We live in a diverse world with people of varying backgrounds and differences. People have different looks and colors, different cultures and traditions, thoughts and viewpoints, religions and beliefs, etc. However, they all live together on planet Earth where they need to have social connections, relationships and more importantly a sense of togetherness. In fact, the need for belonging to a society or community is the main reason why people seek friends.
However, finding a good friend and building a healthy and strong relationship is not always an easy task. Many factors influence the choice of friends with religion and beliefs being particularly important to people. It becomes even more significant when it comes to Islam, as we have a few verses in the Quran about friendship. These verses have raised the question of whether Muslims can be friends with non-Muslims.
In this text we will go through the verses of the Quran and some narrations to find the answer to the question mentioned above.
The fact that the Quran emphasizes the issue of friendship in different verses and from different aspects shows the importance of friendship and how friends can influence each other’s lives and destinies.
There is a verse in the Quran that talks about the regrets of people who end up in hell saying:
“Woe to me! I wish I had not taken so and so as a friend! Certainly, he led me astray from the Reminder after it had come to me, and Satan is a deserter of man.’” (25: 28-29)
When the Quran talks about the huge shock that disbelievers go through in the hereafter it says:
“Now we have no intercessors, nor do we have any sympathetic friend.” (26: 110- 101)
Theses verses show that having a friend is a real need for human beings, even in the next life, and emphasize the fact that friends can either be misleading or genuine. Since the influence of friends is so important on human beings, Allah (SWT) advises us on the characteristics of good and bad friends and guides us on who to befriend and who to avoid.
There are some verses in the Quran in which Allah (SWT) guides us not to take specific people as friends:
“O you who have faith! Do not take your confidants from others than yourselves; they will spare nothing to ruin you. They are eager to see you in distress. Hatred has already shown itself from their mouths, and what their breasts hide [within] is yet worse. We have certainly made the signs clear for you, should you exercise your reason.” (3:118)
Confidants are close friends with whom we share secrets. In the above verse Allah (SWT) advises us not to take our close friends from among those who are not faithful to us, whether they are Muslims or non-Muslims, since these types of people will try their best to endanger and harm us in any possible way. [1]
However, the verse emphasizes close friends with whom we share secrets, and does not forbid normal friendship with people to whom we don’t share secrets and have routine conversations in which we can teach them and learn from them.
“Allah does not forbid you from dealing with kindness and justice with those [polytheists] who did not make war against you on account of religion and did not expel you from your homes. Indeed, Allah loves the just. Allah forbids you only in regard to those who made war against you on account of religion and expelled you from your homes and supported [the polytheists of Makkah] in your expulsion, that you make friends with them, and whoever makes friends with them—it is they who are the wrongdoers.” (60: 7- 8)
Therefore, living a peaceful life alongside those non-Muslims who respect you and your beliefs is not forbidden; rather, it is recommended to have communication with these type of moral and just non-Muslims so that you may convey the words of Allah (SWT) to them in words or by your actions.
“If any of the polytheists seeks asylum from you, grant him asylum until he hears the Word of Allah. Then convey him to his place of safety. That is because they are a people who do not know.” (9:6)
But let’s study the verses of the Quran that seem to be in contradiction with what we just said, where Allah (SWT) commands us not to befriend a group of people.
“O you who have faith! Do not take My enemy and your enemy for friends, [secretly] offering them affection, if you have set out for jihad in My way and to seek My pleasure, for they have certainly denied whatever has come to you of the truth, expelling the Apostle and you, because you have faith in Allah, your Lord. You secretly nourish affection for them, while I know well whatever you hide and whatever you disclose, and whoever among you does that has certainly strayed from the right way.” (60: 1)
The phrase “my enemy and your enemy” in the above verse shows that the enemies of Allah (SWT) are, in fact, the enemies of believers, too. The logical reason for which Allah (SWT) forbids us from befriending His enemies is that they are not well-wishers for Muslims and try their best to ridicule, humiliate, and weaken the believers. What they wish for the believers is explained in different verses of the Quran:
“Neither the faithless from among the People of the Book nor the idolaters like that any good be showered on you from your Lord” (2: 105), “They are eager to see you in distress” (3: 118), “The faithless are eager that you should be oblivious to your weapons and your baggage, so that they could assault you all at once” (4: 102), “Indeed they are devising a stratagem” (86: 15).
These verses explain the reasons why Allah (SWT) prohibits us from befriending His enemies and because they try their best to harm us, and the reason for that as explained in the Quran is:
“Satan has prevailed upon them, so he has caused them to forget the remembrance of Allah. They are Satan’s confederates. Look! Indeed, it is Satan’s confederates who are the losers!” (58: 19)
These verses that advise Muslims to avoid befriending non-Muslims or idolaters are mostly about political relationships between countries where these friendships may endanger the interests of Muslim countries. And if a Muslim befriends non-Muslims or idolater who do not care about the interests of his/her country, they need to be cautious not to share secrets with them and keep their friendship in a level where they are not influenced by those friends. Rather they can affect them positively, because:
“Allah will never provide the faithless any way [to prevail] over the faithful.” (4: 141)
References:
- Qara’ati, M. Tafseer-e Nour, vol. 1, p. 591
Treat people the way you like to be treated.
Hasan ibn Muhammad Deilami, Aalam al-din fi Sifat al-Moumenin, p.297.
The best of virtues is being good-tempered.
al-Shaykh al-Saduq, Al-Khisal (The Traits), p.29.
Whoever serves Allah sincerely, Allah will make all the universe serve him/her.
