Imagine one of your ordinary days in which you go out in the morning to go to work or the university or anywhere else. You attend some gatherings. You see men and women around you interacting and greeting on different occasions and in various manners, more frequently shaking hands.
You are a member of this community too, and you also used to greet different people with whom you had interactions every day and perhaps it was not important for you if the person you shake hands with is a man or a woman. But now, as a Muslim, you must know that shaking hands in Islam with the opposite gender is forbidden. If this has raised a question in your mind, we will be discussing the issue here.
As a scientific fact, everything we do, or we say, or any other kind of action we perform via every part of our body from legs up to the eyes, or even any thought passing into our minds has energy in itself. Once we bring something into existence, such as an utterance or an action, hence its specific kind of energy, it will never go to an end; but it is transformed and transferred to different targets, leaving its influence on them and first on ourselves.
Thus in our interactions, we are producing some kind of energy. So when people from the opposite genders confront each other and shake hands or kiss or hug each other, as a kind of greeting, what kind of energy is being interchanged between them?
God has put some kind of desire in human’s nature by which the opposite sexes are attracted to each other. When women and men who are non-Mahrams, greet each other in any way involving touching their bodies or looking at one another in such a way that arises this desire, they will be leaving a negative effect on each other; although it may feel pleasant.
Once this instinct is provoked, to satisfy their sensual needs, people may go further in their relationships and may be driven into immoral and sinful acts. The final result would be regret, distrust among people and broken families and other mental and physical consequences. Because in Islam’s viewpoint, sensual desires must only be satisfied among spouses. Due to this and some other reasons we might not know, God has set some rules regarding the quality of relationships between women and men. Following these rules will make concepts like marriage and family meaningful.
One might say that we do not have any bad intentions in our relationships with those who are considered non-Mahram for us. We can control our desires when confronting them and nothing sinful happens. But the prophet Mohammad (PBUH) and his family who were the purest ones of all time obeyed these rules too.
They avoided any kind of interaction with non-Mahrams that are considered to be Haram.
When people came to the prophet for Bay’ah (to swear allegiance), he shook hands with men, and for women, a container of water was brought in which the prophet put his hand and took his hand out and then women put their hands in the water to make their pledge [2].
A Muslim is only allowed to touch the body of those of the same gender and those of the opposite gender who are Mahram for him/her.
A man can only look at the face and hands of a non-mahram woman if they do not have decorations and on the condition that it is not for pleasure [i].
In the Quran, we read: “Say to the believers, that they cast down their eyes and guard their private parts… And say to the believing women, that they cast down their eyes and guard their private parts, and reveal not their adornment, save such as is outward…” (24:30-31). Non-Mahrams must be careful with their speaking, too. In another part of Quran, we read: “…be not abject in your speech, so that he in whose heart is sickness may be lustful, but speak honorable words.” (33:32). In these verses of the Holy Quran, the danger of arousing sexual desires through speaking and looking has been warned. However, there are no limits to touching, looking, and talking between spouses.
And some exceptions may occur. For example, if a doctor of the same gender is not available, one can go to a doctor from the opposite gender and touching and looking is permitted in this case. But only in case of necessity and as much as needed.
Most probably it will be hard for you to find an excuse to refuse to shake hands with non-mahrams especially those with whom you had usual interactions before. Because in your society this may result in a misunderstanding about your attitude toward people.
When a non-mahram wants to shake a hand with you, if you politely say that due to religious matters you can't shake hands but you are pleased to meet them, in most cases, they will accept it from you without being offended. This would be better rather than falsely mentioning illness and other things. But if you explained your reason honestly and someone reacted badly, you do not need to bother yourself convincing that person.
To conclude, shaking hands, kissing, hugging, and every other kind of greeting and interaction between non-Mahrams which involves touching and also looking at each other on purpose, and talking with each other in a tempting manner are Haram in Islam.
Notes:
[i] Refer to the article “The Islamic etiquette of looking” for more information.References:
- shakin hands in islam
- Mohammad ibn Jarir Tabari, “Tarikh-e Tabari,” vol.3, p.61-62.
The aim of my revolution is to reform the society and revive the true teachings of Islam
(Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.243)
If you don’t believe in any religion, at least be free-spirited and honest in your actions
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 45, P. 51)
I never revolted in vain, as a rebel or as a tyrant; rather, I rose seeking reformation for the nation of Islam
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 44, P. 329)
On the Day of Ashura, he addressed his companions:
“Be patient, you noble ones. Death is only a bridge which takes you from misery and loss to the vast Paradise and the eternal graces”.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 44, P. 297)
O’ people! Listen to my words and don’t hasten to start a war, so that I clarify the reason behind my revolution
(al-Shaykh al-Mufid, al-Irshad, p.253)
On the night of Ashura, he gathered his followers in his tent, put out the light and said:
“Beware that I give you permission to leave this place; there is no obligation on you anymore, and you can all leave.”
