Every day of our lives is filled with the moments in which we long for an anchor to whom we could rest our hopes. As Muslims, having hope in Allah is our way of dealing with such moments. Each one of us faces many issues, be it related to our financial status, problems at work, family, or any other social or personal challenge. Our friends and the ones around us might try to soothe us, giving us some hope and helping us not to give up and stand aside. Sometimes you might hear words like “Never lose your faith in God” or “Allah helps the ones who help themselves” or even “God knows that you have tried.” These words may help you at that moment and move your emotions from distress to hope. But is this a long-run solution? Are we supposed to have hope in Allah? Is that possible, with all the problems and the difficulties of modern life? 

What is Hope? 

The American Heritage defines the word hope as to wish for a particular event to happen. It also gives an archaic definition as to have confidence; to Trust” [1]. As the meaning suggests, it refers to having a positive outlook toward future events. Also, it presents trust and confidence in the one who makes everything come true with his will power. 

What Does the Quran Say about Hope in Allah?

The Holy Quran insists on the fact that the believers must never lose hope in the Mercy of Allah: 

"Say [that Allah declares,] ‘O My servants who have committed excesses against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed Allah will forgive all sins. Indeed, He is the All-forgiving, the All-merciful." Quran (39:53)

It gives many examples of the state of the ones who were on the verge of giving up when Allah assisted them in some way. One of those examples is about Jacob, who was waiting for his dear son, Joseph, for many years. No one could even think that he might find his lost son again. When his sons went to Egypt to meet the king for the second time and saw what has befallen on their other brother Benjamin, Jacob advised them and said: “Go, my sons, and look for Joseph and his brother, and do not despair of Allah’s mercy. Indeed no one despairs of Allah’s mercy except the faithless lot.” Quran (12:87)

How Does Allah Help His Servents?

He has all the power and strength to do whatever He wishes to do, that’s for sure. He has invited and asked the believers to have faith in His Power, assistance, mercy, forgiveness, satisfaction, bounty, etc. All that he is trying to convey is that we must be hopeful because we have Allah on our side. The Quran gives us another example, the very first Muslims who emigrated to Medina with Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP), hoping for Allah to help them. Almighty Allah says that the money donated to Islam belongs to the poor, the needy, and the emigrants who left their houses to support their own prophet:

“The spoils that Allah gave to His Apostle from the people of the townships are for Allah and the Apostle, the relatives, and the orphans, the needy and the traveler so that they do not circulate among the rich among you. Take whatever the Apostle gives you, and refrain from whatever he forbids you, and be wary of Allah. Indeed, Allah is severe in retribution. [They are also] for the poor Emigrants who have been expelled from their homes and [wrested of] their possessions, who seek grace from Allah and [His] pleasure and help Allah and His Apostle. It is they who are truthful.” Quran (59:7-8) 

Furthermore, He insists on the fact that he forgives the sins of those who repent, calling himself Forgiving 91 times in the Quran [2]. His Forgiveness and Mercy are higher than any other creature, great enough to be on our side whenever we call Him wholeheartedly. 

To conclude, one must remember the fact that no human and non-human power, wish, desire, etc. is higher than that of Allah. He asks all his creatures to believe in Him and rely on his willpower. So why should we doubt? Having hope in Allah can turn us into optimistic individuals who are proven to be more productive in their daily life, physically and mentally healthier, and more flexible in hard times and situations [3]. 

References:

 

1.   American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2016 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company.
2.  Subhani, Jafar The Eternal Prism , Pp 307-308 at
3. Conversano, C., Rotondo, A., Lensi, E., Della Vista, O., Arpone, F., & Reda, M. A. (2010). Optimism and its impact on mental and physical well-being. Clinical practice and epidemiology in mental health: CP & EMH, 6, 25–29. 
    

Imagine one of your ordinary days in which you go out in the morning to go to work or the university or anywhere else. You attend some gatherings. You see men and women around you interacting and greeting on different occasions and in various manners, more frequently shaking hands.

