Imagine one of your ordinary days in which you go out in the morning to go to work or the university or anywhere else. You attend some gatherings. You see men and women around you interacting and greeting on different occasions and in various manners, more frequently shaking hands.

You are a member of this community too, and you also used to greet different people with whom you had interactions every day and perhaps it was not important for you if the person you shake hands with is a man or a woman. But now, as a Muslim, you must know that shaking hands in Islam with the opposite gender is forbidden. If this has raised a question in your mind, we will be discussing the issue here.

Psychological Views on Shaking Hands

As a scientific fact, everything we do, or we say, or any other kind of action we perform via every part of our body from legs up to the eyes, or even any thought passing into our minds has energy in itself. Once we bring something into existence, such as an utterance or an action, hence its specific kind of energy, it will never go to an end; but it is transformed and transferred to different targets, leaving its influence on them and first on ourselves.

Thus in our interactions, we are producing some kind of energy. So when people from the opposite genders confront each other and shake hands or kiss or hug each other, as a kind of greeting, what kind of energy is being interchanged between them?  

The Main Reason Behind the Prohibition of Shaking Hands in Islam

God has put some kind of desire in human’s nature by which the opposite sexes are attracted to each other. When women and men who are non-Mahrams, greet each other in any way involving touching their bodies or looking at one another in such a way that arises this desire, they will be leaving a negative effect on each other; although it may feel pleasant.

Once this instinct is provoked, to satisfy their sensual needs, people may go further in their relationships and may be driven into immoral and sinful acts. The final result would be regret, distrust among people and broken families and other mental and physical consequences. Because in Islam’s viewpoint, sensual desires must only be satisfied among spouses. Due to this and some other reasons we might not know, God has set some rules regarding the quality of relationships between women and men. Following these rules will make concepts like marriage and family meaningful.

We Can Control Ourselves

One might say that we do not have any bad intentions in our relationships with those who are considered non-Mahram for us. We can control our desires when confronting them and nothing sinful happens. But the prophet Mohammad (PBUH) and his family who were the purest ones of all time obeyed these rules too.

They avoided any kind of interaction with non-Mahrams that are considered to be Haram. 
When people came to the prophet for Bay’ah (to swear allegiance), he shook hands with men, and for women, a container of water was brought in which the prophet put his hand and took his hand out and then women put their hands in the water to make their pledge [2]. 

The Islamic Etiquette of Touching, Looking and Talking

A Muslim is only allowed to touch the body of those of the same gender and those of the opposite gender who are Mahram for him/her.
A man can only look at the face and hands of a non-mahram woman if they do not have decorations and on the condition that it is not for pleasure [i]. 

In the Quran, we read: “Say to the believers, that they cast down their eyes and guard their private parts… And say to the believing women, that they cast down their eyes and guard their private parts, and reveal not their adornment, save such as is outward…” (24:30-31). Non-Mahrams must be careful with their speaking, too. In another part of Quran, we read: “…be not abject in your speech, so that he in whose heart is sickness may be lustful, but speak honorable words.” (33:32). In these verses of the Holy Quran, the danger of arousing sexual desires through speaking and looking has been warned. However, there are no limits to touching, looking, and talking between spouses.

And some exceptions may occur. For example, if a doctor of the same gender is not available, one can go to a doctor from the opposite gender and touching and looking is permitted in this case. But only in case of necessity and as much as needed.

How to Avoid Shaking Hands in Islam with Non-mahrams

Most probably it will be hard for you to find an excuse to refuse to shake hands with non-mahrams especially those with whom you had usual interactions before. Because in your society this may result in a misunderstanding about your attitude toward people.

When a non-mahram wants to shake a hand with you, if you politely say that due to religious matters you can't shake hands but you are pleased to meet them, in most cases, they will accept it from you without being offended. This would be better rather than falsely mentioning illness and other things. But if you explained your reason honestly and someone reacted badly, you do not need to bother yourself convincing that person.

To conclude, shaking hands, kissing, hugging, and every other kind of greeting and interaction between non-Mahrams which involves touching and also looking at each other on purpose, and talking with each other in a tempting manner are Haram in Islam.

Notes:
[i] Refer to the article “The Islamic etiquette of looking” for more information.                     

References: 

1. shakin hands in islam
2. Mohammad ibn Jarir Tabari, “Tarikh-e Tabari,” vol.3, p.61-62. 

Arbaeen pilgrimage is one of the most important ceremonies in Shia culture in which people come to Karbala for visiting the holy shrine of Imam Hussain (AS) and commemorating his sacrifice. Actually, Arbaeen pilgrimage is an exhibition of Shias’ lifestyle and because of that, Shia Imams pointed out the importance of Arbaeen pilgrimage many times.  

