A feature that is being propagated by different types of media about Muslims and Islam is an angry and aggressive face. This is while Islam has a lot of direct commands and recommendations about controlling anger and being good-tempered. A narration from Imam Sadiq (AS) defines good-temper very well: “Good temper is to soften your attitude and clear your speech and meet your brother with kindness.” [1]

In this text, we will study the viewpoint of Islam on being good-tempered.

Direct recommendations from the Quran

There are many verses of the Quran that teaches us how to interact with others. The Prophet of Islam (PBUH&HP) was sent as a role model: 
“There is certainly a good exemplar for you in the Apostle of Allah—for those who look forward to Allah and the Last Day and remember Allah much.” (33:21) 

This exemplar is defined in different verses of the Quran, not only by admiring the number of his prayers but with his excellent manners. Allah admires his apostle by saying: 

“And indeed, you possess a great character.” (68: 4)

Therefore, when Allah tells us: 

“Obey Allah and the Apostle so that you may be granted [His] mercy” (3: 132), He means that by following the characteristics of the Prophet (PBUH&HP), one can achieve success and prosperity. One of his most important features was his good-temper. 

The effects of being good tempered on achieving success

One may think that many people are not good-tempered and yet have very successful lives. However, the Quran introduces being soft and kind to people as a means of reaching goals. 
Almighty Allah says to His Apostle: 

“It is by Allah’s mercy that you are gentle to them; had you been harsh and hardhearted, they would have surely scattered from around you. So excuse them and plead for forgiveness for them, and consult them in the affairs, and once you are resolved, put your trust in Allah. Indeed Allah loves those who trust in Him.” (3: 159)

As it is mentioned in the above verse, Allah introduces being good-mannered and good-tempered as the essential element that made the Prophet (PBUH&HP) successful in guiding people. Also, some of the features of a good-tempered person are mentioned in this verse:

1.To be forgiving towards people’s faults and mistakes in our social or family life (Excuse them). 

2.To ask Allah to forgive other people for their sins and mistakes (plead for forgiveness for them). Having this manner helps us feel real compassion towards others, and therefore, it allows us to interact with them with kindness and a good temper. 

3. To give credit and respect to other people by asking their ideas even if we know better than they do (consult them in the affairs). 
Imagine that if in our daily life, we try to consider these three crucial hints, how peaceful our life will become, and how influential we can become in our relations and communications.

To Whom should we be good tempered?

Should we be soft and gentle to everyone? Or are there groups of people to whom we should be harsh and demanding? 

Two verses in the Quran explain how Muslims should behave towards different groups of people. This verse of the Quran: “Muhammad, the Apostle of Allah, and those who are with him are hard against the faithless and merciful amongst themselves,” (48: 29) indicates that Muslims should be kind and merciful to other Muslims and harsh on those who deny the existence of Allah and the hereafter. However, when Allah orders prophet Moses (PBUH) and Aaron to go to Pharaoh to invite him to monotheism, He orders them: 

“Both of you go to Pharaoh, for he has indeed rebelled. Speak to him in a gentle manner; maybe he will take admonition or fear.” (20: 43-44)

 Again, in this verse, Allah introduces the importance of soft and gentle speech as an essential means of reaching goals.

 The effects of being good tempered in our life

Experience shows that by being good-tempered, one can become popular among others and can make his/her own life as well as others peaceful. 
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) says: 

"being good-tempered sustains friendship.” [2]

Imam Al-Sadiq (AS) says: 

“Charity and being good-tempered flourish lands and increase lifetime.” [3]

And in the words of Imam Ali (AS): 

“The treasures of the provision are in being good-tempered and affability.” [4]

These verses of the Quran clearly show that if people wish to have a good life in this world and the hereafter, they need to work on themselves to control their anger and to be good-tempered in their relationships.  

References:

1. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 68, p. 389
2. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 389
3. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 395
4. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 75, p. 53
    

In the two previous parts of the solutions to depression, we introduced some of the recommendations on how to avoid anxiety and stress in Islam. Those examples included both spiritual and material advice. And they show that Islam considers the existence of human beings as a whole. That is why Islam has forbidden the unlawful (Haram) “temporary solutions” of relieving stress and emotions (like starting a dangerous relationship or spending the time in bars, etc.). Since in those cases, one usually gets nothing for what he\she spends.