You are a member of this community too, and you also used to greet different people with whom you had interactions every day and perhaps it was not important for you if the person you shake hands with is a man or a woman. But now, as a Muslim, you must know that shaking hands in Islam with the opposite gender is forbidden. If this has raised a question in your mind, we will be discussing the issue here.

Psychological Views on Shaking Hands

As a scientific fact, everything we do, or we say, or any other kind of action we perform via every part of our body from legs up to the eyes, or even any thought passing into our minds has energy in itself. Once we bring something into existence, such as an utterance or an action, hence its specific kind of energy, it will never go to an end; but it is transformed and transferred to different targets, leaving its influence on them and first on ourselves.

Thus in our interactions, we are producing some kind of energy. So when people from the opposite genders confront each other and shake hands or kiss or hug each other, as a kind of greeting, what kind of energy is being interchanged between them?  

The Main Reason Behind the Prohibition of Shaking Hands in Islam

God has put some kind of desire in human’s nature by which the opposite sexes are attracted to each other. When women and men who are non-Mahrams, greet each other in any way involving touching their bodies or looking at one another in such a way that arises this desire, they will be leaving a negative effect on each other; although it may feel pleasant.

Once this instinct is provoked, to satisfy their sensual needs, people may go further in their relationships and may be driven into immoral and sinful acts. The final result would be regret, distrust among people and broken families and other mental and physical consequences. Because in Islam’s viewpoint, sensual desires must only be satisfied among spouses. Due to this and some other reasons we might not know, God has set some rules regarding the quality of relationships between women and men. Following these rules will make concepts like marriage and family meaningful.

We Can Control Ourselves

One might say that we do not have any bad intentions in our relationships with those who are considered non-Mahram for us. We can control our desires when confronting them and nothing sinful happens. But the prophet Mohammad (PBUH) and his family who were the purest ones of all time obeyed these rules too.

They avoided any kind of interaction with non-Mahrams that are considered to be Haram. 
When people came to the prophet for Bay’ah (to swear allegiance), he shook hands with men, and for women, a container of water was brought in which the prophet put his hand and took his hand out and then women put their hands in the water to make their pledge [2]. 

The Islamic Etiquette of Touching, Looking and Talking

A Muslim is only allowed to touch the body of those of the same gender and those of the opposite gender who are Mahram for him/her.
A man can only look at the face and hands of a non-mahram woman if they do not have decorations and on the condition that it is not for pleasure [i]. 

In the Quran, we read: “Say to the believers, that they cast down their eyes and guard their private parts… And say to the believing women, that they cast down their eyes and guard their private parts, and reveal not their adornment, save such as is outward…” (24:30-31). Non-Mahrams must be careful with their speaking, too. In another part of Quran, we read: “…be not abject in your speech, so that he in whose heart is sickness may be lustful, but speak honorable words.” (33:32). In these verses of the Holy Quran, the danger of arousing sexual desires through speaking and looking has been warned. However, there are no limits to touching, looking, and talking between spouses.

And some exceptions may occur. For example, if a doctor of the same gender is not available, one can go to a doctor from the opposite gender and touching and looking is permitted in this case. But only in case of necessity and as much as needed.

How to Avoid Shaking Hands in Islam with Non-mahrams

Most probably it will be hard for you to find an excuse to refuse to shake hands with non-mahrams especially those with whom you had usual interactions before. Because in your society this may result in a misunderstanding about your attitude toward people.

When a non-mahram wants to shake a hand with you, if you politely say that due to religious matters you can't shake hands but you are pleased to meet them, in most cases, they will accept it from you without being offended. This would be better rather than falsely mentioning illness and other things. But if you explained your reason honestly and someone reacted badly, you do not need to bother yourself convincing that person.

To conclude, shaking hands, kissing, hugging, and every other kind of greeting and interaction between non-Mahrams which involves touching and also looking at each other on purpose, and talking with each other in a tempting manner are Haram in Islam.

Notes:
[i] Refer to the article “The Islamic etiquette of looking” for more information.                     

References: 

1. shakin hands in islam
2. Mohammad ibn Jarir Tabari, “Tarikh-e Tabari,” vol.3, p.61-62.