A time comes in everyone’s life, or at least I hope it comes when they realize that they have to not only believe what they believe in, whatever it may be but get out there and proclaim it to the world.  Luckily, that time came early for me.  I am 17, and I am a convert to Islam which is the belief that I’m proclaiming.

"It Didn't Feel Right"

I was raised Catholic.  Not internally as much as externally.  I went to Catholic Sunday school, called CCD, but the Catholic view of God never played a major role in my childhood.  It was a Sunday thing.  Anyhow, I started to enjoy Mass around 7th grade.  It made me feel good to do the right thing.  I was always a rather moral person, but I never really studied the fundamentals of Catholicism.  I just knew that I felt good worshipping my creator. […]

Before I was confirmed in 8th grade, in the fall of 1999, I learned a lot about what Catholicism was.  The Catholicism of the Church had a lot on viewing Jesus as God in it.  Nothing like my “undivided God being worshipped by me with Jesus as an example” train of thought.  It was like they just opened up a can of cold, illogical confusion and tried to feed it to me.  It didn’t feel right. 

I continued with the Catholic Church and kept on worshipping.  But I talked to many in the church about my feelings that Jesus wasn’t God but more of a Prophet, an example.  They told me that I had to accept him as God and as a sacrifice, and so on.  I just wasn’t buying it.  I tried to buy it, but I guess God withhold the sale for my own benefit.  There was a better car out there for me.  I continued at the church. 

"I Started Reading about Islam"

Sometime in mid-December of 1999, for no reason that I can recall I started reading up on Islam in encyclopedias.  I remember making a list of bolded words in the entry for “Islam” in an old 1964 Grolier World Book that I found in my closet, and studying them.  

For some reason I was amazed by this faith and that it was all about God and that it was everything that I believed all my life - right here.  Previously, I had accepted that there was no faith like I felt inside of me.  But I was amazed that I had found this faith.  I found out that “my” faith had a name and millions of other adherents!

Without ever reading a Qur’an or talking to another Muslim, I said shahada (declaring your belief in no god but God) […].  As the months passed, I learned more.  I went through many periods of confusion, happiness, doubt, and amazement.  Islam took me on an enlightening tour of me, everyone else, and God. 

A Slow Process of Conversion to Islam

The transition was slow.  I was still attending Mass five months into my change of faith.  Each time I went, I felt more and more distant from the congregation, but closer and closer to God and the Prophet Jesus, peace be upon him. 

During Ramadan […], the second time I fasted (the first year, I converted during Ramadan and did not fast), I went to the library during lunch period.  It was better than sitting at a table with my friends because I got work done in the library.  I swear my grades went up.  Anyways, I started talking to the only other Muslim at my school, John.  We talked about Islam a little more each day.  He’s an awesome brother, and he took me to the mosque on the last Friday of Ramadan.  

Going was one of the best things I ever made in my life.  God really answered my prayers this time.  I thought I would be nervous, but I wasn’t at all.  It was the most natural thing I ever did in my life.  I felt at home.  I realized something before leaving.  As I sat there on the floor, praying to God, I realized that the room was full of others, but it was OK.  

See, at home when someone asks me what I am doing, I never say I am praying.  I never admit it to anyone.  It is too awkward.  But there, at the masjid, I was praying to God in front of a score of other Muslims, and I felt perfectly fine.  Better than fine! I felt secure and safe.  It was the most liberating thing since I accepted God into my heart that cold New Year’s Eve almost two years ago. 

To be continued…

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I feel honored to be a Muslim... And I feel that way for many reasons.  There are many norms in the society I live that are opposite to what it is to be a Muslim.   And when I first came to this way of life, I didn’t know how well I would fair with it.  […]

Having spent a large portion of my short life not being a Muslim, I know the darkness that God speaks of in the Quran.  I remember what it was like when Allah opened my eyes and shined a light where the darkness had once been.  At the beginning of my life, I had no definite form of absolute guidance.

The simplest aspects of creation would boggle my mind. I was totally oblivious to the miracles God put in nature.  One time, in particular, I recall learning about evaporation in science class.  I was unable to comprehend it.  Not the how, but the reason it happened.

I understood the idea of the water cycle and its importance for life, but what would make the water essentially disappear and float back up to the sky?

When viewing this question, without knowing God, my mind ran into a mental block at which point I could not come up with the answer.  Boggled by the thought, I merely shrugged my shoulders and threw it to the back of my mind.

When looking at the human body, and how it’s made largely of water, or looking at the universe and trying to comprehend what was beyond it.  I would be faced with the mental barricade of not being able to comprehend the reason for its creation.

Time and time again scientists could explain the how, but never the why.  They could explain purpose within the mechanics of creation, but they could never explain the purpose of the mechanics itself.  What caused the mechanics?  What caused nature to have laws?

Having been brought up in a non-practicing Christian family, I had a general understanding of the principles of Christianity.  […] My problem with Christianity was the dogma, and more specifically the beliefs about God.  The issue of a “Triune” God that is essentially three different individuals that all unite to take on the role of the “One” God.  I know that is not how the Doctrine of Trinity is officially promoted, and any Bible-thumping Christian would probably accuse me of not understanding the Doctrine, but that’s the reality that I saw in it

[…] Around that time, I unofficially rejected Christianity. I became a Christian / Atheist / Agnostic.  I began to live life trying to come to terms with my surroundings and myself.  Not knowing of a greater purpose, I saw no problem in taking part in destructive activities of any kind; on the condition, I would receive some sort of satisfaction from it.

[…] I began to turn to the common reality escape, namely drugs and alcohol.  At first, using them as a social tool, and eventually using them habitually as a sedative.  If people ever told me I should calm down, I would tell them I could stop if I had a reason, but I had no reason. […] But eventually, I started to feel a consciousness within me looking for some sort of console.  Although I was lost and in the dark, since I never saw the light, I didn’t know the difference between the two.  I began to think of “the bigger picture.”

I began to think about death.  I tried to comprehend the concept of nothingness, and as many times before in my life, when trying to contemplate the purpose, my mind drew blanks.  Until one night, while I lay on my bed, deep in thought, I turned my face to the sky, and I said: “God, if you’re real, and You exist, please help me!”

I went to sleep that night never really thinking twice about it.  Then on 9/11, I watched the uncanny events unfold.  I was confused about the whole situation, why it happened, what exactly happened, and how they knew who did it almost immediately.  For the first time there was meaning being applied to foreign terms that I had heard, but never knew anything about, namely Islam.

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