I am C.S. Mathos. I was born into a secular family on August 1st, 1992, in Pennsylvania. My mom was once a Christian, and as a kid she went to a Quaker church. […]To explain, I was surprisingly logical as a child, and reasoned that it was impossible that a god existed. Really, I didn’t care about religion back then. […]
I was obviously ridiculed when my love for paleontology did not subside. […] When I did speak, I was most often honest, soft spoken, and didn’t have much to say, because I didn’t trust people, and I liked my imagination better than the real world. Even when 9/11’s attacks came, I didn’t talk much, and didn’t react to it. It didn’t scare me at all; I thought the word “Muslim” was the term for an ethnic group[…]When I did come out of my shell (5th grade), I fought with people about religion and politics. I believed there were hypocrisies in Christianity, which was the only religion I remembered at that time.
When I became 13 years old, I really received insults, and took them seriously. […] At that time I wasn’t interested in anything. I decided I needed a religion. I didn’t really search for one, just believed there was one God, and, because of my bitterness, I blamed my problems on Him. […]
I just needed a religion. I tried out Christianity, however I flat out left it. Too many contradictions, sectarianism, and hypocrisy.
I looked around, and around, I looked at everything, from Christianity to Greek Mythology. I decided to look at Islam last, since I took into account the prejudices of war and the possibility that I may actually be killed by someone due to following such a religion. I gave up on everything else, and I said to myself: “The last thing you have to go to is Islam. Just get a Quran and read it. Hell, it may be what you’re looking for.” I got the Quran off of a website and got it in the mail 5 days after it was ordered. It was dark green; so dark green, I thought it was black. It has a beautiful leather binding, gold imprints on it. I started reading it, and I just saw that it was nothing as it was portrayed on TV. I saw that there was only one God, and there was no one else to worship but He. I saw this, and I wanted to join the religion.
[…] I decided that writing down how to pray was for later, conversion was needed for me. I needed to submit to God. NOW. I found the Shahada, and I wrote it down. Then, I took the Shahada, and became a Muslim. As soon as I did, I felt the pain in my heart lifted, and I felt truly happy. God has been good to me, and I try to pray 5 times every day to Him. However, due to the circumstances of war prejudices, other people’s intolerance, and other people’s sectarianism, I have to practice my religion in secret. I pray to God in the morning, noon, sundown, evening, and at 11:00 or 12:00 at night. When I can drive, I’ll drive to the nearest mosque every Friday. My own mother doesn’t even know I’m a Muslim. I’ll tell her when I’m truly ready, or when I’m an adult and live elsewhere, or I’m in college. I pray that God keeps me away from disbelief, and help me become the best Muslim I can be while practicing in secret. If my mom is reading this, try to understand my religion before you pass judgment. Let me practice my religion in peace, without your ridicules and jokes, which are hurtful. I’ve been practicing Islam for a week, I think. I lose track of time.
Non-Muslims that are reading this, I suggest you read the Quran and become a Muslim. Peace be upon you, and God’s blessings.
By C.S. Mathos
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I was raised as a Christian and went to a fundamentalist Bible believing church. I made a profession of faith to Jesus in 1969. In all of my years as a growing up Christian, I read and studied the Bible regularly. Later on, I enlisted in the US Marines and led Bible studies with my troops. In 1988, I started my own church reaching out with a special Spanish ministry to the Hispanics. In 1990, I got out of the Marines and joined the US Navy reserves.
In 1991, I was ordered to active duty for Operation Desert Storm. I remember being impressed with the Arabs worshipping 5 times a day and I never forgot about hearing the Adhan (call to prayer) 5 times a day over the many loudspeakers in the deserts of Saudi Arabia. […]
As I continued in my Christian faith, when I got home, I started to become unsettled regarding it. I went to several different churches and faiths over the years and studied their doctrines. I studied and read the book of Mormon quite a bit and became fascinated with the Mormons. However, I eventually found many conflicts between the Bible and the book of Mormon.
I later joined a 7th Adventist Church and thought this was the true path. I studied and read several of Ellen G. White’s books concerning the 4th commandment of keeping the Saturday Sabbath. However, I eventually saw some conflicts between the Bible and one of Ellen G. White’s visions of heaven.
