Muslim Men and Women Shaking Hands in Islam
Imagine one of your ordinary days in which you go out in the morning to go to work or the university or anywhere else. You attend some gatherings. You see men and women around you interacting and greeting on different occasions and in various manners, more frequently shaking hands.
You are a member of this community too, and you also used to greet different people with whom you had interactions every day and perhaps it was not important for you if the person you shake hands with is a man or a woman. But now, as a Muslim, you must know that shaking hands in Islam with the opposite gender is forbidden. If this has raised a question in your mind, we will be discussing the issue here.
Psychological Views on Shaking Hands
As a scientific fact, everything we do, or we say, or any other kind of action we perform via every part of our body from legs up to the eyes, or even any thought passing into our minds has energy in itself. Once we bring something into existence, such as an utterance or an action, hence its specific kind of energy, it will never go to an end; but it is transformed and transferred to different targets, leaving its influence on them and first on ourselves.
Thus in our interactions, we are producing some kind of energy. So when people from the opposite genders confront each other and shake hands or kiss or hug each other, as a kind of greeting, what kind of energy is being interchanged between them?
The Main Reason Behind the Prohibition of Shaking Hands in Islam
God has put some kind of desire in human’s nature by which the opposite sexes are attracted to each other. When women and men who are non-Mahrams, greet each other in any way involving touching their bodies or looking at one another in such a way that arises this desire, they will be leaving a negative effect on each other; although it may feel pleasant.
Once this instinct is provoked, to satisfy their sensual needs, people may go further in their relationships and may be driven into immoral and sinful acts. The final result would be regret, distrust among people and broken families and other mental and physical consequences. Because in Islam’s viewpoint, sensual desires must only be satisfied among spouses. Due to this and some other reasons we might not know, God has set some rules regarding the quality of relationships between women and men. Following these rules will make concepts like marriage and family meaningful.
We Can Control Ourselves
One might say that we do not have any bad intentions in our relationships with those who are considered non-Mahram for us. We can control our desires when confronting them and nothing sinful happens. But the prophet Mohammad (PBUH) and his family who were the purest ones of all time obeyed these rules too.
They avoided any kind of interaction with non-Mahrams that are considered to be Haram.
When people came to the prophet for Bay’ah (to swear allegiance), he shook hands with men, and for women, a container of water was brought in which the prophet put his hand and took his hand out and then women put their hands in the water to make their pledge [2].
The Islamic Etiquette of Touching, Looking and Talking
A Muslim is only allowed to touch the body of those of the same gender and those of the opposite gender who are Mahram for him/her.
A man can only look at the face and hands of a non-mahram woman if they do not have decorations and on the condition that it is not for pleasure [i].
In the Quran, we read: “Say to the believers, that they cast down their eyes and guard their private parts… And say to the believing women, that they cast down their eyes and guard their private parts, and reveal not their adornment, save such as is outward…” (24:30-31). Non-Mahrams must be careful with their speaking, too. In another part of Quran, we read: “…be not abject in your speech, so that he in whose heart is sickness may be lustful, but speak honorable words.” (33:32). In these verses of the Holy Quran, the danger of arousing sexual desires through speaking and looking has been warned. However, there are no limits to touching, looking, and talking between spouses.
And some exceptions may occur. For example, if a doctor of the same gender is not available, one can go to a doctor from the opposite gender and touching and looking is permitted in this case. But only in case of necessity and as much as needed.
How to Avoid Shaking Hands in Islam with Non-mahrams
Most probably it will be hard for you to find an excuse to refuse to shake hands with non-mahrams especially those with whom you had usual interactions before. Because in your society this may result in a misunderstanding about your attitude toward people.
When a non-mahram wants to shake a hand with you, if you politely say that due to religious matters you can't shake hands but you are pleased to meet them, in most cases, they will accept it from you without being offended. This would be better rather than falsely mentioning illness and other things. But if you explained your reason honestly and someone reacted badly, you do not need to bother yourself convincing that person.
To conclude, shaking hands, kissing, hugging, and every other kind of greeting and interaction between non-Mahrams which involves touching and also looking at each other on purpose, and talking with each other in a tempting manner are Haram in Islam.
Notes:
[i] Refer to the article “The Islamic etiquette of looking” for more information.References:
- shakin hands in islam
- Mohammad ibn Jarir Tabari, “Tarikh-e Tabari,” vol.3, p.61-62.
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The Hurr within us
19 - Feb - 2021
210 Read
3 Min
The Holy Quran is replete with examples of men who stood for the truth and those who opposed it. The former sacrificed everything they had to defend the truth and the latter was ready to destroy everything around them to satiate their greed and selfishness.