Arbaeen Pilgrimage in Hadiths

There are many hadiths quoted from our Imams about the significance of visiting the shrine of Imam Hussain (AS) and also about the rewards that Allah Almighty blesses the pilgrims with:
Imam Baqir (AS) said:

If the people knew about the profusion of Allah’s rewards to the pilgrims of Imam Hussain (AS), they would die due to their excitement and enthusiasm (1)

Imam Sadiq (AS) said:
If a person went to the shrine of Imam Hussain (AS), Allah will reward him as He rewards him for a Hajj plus an Umrah (another kind of the pilgrimage of Ka’bah) (2)

He (AS) also said:

Anyone who wants the Paradise to be their abode and refuge, they must not forget about visiting the grave of the Oppressed [means Imam Hussain (AS)] (3)

There are also hadiths which say we must visit the shrine of Imam Hussain (AS) on Arbaeen day:
Imam Hassan al-Askari (AS), the Eleventh Imam, says:

The signs of faith are five: praying 51 Rak’ats during the day, the pilgrimage of Arbaeen, putting ring on the right hand, putting frontal on dirt (during Sajdah), and saying “Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim” by a loud voice (4)

Because of these hadiths, many Shias come to Karbala in Arbaeen to visit the holy shrine of Imam Hussain (AS). Not only Shias, but also many Sunnis or even Christians, jews and many other faiths participate in this grand ceremony. 

Help and Dedication is the Most Important Lesson of Arbaeen

During these days when millions of people from all around the world come and visit some cities of Iraq including Karbala, Najaf, Samarra and Kazimain, all services to the pilgrims are provided by the Iraqi people themselves like food, water, places for rest, clinical services, etc. 

The generosity of Iraqi people in these days shows all the visitors that Imam Hussain’s message (AS) is different from any other hero in this world. They learn that in a world where everybody thinks only of their interests, we can be different just like Imam Hussain (AS). Iraqi people have exhibited a new lifestyle in which people are not individuals but a community led by one person, that is Imam Hussain (AS), regardless of their nationality, age, color, language, etc. and they are ready to sacrifice anything for their faith in Imam Hussain’s message (AS). 

Actually, this is what our awaited Imam, Imam Mahdi (AJ), wants. It is quoted from Imam Mahdi (AJ) that he said:

If the hearts of our followers where united based on accomplishing their covenant with us, it wouldn’t take long for them to meet us and they would be blessed with seeing us so soon. (5)

Iraqi people’s sacrificial deeds have made it so easy for people to do as Imam Mahdi (AJ) in this Hadith says. When Shia Muslims sacrifice all they have for their Shia brothers and sisters, it is called “Musavat” which means thinking of your bother and your sister as yourself and share everything you have with him orher. What we see in Iraq during the Arbaeen ceremony is actually the culture and the lifestyle which Shi’ism suggests: a society without poverty and cruelty; the society of Musavat. 

In this regard Imam Baqir (AS) says:

O son of Artat! [one of the Shias] how do you Shiites help each other?
 He said: very well O Aba-Jafar! [Imam Baqir (AS)]. Imam Baqir (AS) said: is it possible for any of you to put their hand in the pocket of their brother andmtake what they need when they need it so much?
He said: no, we do not allow that.
Imam Baqir (AS) said: if you did, there would be no needy among you. (6)

Fighting against Oppression and tyranny is the massage of Imam Hussain (AS)

Some concepts are valued everywhere in the world. For example, if you sacrifice your life to save another human being, you will be considered as a hero. The soldiers who fight for their nation’s freedom and dedicate their lives to save others are respected by anyone in their countries. Just like that, Imam Hussain (AS) sacrificed his life and the lives of his companions to save all the humanity from ignorance, misdirection and violence. In the Arbaeen prayer (a suggested prayer by the Shiite Imams that you read when you visit the shrine of Imam Hussain (AS) on Arbaeen) we say:
[O God!] Imam Hussain (AS) sacrificed the blood in his heart for your sake, so that he would save your worshipers from ignorance and the confusion of misdirection (7)

Imam Hussain (AS) showed the humanity that we must not accept the tyranny of any king, president, prime minister, or any person. Every person is important and we are responsible for their lives and we even should sacrifice our lives to save theirs. Clearly, this lesson creates a worldwide peace if everyone was familiar with it and put it in practice. 

How lady Zeinab (AS) can be a role-model for women? 

Lady Zeinab (AS) is Imam Hussain’s sister (AS) who accompanied him on his journey to Karbala and she was captured as a slave with the other women after the martyrdom of Imam Hussain (AS). She was a patient woman who endured all these problems including loss of her darlings, slavery, the enemies brutal behavior, humiliation and so forth; But she didn’t lose her control and she stood against the Yazid in Damascus and made some speeches that woke people up and made them aware of Yazid’s cruelty and bloodthirst. She actually was the messenger of Imam Hussain (AS) to the whole world and was commissioned to fight against oppression without a sword in her hands. 

Women must take lady Zeinab as an example and learn that if they cannot fight like men in the battlefields, it doesn’t mean that they have no responsibility for fighting against injustice. They can change the culture of a society if they believe in themselves. 
 
 Resources 

1.  Vasa’il ash-Shia, Sheik Hurr al-A’meli, vol.10, Pg.353
2. Bihar al-Anvar, Allamah al-Majlesi, vol.101, Pg.39
3.  Kamil az-Ziarat, Ibn Qulavaih, Pg.147
4.  Iqbal al-A’mal, As-Seyyed ibn Tavuss, vol.2, Pg.589
5.  Al-Ih’tijaj, At-Tabarsi, vol.2, Pg.325
6.  Bihar al-Anvar, Allamah al-Majlesi, vol.78, Pg.185
7. The same, vol.98, Pg.331