However, not even one of them left his side….
(al-Shaykh al-Mufid, al-Irshad, p. 250)
joBe steadfast and firm in the way toward what is right, even if your journey is full of pain and challenges.
(Usul al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 28)
Death with dignity is better than a life of abasement.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 44, P. 192)
By God, I will never surrender to my enemies like a humiliated person and never pledge allegiance to them like slaves
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 45, P. 7)
To me, death for the sake of what is right, is nothing but happiness, and living under tyrants nothing but living in a hell
(Tuhaf-al- Uqoul, P. 245)
The most incapable person is the one who can’t pray.
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol.81, p.257)
The most generous person is the one who gives to those who do not expect his help.
(Kashf al-ghumma, vol.2, p.30)
Try to compete with one another in good deeds and hurry to seize the opportunities, and forget the good deeds that you haven’t hastened to do.
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol.57, p.121)
People are slaves of this world. Religion is just what they say. They use it as long as it provides them with their living. When they are tested, there remain only a few true religious ones.
(Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.245)
If you worship Allah the way He deserves to be worshipped, He will fulfill all your wishes, and bless you much more than what you deserve.
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 68, p.184)
God will help the person who cares about other people’s needs, both in this world and the hereafter.
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol.75, p.121)
17. Having Faith in Allah
O’ Allah! What has gained the one who has not found You, and what has lost the one who has found You?
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol.95, p.226)
Avoid oppressing the one who does not have any supporter against you, other than the Almighty God.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 78, P. 118)
When Allah chooses to favor someone, makes him/her the source of satisfying other people's needs.
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol.74, p.205.)
Beware! Do not be among those who are concerned about the sins of others while neglectful of their own sins.
(al-Kafi, vol.8, p.49, Hadith #9)
One who reveals your faults to you like a mirror is your true friend, and one who flatters you and covers up your faults is your enemy.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 78, P. 128)
Whoever seeks the satisfaction of people through disobedience of Allah; Then Allah subjects him to people.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 78, P. 126)
Wisdom will not be gained, unless through following the right path.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 78, P. 127)
Say what you like to be said about you, in the absence of your fellow believer.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 127)
Avoid doing things that would make you apologize; since a believer won’t commit a wrong action that would make him/her sorry.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 120)
If you lead your actions through committing sins and disobeying Allah, your intentions won’t be fulfilled and will be caught in what you fear most.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 120)
Kindness elevates human beings, and faithfulness is the sign of decency.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 122)
Extremism is like going down in a swamp, and keeping company with abject and corrupt ones will bring evil and misery for you.
(Kashf al-ghumma, vol.2, p.30)
29. Knowledge
Seeking knowledge will lead you toward wisdom and elevation.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 128)
Visiting relatives and keeping in touch with them will bring you a longer and more substantial life.
(Al-Shaykh al-Saduq, Oyoun Akhbar Al-Ridha, vol.2, p.44)
The most generous person is the one who forgives while in power.
(Kashf al-ghumma, vol.2, p.29)
The best way of maintaining family ties is through visiting the ones who have cut ties with you and haven’t visited you for a while.
(Kashf al-ghumma, vol.2, p.29)
Whoever helps his/her fellow in religion for the sake of Allah, He will compensate for him/her and eliminate the hardships from his/her life. Also, whoever relieves a believer’s grief, Allah will free him/her of his/her pains and sufferings in this world and the other world.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 121)
Only trust those who believe in Allah and are afraid of His questioning on the Day of Judgement.
(Al-Shaykh al-Saduq, Jameh al- Akhbar, p.97)
While on his way to Karbala, Imam Hussain (AS) said: “I cannot have whoever owes a debt in my company. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) used to say: ‘whoever dies while owing to other people, his/her good deeds will be void in the hereafter.’”
(Kalimat al-Imam al-Hussain (AS) (Words of Imam Hussain), p.417)
Gain people’s praise with your efforts and successes, and do not expose yourself to people’s blames through laziness and lethargy.
(Kashf al-ghumma, vol.2, p.29)
Long and numerous experiences strengthens your mind.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 128)
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 78, P. 119)
Do not say something which would undermine your self-worth.
(Muhammad Baqer al-Majlisi, Jala’a al-Oyoun, vol.2, p.205)
Observe your physical health in your lifetime.
(Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.239)
Allah (SWT) has created human beings the way that we are all associated with one another. We live in a society where none of us can live isolated lives and each one of us depends on the other for love, compassion, caring and even fulfilling our materialistic needs. Every day of our lives, we strive to each other’s needs and requirements. Apart from our intertwined social structure, at times, one of our family members, friends or colleagues needs money for their house rent or treatment of a disease, or requires a recommendation to attain someone’s assistance or just requires our emotional support to tide them through difficult times. These difficulties are not just a test for those suffering it, but also for those around them. We are tested with our response to fulfilling one’s needs. What were our efforts in alleviating a person’s need? Could we have helped him? How much did we help them? Sometimes, what a person needs is just a warm hug and a shoulder to cry on, did we become one for the needy person?
The recommendations and rewards related to fulfilling the needs of the people have been emphasized in such great measure that one is left amazed that despite this great path available to attaining success in the hereafter, how very few of us make the best of it.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) says: “Anyone who wants Allah to enter him into His mercy and make him dwell in His paradise, he must beautify his conduct, be fair with people in his relationships, be merciful to the orphans, help the weak, and humble himself before Allah, his Creator.” [1]
The Holy Quran says about Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP): We did not send you but as a mercy to all the nations. (21:107)
The Holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) was not just sent as a mercy to Muslims but to all of humanity and similarly the goodness and benevolence that are recommended for Muslims are not just limited to themselves but for every human being. Imam Ali (AS), the first rightful successor to the Holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) - when became the Caliph of the Muslim Ummah- he wrote in his letter to Malik Al-Ashtar, when the latter was appointed as the governor of Egypt: “Habituate your heart to mercy for the subjects and affection and kindness for people. Do not govern them like they are just greedy beasts and just in need of devouring, since they are of two kinds, either your brother in religion or one like you in creation.”
In the same letter he further advised Malik Al-Ashtar with the following words: “(Fear) Allah and keep Allah in view; in respect of the lowest class consisting of those who have few means: the poor, the destitute, the penniless and the disabled; because in this class are both the self- contained needy? And those who beg. Take care for the sake of Allah of His obligations towards them for which He has made you responsible. Fix for them a share from the public funds and a share from the crops of lands taken over as booty for Islam in every region, because in it the remote ones have the same shares as the near ones do. All these people are those whose rights have been placed in your charge. Therefore, a luxurious life should not keep you away from them. You cannot be excused for ignoring small matters because you were making decision for bigger problems. Consequently, do not be unmindful of them, nor turn your face from them out of vanity.” [2]
As the Caliph of the Muslim Ummah, one day Imam Ali (AS) saw an old blind man who was extremely troubled by his condition, begging for alms. Imam (AS) enquired about the man’s family and on investigating, found that he was a Christian by faith, and had earned his living through hard labour until he had lost his eyesight because of age. He was on his own and had no one to care for him. He had also not saved any money because of meagre earnings. When confirmed that he had never begged while he could earn, Imam Ali AS) said, ‘It is wondrous how you people use a human being for as long as he can serve you and discard him after he cannot. You all testify that he served society as long as he could see. It is, therefore, the duty of society and government to ensure him a decent life, now that he cannot fend for himself. I hereby institute a regular allowance to be paid to him from the State Treasury for as long as he lives.’ [3] Similarly, Imam Sadiq (AS), the sixth Shi’ite Imam was once travelling with his helper, Musadaff between Mecca and Medina. On the way, they saw a man lying under a tree. Imam (AS) said: “Let’s go and see if he requires any help, it’s possible he has fainted due to dehydration.” When they went near him, they realised he was thirsty, so they immediately gave him some water and helped him sit up. After they had helped the man and made him feel better, they left the place. On the way, Musaddaf asked Imam (AS), “O, dear Imam, from his appearance, it was clear that the man is a Christian. Could we help Christians and give them alms?’ Imam Sadiq (AS) replied: ‘Yes, especially when they are in need, just as it was right now. [4]
Islam is a universal religion which has been presented to guide and serve humanity. Thus, we see that Muslims almost all over the world strive to serve fellow human beings, irrespective of their faiths. The Corona pandemic was a tragedy that called for human cooperation, empathy and brotherhood and Muslims throughout the world played a significant role in treating the sick, helping their family members cope with the tragedy and also made financial arrangements for the needy. Throughout Europe, Muslims made noteworthy philanthropic contributions to their respective communities and countries amid public health crisis. From Germany to the United Kingdom, European Muslims have coordinated relief efforts for their compatriots as a whole and not just for their coreligionists. Despite constant propaganda against Muslims and Islam, in particular, being a violent and hate-filled religion, such acts of charity and brotherhood seek to spread the true teachings of Islam through their deeds.
References:
1. al islam
2. al islam
3. al islam
4. american muslim