Human beings by nature are social creatures, in need of companions and friends. Most of our lives depend on interactions with others, and man is therefore compelled to live in society and with other individuals. Friendship in Islam is considered one of the Divine blessings through which one overcomes loneliness and solitude.

Islam has placed tremendous importance on sociability and friendship. In the Quran [i], great emphasis has been placed on the concept of friendship because maintaining good company plays a pivotal role in shaping the life of the individual and it influences the path that will be chosen in life. Likewise, the Holy Prophet (PBUH&HP) and his Ahl al-Bayt (AS) on different occasions had clearly stated its importance, criteria for choosing a friend, characteristics of a good friend and the rights of a friend [1].

Friendship in Islam

Friends are an integral and important part of our social life as they contribute greatly to the development of one’s personality and they affect many aspects of our lives. Islam, in complete harmony with man’s nature, deals extensively both in the Quran and the narrations (Hadiths) of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) with the issue of friendship in Islam.

In the Quran, Allah says:

“On that day, friends will be one another’s enemies, except for the Godwary.” (43:67)

The Holy Prophet (PBUH&HP) while explaining the impact of friends says:

“Man is influenced by the faith of his friends. Therefore, be careful of whom you befriend.”[2]

Similarly, the commander of the faithful; Imam Ali (AS) says:

“Try to have as many as possible true friends, for they are the supplies in joy and the shelters in misfortunes” [3]

Choosing a Friend

Islam attaches great emphasis on the choice of a friend to be selected in life. For this purpose, it is expected that one should employ his/her judgment in a manner free from emotion and try to set aside the criterion for assessing his/her real worth. “One must know his/her inadequacies and weak points, his/her ideas, feelings, dislikes and infirmities. Ultimately, one must discover the human merits and desirable qualities that he/she carries in the depth of his/her spirit so that one may benefit from his/her outstanding virtues.”[4]

Therefore, for the great good or bad influences friends can have on the characters and personality of each other, it is important for every man of reason to choose friends that are characterized by good mannerism and behavior.

Meanwhile, in accordance with the sayings of the Prophet (PBUH&HP) and his Ahl al-Bayt (AS), a Muslim must avoid certain sets of people as friends: transgressor, hypocrites, foolish, liar, sinful, stingy, and disregardful to his/her relatives. Similarly, non-Muslims should not be taken as intimate friends or allies [5].

However, there is no hindrance for a boy having a girl as a friend or vice versa, so far as the Islamic regulations (such as the Islamic Hijab, avoidance of indiscriminate touching, etc.) are observed and they avoid any sinful act.

Characteristics of a Good Friend

In Islam, the followings are some of the characteristics to be looked forward to in a friend:

Intelligence
Faith
Honesty
Uprightness and well mannerism

Rights of a Friend

Following some narrations (Hadiths) [6], friendship entails certain trusts and duties. The one who observes them is a true friend while one who breach them is unworthy of friendship in Islam. Here are some of the rights of friends:

Respecting them and their personality [7]
Rendering material supports in the time of need [8]
Advising them when they need your advice [9]
Forgiving their shortcomings [10]
Concealing their lapses and faults from others [11]
Visiting them when they are sick [12]
Participating in their funeral when they die[13]

Conclusion

Concisely, friends are integral parts of our social life, and it is important to be selective in the choice of companions and friends. The righteous ones who lead one to righteousness in this world and prosperity in the Hereafter should be considered as friends. 

In contrast, hypocrites and ill-mannered individuals who are sources of plights in this world and in the Hereafter should not be taken as friends. Similarly, Islam teaches the Muslims to observe certain matters in friendly relations. This is because immoderation in this regard may lead to deplorable consequences and bring regret and pain.

Notes:

[i] (9: 71), (25: 27-29), etc.

References:

1. Al-Amidi, Ghurar al-Hikam, P. 177; Mustadrak Wasa’il, Vol. 5, chapter 42
2. Allamah Majlisi, Bihar al-Anwar, Vol. 74, P. 192.
3. Mahdi as-Sadr, The Ahlul-Bayt; Ethical role models, P. 290.
4. Mujtaba Musavi Lari, Ethics and Spiritual growth, P. 211.
5. (3: 28); (4: 144); (5: 51); (9: 23) etc.
6. Imam Ali Zayn al-Abideen, Treatise on Rights, Right 33 (The right of the companion)
7. Ibid
8. Kulayni, Al-Kafi, Vol. 2, P. 198, Hadith No: 8.
9. Al-Amidi, Ghurar al-Hikam, P. 775
10. Ibid
11. Ibid, P. 707
12. Allamah Majlisi, Bihar al-Anwar, Vol. 16, P. 233, Hadith 35
13. Kulayni, Al-Kafi, Vol. 3, P. 173.