The Book of Allah invites us to reflect upon personalities, nations, and events of the past. Whether it is pure men like Prophet Ibrahim (AS), Prophet Musa (AS) and Prophet Isa (AS) or evil men who opposed them and their mission like Nimrood, Firon (Pharoah), or Bani Israil, all of them have a lesson for us. These are not just stories to read and move on, they contain messages for our lives. And rightly so, we read in the Holy Quran:
"There is certainly a moral in their accounts for those who possess intellect. This [Quran] is not a fabricated discourse; rather, it is a confirmation of what was [revealed] before it, and an elaboration of all things, and a guidance and mercy for a people who have faith. (12:111)
Similarly, Imam Ali (AS) says: Learn lessons from past events for future events, because they are similar to one another. (Nahjul Balagha Letter 69)
One such incident of the past that changed the history of Islam forever, is the event of Karbala. No mention of Karbala is complete without Hurr ibn Yazid Ar-Riyahi. He is an example for those who reflect upon his journey, his actions and his martyrdom. He encourages, inspires and motivates the believers through his actions in Karbala.
Background
Hurr literally means a freeman in Arabic, and truly so he lived up to his name.
Hurr Ibn Yazid Ar-Riyahi was the general of the Ummayad army dispatched from Kufa, (Iraq) to intercept Imam Al-Hussain (AS), the third infallible Imam. Ubaydullah ibn Ziyad, the newly appointed governor of Kufa issued the command to guard all entrances and exits to Kufa in order to intercept al-Hussain for an oath of allegiance to Yazid. Hurr was ordered along with his 1,000 soldiers to intercept Imam Hussain(AS) and his followers before they reached Kufa.
When he intercepted Imam Hussain (AS) at Dhu Hussam, Hurr and his men had ran out of water. The Imam(AS) ordered his companions to satiate Hurr and his army, including the cavalry. Hurr and his men offered their prayers with the Imam and listened to his sermons. However, on subsequent orders from the tyrant governor of Kufa, Ubaidullah Ibn Ziyad, Imam Hussain and his family were forced to encamp in Karbala. Hurr was of the notion that the Imam (AS) will not be killed in Karbala, he would somehow persuade him to go elsewhere. But he was perturbed when he realized that Umar Ibn Sa'ad who was sent by Ubaidullah had come with orders to kill Imam Hussain. On one hand was his position, family and wealth and on the other hand was the grandson of the Holy Prophet(PBUH&HP) and the son of Imam Ali (AS) and Lady Fatima (SA), supporting whom meant a certain death. These were the two options left for Hurr, just as the Holy Quran says:
"Indeed We have guided him to the way, be he grateful or ungrateful." (76:3).
What do we learn from Hurr?
Despite all odds, Hurr left the Army of Yazid, joined Imam Hussain (AS) and won the honor of being the first martyr of Karbala. All the glitter of the world, his power, rank, wealth and children did not stop him from joining his master Hussain(AS).
Ashura and Karbala were not be bound by time or geographical location. Almost 14 centuries have passes by but human beings from different parts of the world, belonging to different races and religions continue to mourn for Imam Hussain(AS) and take inspiration from him and his mission.
Just as Karbala continues to inspire us, the magnanimous personality of Hurr continues to inspire and guide us. Hurr chose good over bad, truth over falsehood, hereafter over the transient world. If we claim to be followers and lovers of Imam Hussain(AS) we need to turn towards the Hussain of our time and follow the teachings of Imam Hussain(AS). Imam Hussain(AS) gave everything he had to protect and preserve the teachings of Islam and by helping Hussain(AS) in his cause, Hurr achieved this lofty position of being Imam Hussain's(AS) helper. Thus, if Hurr truly motivates us, we need to mend our ways and make ourselves capable of helping Imam Mahdi (AJ) the true inheritor of Imam Hussain's (AS) legacy.
The Hurr of Karbala teaches us that true love is incomplete without sacrifice.
But, is the Hurr inside us ready to listen?
References
- A Probe into the History of Ashura, Ibrahim Ayati
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40 Significant Imam Sadiq (AS) Quotes
18 - Feb - 2021
3,589 Read
5 Min
1. Observe Justice
If you observe justice about yourself, you will be trusted in judging others.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.2, p.146.
2. The time of Injustice and Treachery
At a time when you see nothing but injustice and treachery, trusting anyone (unheedingly) brings wretchedness.
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.357.
3. Constant Calamities
Following a calamity after another is the herald of liberation from them.
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.357.
4. Investing Your Trust
Do not invest your trust fully on your friend, since if you fail and lose everything because of dedicating all your love and trust to one person, you could hardly survive its disastrous outcomes.
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.357.
5. Islam, Faith, Assurance
Islam is the basis on which faith is founded, and then on faith, assurance is built. People hardly reach the last level, that is assurance.
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.358.
6. This World
Losing your heart to this world brings you pain and grief while being indifferent and pious to it brings peace to your heart and soul.
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.358.
7. Three Characteristics of a Believer
The believer finds righteousness in three characteristics: a deep understanding of the religion, avoiding excessiveness in life, and forbearing the hardships.
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.358.
