Family plays an important role in societies and in each individual’s life. People’s personality is mostly formed in their families and the society is formed by the people. Family is a little community in which everything that happens has a direct impact on the whole society. In fact, family is a miniature society. 

In the Islamic culture, the head of the house who raises the children and creates the suitable atmosphere in the house for the members of the family is the mother. So, the ones who create the community are women. Families are so vital for the survival of the society and this accounts for women’s essential role. Therefore, it’s very important for Muslims to understand how Islam sees women. 

The Holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) was born in a society where women were considered less valuable even than animals. Ignorant Arabs would kill their daughters because it was a shame for them to have daughters. But Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP), revolutionizing the whole Arab community, saved women from those horrible circumstances. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) tried so hard to his last breath to save women and the suppressed ones in the society from the Arab’s Ignorance. 

In this regard, Imam Ali (AS) says:

For the sake of Allah, For the sake of Allah be careful about the women and the slaves because your Prophet was talking about them in his last seconds (and he was worried about them) (1)
Prophets’ Behavior with His Wives

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) says:

Behold! The best of you is the best of you in treating with their families (including their wives) and I am the best of you in that (2).

Men in Islam are responsible for their wives and they are obliged to be kind with them and provide their needs. They are even ordered to endure their wives if they don’t behave well. The Holy Quran says:

Consort with them in an honorable manner; and should you dislike them, maybe you dislike something while Allah invests it with an abundant good (4:19)

One of the most important signs of the prophet’s kindness and love for his wives is his behavior against his first and beloved wife, Lady Khadija (AS). About her, the Prophet (PBUH & HP) says: “Where can I find someone like Khadija?” (3)

The holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) says:

My Brother Gabriel told me about the rights of the women so much that I thought that men even cannot say “fie” on their wives. (4)

The Value of Daughters

In the ages of ignorance, Arabs would bury their daughters alive, because they couldn’t stand the shame that was considered in those times for having daughters. In this regard, the holy Quran says:

When one of them is brought the news of a female [newborn], his face becomes darkened, and he chokes with suppressed agony (16:58)

One of the most important missions of the Messenger (PBUH & HP) was making people aware of the fact that men and women are the same in Allah Almighty’s sight. Due to this mission, Prophet had to emphasize on the value of girls even more than the boys. Imam Reza (AS) says:

The holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) would say: Allah Almighty is more kind to the female than the male. In the Judgement Day, Allah will make happy every man who delights one of his female relatives. (5)

The holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) also says:

Should anyone of you went to a shop and bought presents and brought them to their family, he will be rewarded like someone who helps the needy ones. When he went to his house, he must firstly give their daughter the present because anyone who delights their daughters will be rewarded like someone who has freed a slave (6)

The Prophet Muhammads’ Behavior in his House

The holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) would eat every meal prepared by his wives and he wouldn’t nag or complain about any of them. He would always sit with his family while eating except for the times they had a guest. (7)

In the house, Prophet (PBUH & HP) would darn his torn clothes, milk the sheep, grind wheats, and such chores. He would always say:

Helping wives and doing housework is a way of beneficence for the sake of Allah (8)  

Resources

1. Tohaf al-Oqul, pg.197
2. Sonan an-Nabi, pg.150
3. Kashf al-Qummah, al-Irbeli, vol.1, pg.360 
4. Mustadrak al-Vasail, vol.14, pg.252
5. Vasil ash-Shia, vol.15, pg.104
6. Bihar al-Anvar, vol.104, pg.69
7. Makarim al-Akhlaq, pg.26
8. Bihar al-Anvar, vol.16, pg.227
    

“Modesty and faith are connected with one another just like two things fastened by a rope. If one of them is gone, the other is also lost” [1]. Imam Baqir (AS). Modesty is a special sense that prevents one from saying inappropriate words and making mistakes. It refers to an uncomfortable feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one's anxiety about being exposed to some unworthy or indecent conduct. This concept, as one of the highest and most fundamental moral qualities, is known as Haya in Islam. Modesty in Islam describes shyness and shame, but Haya represents a more profound implication that is based on faith. In many sayings (Hadiths), it has been quoted that modesty is linked with faith and originates from it [1, 2]. Hence, it is one of the most important characteristics that every Muslim should acquire and possess [3]; particularly Muslim women (“haya is a good characteristic for all, but is better for women” [4]).

