.
15. Ibn Babawayh, “Al-Khisal”, p. 331.
16. A. Javadi Amoli, “Mafatih al-hayat”, p. 547.