8. Allah's Blessings
Allah bestows His blessings upon a group of people, and it is turned into burdens on them due to their ingratitude; yet, He inflicts others with calamities, and they turn into blessings due to their forbearance.
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.359.
9. How to Treat Your Family according to Imam Sadiq (AS)
Whoever does good to his family, Allah prolongs his life.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.8, p.219.
10. Making Friends
Meet and make friends with someone who elevates and honors you, not the one whose only purpose is to benefit from you and is pretentious.
Al-Hurr al-Amili, Wasa'il al-Shia, Vol.11, p.412.
11. Greetings
Saying hello is a recommended act (Mustahab) while responding to it is obligatory (Wajib).
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.360.
12. Be Resistant
Whoever manifests resistance at times of anger, greed, fear, and lust, Allah will protect his/her body against the fire of hell.
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.361.
13. Well-being
Well-being is a less valued blessing; it is forgotten when one is blessed with it, yet it will be reminded of as soon as it is gone.
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.361.
14. Comfort and Hardship
In comfort, Allah blesses you with His beneficence and excellence, and in hardship, the chance of purging [from your sins].
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.361.
15. Water
Do not pollute the water that people need.
Abu Ja'far Muhammad Ibn Hasan Tusi, Tahdhib al-Ahkam, vol.1, p.185.
16. Moderation
Allah loves moderation and hates wastefulness.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.4, p.52.
17. Wastefulness
The least act of wastefulness is throwing away the remaining of [food or drink].
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.6, p.460.
18. The Weather
If the weather were always bright and sunny, the earth would turn dry, and the plants would burn off the heat; the water in lakes and rivers would go down, and people would suffer; the weather would be hot and dry, and an unknown kind of sickness would emerge.
Mohammad-Baqer Majlesi, Bihar al-Anwar, vol.3, p.125.
19. Muslim Friends
Between two Muslim friends, the one that loves the other is the better one.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.3, p.193.
20.The Elderly and Children
Respect the elderly and be kind to the children.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.2, p.165.
21. A Joyful Life
Life is joyful with three things: clean air, plentiful and pure water, and a soft land [ready for planting].
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.320.
22.Washing Hands
Wash your hands before and after eating.
Ahmad b. Muhammad b. Khalid al-Barqi, Al-Mahasin, vol.1, p.425.
23. Be Careful About What You Wear
Do not wear clothes that attract much attention, neither clothes, which debases you.
Muhammadi Reyshahri, Mizan al-Hikma, hadith no. 18080.
24. Brush Your Teeth
Brushing teeth is among the manners of prophets.
Muhammadi Reyshahri, Mizan al-Hikma, hadith no. 9053.
25. On Expressing Your Opinions
Do not be the first person who expresses his/her opinion when asking for a consult and avoid suggesting naïve views.
Muhammadi Reyshahri, Mizan al-Hikma, hadith no. 9868.
26. Paying the Wages of a Worker
Pay the workers' wages before their sweats are dried [ i.e., right after they have finished their work].
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.5, p.289.
27. Manners toward Your Teacher
Be humble in the presence of the one from whom you learned a knowledge.
Abu Ja'far Muhammad Ibn Hasan Tusi, Tahdhib al-Ahkam, vol.2, p.36.
28. Justice in Imam Sadiq (AS)'s Words
Justice is more pleasant than the water, which is offered to a thirsty person.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.5, p.289.
29. A piece of Advice for Industrialists
Every industrialist has to master three characteristics for his/her work to flourish; he/she has to be expert in his/her job, has to be reliable and meet their superior managers' demands.
Mohammad-Baqer Majlesi, Bihar al-Anwar, vol.78, p.236.
30. People's Needs
People need three things; security, justice, and welfare.
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.320.
31. A Father's Best Legacy
A father's best legacy for his children is manners, not wealth.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.8, p.150.
32. Planning
Planning shapes half of your life.
Al-Shaykh al-Saduq, Al-Khisal, p.221.
33. Teenagers
Take care of teenagers since they are more open to absorbing goodness and virtues.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.8, p.93.
34. Books
There will be chaotic days when people would not find peace unless within their books.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.1, p.52.
35. Agriculture
Agriculture is a precious wealth.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.5, p.261.
36. Strengthening Ties
Strengthen your ties with each other, be kind and generous to each other.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.2, p.175.
37. Help Each other
Any believer who solves another believer's problem, Allah will lift seventy of his/her difficulties in this world and the hereafter.
Mirza Husayn Nuri, Mustadrak al-wasa'il, vol.12, p.413.
38. Fruit Trees
Do not cut fruit trees, or you will be inflicted with Allah's torment.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.5, p.294.
39. The Best Friend
My favorite friend is the one who bestows me my faults.
Ibn Shu’bah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.366.
40. Earn Halal Income
Whoever wishes his/her prayers to be granted, should strive to earn Halal income.
Mohammad-Baqer Majlesi, Bihar al-Anwar, vol.93, p.373.
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