Modesty in Islam: natural and acquired

There are two types of modesty: natural and acquired. An example of the former is the feeling of shyness and humility naturally occurring in a young child that makes him/her cover the private parts of the body from others. Or, in the story of Eve and Adam (PBUT) where they realize their nakedness and try to hide their genitals. This kind of modesty is common sense that exists within all human beings, believer or non-believer: “God Almighty divided the modesty among people just as He divided the provision” [5], and what differentiates them from animals: “If modesty did not exist … the promises wouldn’t be kept … Nobody would do any good, and nobody would refrain from the evil … if it weren’t for modesty, many people wouldn’t stop sinning.” [6]. Modesty serves as a cover on the soul that conceals the defects and calms down wrath and lust [7]. No one can, therefore, justify his/her sins and mistakes because of not being naturally given a sense of modesty.

The latter, on the other hand, can be only attained as a result of knowing and perceiving the Glory of Allah and minding His presence everywhere and in every second. In Islamic ethics, modesty is more than just a question of how a person dresses and acts in social interactions; instead, it is reflected in a Muslim’s conduct before God, before others, and even when one is alone.

Modesty towards others

Modesty towards others entails that one has decent and reasonable behavior in public, avoids indecent talks and vain activities, and respects everyone around him/her. If one has developed this ethical aspect within him/her and obeyed this sense, he/she will become ashamed when someone notices him doing something wrong. This feeling will be even worse when the other person is in a higher position. This, consequently, stops him/her from repeating that action.

To clarify the importance of modesty towards people, Imam Ali (AS) said that the evilest of all is who is not ashamed of his actions in front of people [8].

Modesty towards others includes especially the opposite gender and involves not gazing at them [9], harming them in any way or indulging in any forbidden (Haram) relation with them. In Surah Nur, Allah guides both men and women to the key to modesty by saying that believing men and women should lower their gaze and guard their modesty (24:30-31).

A good instance of modesty in the interactions between opposite genders is described in Surah Qasas, verses 23-26, between the daughters of Shoaib (PBUH) and Moses (PBUH). These verses demonstrate that the daughters of the prophet work and appear in society, but they care about how they interact with others; they concentrate on what they should do without having unnecessary dialogues with men. They communicate as much as necessary, with respect and dignity. Their speech is direct and clear-cut with Moses, so are Moses’s words. Even the way they both walk is with care and shyness [10].

Modesty towards Oneself

Modesty towards oneself means that a person treats himself fairly in private. It is caused by the unpleasant feeling that arises when thinking of or doing something improper which consequently stops one from forbidden (Haram) thoughts or illicit acts. It was mentioned that when one does something indecent and suddenly notices the presence of others, he becomes ashamed (if he still possesses the natural modesty that is laid within his soul); a higher level of Haya is being ashamed of oneself when no one else is present. This kind of modesty is known as the yield of faith: “The shame a person feels from himself originates from [his] faith.” [11].

Modesty towards God

Modesty towards God is called the best level of modesty [12]: “be modest in front of Allah for He has a right to your modesty” [13]. To accomplish this, one should first believe that nothing can be concealed from God “Does he not know that Allah sees [him]?” (96:14). In fact, Allah sees and knows everything, and is closer to humans more than themselves: “and We are nearer to him than [his] jugular vein” (50:16). Consequently, a modest person toward God will avoid any indecent act, in public or private, and will leave sinful thoughts behind.

References:

1. M. al-Kulaynī, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 2, p. 106.
2. M. B. Majlesi, “Bihar al-Anwar”, vol. 75, p. 309.
3. M. al-Kulaynī, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 2, p. 106, T. 5.
4. A. Q. Payande, “Nahj Al-Fasahah”, p. 578, T. 2006.
5. S. H. al-Amili, “Wasail al-Shia”, vol. 20, p. 135.
6. M. B. Majlesi, “Mofazzal monotheism”, Chapter: Human Senses.
7. “Nahj al-Balagha”, no. 223
8. “Ghurar Al-Hikam”, no. 5464
9. M. B. Majlesi, "Bihar al-Anwar”, vol. 101, p. 40.
10. N. Makarem Shirazi, “Tafsir Nemooneh”, vol. 16, p 58-59.
11. “Ghurar Al-Hikam”, no. 4944.
12. “Ghurar Al-Hikam”, no. 5451.
13. H. T. Nuri Ṭabarsi, “Mustadrak al-Wasail”, vol. 8, p. 462.