Backbiting is highly forbidden in Islam and is considered as a major sin. By speaking behind the back of others, people might deliberately spoil the dignity of each other, and in Islam, nothing is far more valuable than the honour of a human being. It is narrated from Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) that during the miraculous night journey (Mi’raj) [i] that he (PBUH & HP) had, he (PBUH & HP) passed a group of people in hell who were scratching their own faces with nail. He (PBUH & HP) asked who they were. It was said that, those were the ones who used to backbite and dishonour others [1]. This punishment, besides others, was due to the fact that backbiting destroys the face of others and misrepresents them, hence, the backbiters scratched their faces which caused them to look more monstrous and nasty.   Let’s see what Islam’s definition of backbiting, its conditions, types, consequences, etc is.

Meaning of Backbiting in Islam

According to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP), backbiting is to mention and scold someone behind his back which is unpleasant and unkind to him/her [2]. It can be about his/her physical appearance, body, origin, character, deeds, or possessions like clothes, home, children or spouse. 
Notice that there is a delicate difference between backbiting and slander. According to Imam Sadiq (AS), backbiting is to reveal something about your Muslim brother which Allah Almighty has concealed. But, revealing which is apparent such as being irascible or hasty is not considered as backbiting. But, slander is to attribute something to someone which is basically wrong [3]. 

The conditions to consider an act or a saying as backbiting

Not every act or saying about another person is backbiting. Backbiting is:

•    If someone talks about the apparent and obvious characteristics of another person, it won’t be backbiting anymore, unless he\she intends to mock and deride that person. Hence, revealing the hidden defects of someone else is considered as backbiting whatever the intention is, but, talking about the obvious defects is considered as backbiting if one aims to reproach;

•    When someone reveals the “defects” of someone else, but revealing the “strong points” of another person won’t be backbiting anymore;   

•    If the deficiency attributed to another person is unpleasant and blamed by everyone else;

•    If one aims to dishonour another person by revealing his\her defects;

•    And, if there is someone else who listens to or hears what is said about another person. It means that if one reviews someone’s defects by him\herself alone, it is not backbiting.

Backbiting is disapproved in Islam

Backbiting is so denounced in Islam that it is said: “Whoever dies while he had repented from backbiting, he\she will be the last who enters Heaven. And, whoever dies while have kept on backbiting, he\she will be the first who enters the Hell [4]! 

In another narration, backbiting is compared to leprosy disease. It is said that backbiting ruins one’s faith much faster than leprosy disease ruins his\her body [5]. In surat Hujurat it is said: “O you who have faith! ... do not spy on or backbite one another. Will any of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it. And be wary of Allah ...” (49:12).

Types of Backbiting

Backbiting is “mentioning” someone’s deficiency behind his\her back. Accordingly, the types of backbiting are:

•    By words: it is the most common type of backbiting. It means one “speaks” about another person’s defect;

•    By writing: if someone writes down the imperfection of someone else such that others can read it, too, the cartoons drawn to mock a personality or using someone’ pet phrase in order to make fun of him\her    ; 

•    By act: if one reveals other person’s defect to someone else by showing or imitating it;

•    By indirect words: like saying that “how lucky we are that we don’t have such  a stingy partner!”;

•    By gesture: like revealing one’s defect by a special movement of hand, head, eyes, etc. 

Now that we found out how much backbiting is disapproved in Islam and what it is consists of, we need to find out its consequences, the way to prevent ourselves or others from backbiting, etc. Follow us on the second part of this topic to find the answers.

[i] The Mi’raj refers to the materialistic journey of the prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) from Mecca to Jerusalem, and from there, to the skies and back home again. That was during this journey that he (PBUH & HP) saw heaven and hell. For more details see: https://www.islamquest.net/en/archive/fa6152

References:

1. Mirza Hussain Nouri, “Mustadrak al-Wasa’il”, vol. 9, p. 119.  
2. M. Naraqi, “Mi’raj al-Sa’sah”, p. 447.
3. Shaykh al-Kolayni, “al-Kafi”, vol. 2, No. 7.
4. Mulla M. Faydh Kashani, “Al-Mahajjat al-Baydha' ”, vol. 5, p.252.
5. Shaykh al-Kolayni, “al-Kafi”, vol. 2, No. 1.