I stayed home from all churches after that and got a job working for the Kansas City Star newspaper. I came across a couple of Muslims at work and observed them daily, becoming impressed with their humble and pious character. One day, I went to my favorite used book store and saw an English translation of the Noble Quran in Jan of 2008. I took it home and began reading it. I started to feel a drawing to the Islamic faith after about 4 weeks of reading it daily.
One January early morning, I was looking up on the internet on how to convert to Islam. I found and repeated the Shahada very prayerfully and did this 2 or 3 times while meditating on it and with a prayerful attitude. I suddenly felt a great weight lifted from my shoulders as I discovered that God had forgiven me of all my past sins. […] Since saying the Shahada, I immediately began performing Wudu (ablution) and Salat (prayer) 5 times daily. It has now been 9 weeks since I converted to Islam and I am reading the Quran and studying the Islamic books daily.
On a side note, my wife has become upset with me over my conversion and has been trying to get me to renounce Islam. I tell her I can never turn my back on God and continue to lead a humble Muslim life before her and being patient with her in the hopes of her one day embracing Islam. I am now mentally, spiritually and physically feeling my best since converting to Islam.
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It was a typical day. I woke up early before my parents and got ready to go running in the park near our house. Running without music seemed almost impossible to me; it seemed as though my body responded to physical activities better when music was playing through my ears. My iPod was full of my favorite songs and was ready to flow energy into my feet. I pressed the round button of play but... what was it playing? I have never heard such a thing! Never put it on my iPod! My finger slipped on the left arrow to skip it, but something stopped it. It was The Miracle of Words...
It wasn't a song or poem; someone was reciting some words with a very fascinating and melodious rhythm. I couldn't make out the words, never heard the language spoken in it. However, its effect was so strong that for a second, I couldn't move. It seemed as if I had been exposed to an electric shock. I replayed it a thousand times, and each time my feelings arose stronger than before.
I rushed home to find out who the writer of these words was and who was reciting them and more importantly who put it on my iPod. The latter mystery was solved quite easily; I’d downloaded it from the net instead of another song, but how I’d made such a mistake, I never found out.
To find the writer of those words, I didn't know where to search. Since I didn't understand it and didn't know the language, I couldn't search for it on the net. So I decided to play it for my father who knew some languages. He recognized it instantly...
The day after the incident, I went to the nearest bookshop and to the surprise of the shopkeeper, I bought the book-of course the English translation- that carried those enchanting words. I couldn't wait longer, so the second that he handed me the book I started reading it.
The content was deep and compelling, however, the feeling that I experienced by hearing the original words did not arise in me by reading the translation. But the book still was so absorbing that I finished it in a matter of days.
I wasn't satisfied. I had to figure out the secret of the original words. It became a matter of life and death for me; I had to pursue it, or my life would have lost its meaning. So, I decided to learn the language of the book. It was a very formidable decision since the language was not in the least like my own and it was considered to be one of the hardest languages in the world.
Nevertheless, I found a place and started learning it. It took me months to be able to read some words of the book and understand their meaning, however, the more I learned, the more voracious I became in following the path I had chosen.
Gradually, I came to realize some of the extraordinary aspects of the word choice of that book. The words were chosen based on a careful and precise symmetry as well as coordination; they were irreplaceable since they were so firmly bound together both in meaning and tone. If you had replaced a word with its close synonym, the whole sentence and even the entire part would have become inconsistent and wouldn’t have had the same effect at all.
Moreover, the careful choice of the words in each part had a direct influence over the tone of that part; sometimes cautionary and awakening, sometimes annunciatory and promising, and in both cases pierces instantly into your heart. Reading the words makes you feel like you are reciting a melodious poem written in prose style, yet no poem or prose could be considered equal to it.
In a few months, the charm of the Quran’s words changed me into a whole new person; from an aimless and disconcerted girl to one whose purpose is as clear as daylight, full of hope and positivity. This experience that marked a turning point in my life came to me as a miracle; you too can go on the same journey and find your way out; just hear these words once and feel the difference by yourself.
References:
- Mohammad Hadi Ma'arefat. Qur’anic sciences. Qom: Al tahmid, 1381.
- new muslim