Avoid Whatever Damages the Mind and Soul

Many people try to keep up with the newest standards of body hygiene to prevent various diseases. The same should be done for the mental hygiene. Much effort is needed to have a healthy soul and prevent disorders like depression, anxiety, stress in Islam, etc.

Some approaches to reduce depression act like an immediate treatment. The problem with those solutions is that they give a good feeling at the beginning. It normally does not last long and later on results in adverse effects. So, one should avoid whatever undermines the consciousness or causes deeper depression. These are:

All the Intoxicant:

Whatever destroys one’s mind and deprives him of the ability to thinking and reason is a sort of intoxicant, then, must be abandoned [1];

Drinking Alcoholic Beverages

Alcohol is harmful and adversely affects the mind and the body. Imam Reza (AS) said that God has prohibited drinking alcoholic beverages since they contaminate the mind [2];

An Ignorant Companion

 Spending a lot of time with such a person will destroy the wisdom [3] and misleads whoever he/she interacts with;

Overeating

Eating too much will degenerate one’s mind and weaken the thinking power [4,5]. According to Islamic teachings, overeating turns one to a weak-willed, sleepy, stupid person [6];

Idleness and Inaction

 Wasting time and doing nothing in life corrupt the mind [7];

Joking and Laughing Excessively

Making jokes and laughing too much causes one to seem stupid [7].

Moreover, anything that causes one to forget God and weakens one’s faith acts like a poison that darkens one’s soul:

Assuming to Have a Long Life

The one who thinks that will live a long life and forget about his/her death insists on his/her mistakes and cannot catch up. Since he/she supposes that there are still many chances to compensate. This clouds his/her heart and soul [8];

Useless Conversations

Vain conversations and hostility with others will weaken the soul [9];

Owning vast fortune such that the owner becomes too busy with them and forgets about God and his\her religious duties

Having such great wealth can harden the heart [10];

Keep on Doing Sins

Whoever does a sin several times and repents each time but does not stop committing that sin, is known to mock God [11]. It is also said that repeated sins seal and kill the heart [12];

Associating with Those Who Have Gone Astray

To spend time with those who are lost in their lives and oppose the divine guidelines, will mislead one to the wrong path [9]. 

Not Keeping the Gaze Down

Looking freely at any scene and anybody, especially non-Mahrams, causes anxiety and inquietude. Looking at a beautiful flower, for example, might take only some seconds but its smell and beauty stays in our mind longer. The same thing happens when looking at another person; especially due to the emotional impacts that men and women have on each other.

Staring at a non-Mahram will busy one’s mind with different thoughts for some time. It might also stimulate his/her feelings. Repeating these looks will cause one to get distracted and lose control in his/her mind. Also, it disturbs his/her inner peace and causes mental problems [13]. That is why Imam Ali (AS) said: “Whoever keeps the gaze down, relieves” [14].

References:

1. M. al-Kulaynī, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 6, p. 412.
2. S. H. al-Amili, “Wasail al-Shia”, vol. 25, p. 329.
3. Karajaki, “Kanzul Fawaid”, vol. 1, p. 199.
4. H. T. Nuri Ṭabarsi, “Mustadrak al-Wasail”, vol. 16, p. 458.
5. M. B. Majlesi, “Bihar al-Anwar”, vol. 63, p. 72.
6. N. Makarem Shirazi, “Tafsir Nemooneh”, vol. 6, p. 153.
7. “Ghurar al-Hikam wa Durar al-Kalim”, p. 222.
8. Ibn Babawayh, “Man la yahduruhu al-Faqih”, vol.4, p. 366.
9. Ibn Babawayh, “Al-Khisal”, p. 228.
10. M. al-Kulaynī, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 2, p. 300.
11. M. al-Kulaynī, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 4, p. 168.
12. Sheikh al-Mufid, “Al-Amali”, p. 83.
13. stress in islam
14. M. Reyshahri, "Mizan al-Hikma," T. 6141".