Warram b. Abi Firas al-Hilli, Tanbih al-khawatir wa nuzhat al-nawazir , vol.2, p.108.
The one who doesn't give thanks for his/her blessings is a worthless person.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p. 233.
Allah has made the month of Ramadan like a competition for His servants, to compete for His satisfaction with each other through obeying Him.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p.236.
Treat your neighbor kindly to be worthy of being a Muslim.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.78, p.112.
I advise you to think and contemplate since they enliven an insightful person's heart and are the key to wisdom.
Hasan ibn Muhammad Deilami, Aalam al-din fi Sifat al-Moumenin, p.297.
Consulting in groups leads you toward success.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p.233.
A true friend is always on your side, whether in hardships or comforts.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.78, p.114.
Patience means restraining from anger and having yourself under control.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p.227.
O' servants of Allah, beware that Allah had not created you in vain, nor left you on your own. Instead, He had determined the years of your lives and has distributed your sustenance among you. This way, any wise person will realize his/her worth and that he/she won't get more than what has been determined for him/her.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p.234.
Strive for this life as if you will live forever, and make every effort for the life that is to come as if you will die the next day.
Muhammad Reza, Ali and Muhammad Hakimi, Al-Hayat (Life), vol.4, p.62.
This world is the dwelling of pain and hardship, and whatever rests here is doomed to mortality. Allah had informed us of this world's workings to learn our lessons from it. He has warned us beforehand so that no excuse will remain at the end for us. Therefore, be pious in dealing with what is temporal (i.e., this world) and seek what is eternal (the afterlife).
Muhammad b. 'Ali b. Shahrashub, Manāqib Āl Abī Ṭālib, vol.4, p.31.
Verily, the lights of guidance in this Quran leads toward prosperity. This Quran heals hearts and souls.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p.11.
There is a thin line between what is right and wrong; what you see with your own eyes is the right thing, and what you hear or is told about might be wrong.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p.229.
Being grateful for the blessings and being patient in hardships, are the virtues to which you can't find any negative side.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p.234.
Verily, people are slaves to this world and its wealth and make their religion a means of reaching their (worldly) purposes and do whatever it takes to build an ideal life. Therefore, when faced with a trial, few will adhere to their religions.
Qadi Nur Allah Shushtari, Ihqaq al-haqq, vol.11, p.234.
Whoever knows Allah, will fall in love with Him.
Warram b. Abi Firas al-Hilli, Tanbih al-khawatir wa nuzhat al-nawazir, vol.1, p.52.
The blessings are unappreciated as long as they are at hand, yet their worth will be appreciated as soon as they are lost.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.78, p.115.
Meanness is considering what you own as the reason for your honor, and what you give away as waste.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p.225.
Poverty is the greed that is not satisfied with anything.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, pp.225&226.
I advise you to piety and constant pondering since thinking is the root of all virtues.
Warram b. Abi Firas al-Hilli, Tanbih al-khawatir wa nuzhat al-nawazir, vol.1, p.52.
When Allah blesses someone with the ability to supplicate to Him, He surely gives his/her prayers the chance of being granted.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.78, p.113.
Expressing your opinion on the subject, which is not related to you, puts an unnecessary burden on your shoulders.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p.226.
Being afraid of honesty and expressing the truth is a sign of abasement.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p.226.
There are three things that bring destruction to people; pride, greed, and envy.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.78, p.111.
The best chance for a benevolent person to forgive a guilty one is when there is no way out for the latter.
Hasan ibn Muhammad Deilami, Aalam al-din fi Sifat al-Moumenin, p.297.
Whoever counts the number of his/her charities, ruins his/her spirit of generosity.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.78, p.113.
The most insightful eyes are the ones that are fixed only on the goodness and virtues, and the most receptive ears are the ones who listen to advice and make use of them.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.78, p.109.
At times, silence is a better companion, even if you are a perfect speaker.
al-Shaykh al-Saduq, Ma'ani l-Akhbar, section no.401. Hadith no. 62.
The calamities are the keys to blessings and rewards.
Hasan ibn Muhammad Deilami, Aalam al-din fi Sifat al-Moumenin, p.297.
Whoever seeks to worship [Allah] sincerely, should purify him/herself for this purpose.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p.236.
No wealth is more precious than wisdom.
Baha' al-Din 'Ali b. 'Isa al-Irbili, Kashf al-ghumma fi ma'rifat al-a'imma, vol.2, p.198.
Treating people good-manneredly is a crucial part of wisdom.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.78, p.111.
Teach your knowledge to others and learn what others know; this way, you will both improve your own knowledge and learn what you didn't know about.
Baha' al-Din 'Ali b. 'Isa al-Irbili, Kashf al-ghumma fi ma'rifat al-a'imma, vol.2, p.197.
I wonder how you would think about the food for your body and don't contemplate on the food for your thought? You restrain from eating what is harmful to your body, but fill your mind and soul with what ruins them.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.1, p.218.
Your [real] thoughts will be revealed in your anger.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.78., p.113.
I guarantee that Allah will grant the prayers of the one whose only purpose is Allah's satisfaction.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.43. , p.351.
Whoever trusts Allah's best intention, will only desire what Allah chooses for him/her.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.78., p.106.
Giving alms-tax (Zakat) does not reduce your wealth.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.96., p.23.
Muharram is the first month of the Islamic calendar, a month that holds great significance for many Muslims around the world, including Shias and Sunnis. Literally meaning “forbidden, banned or prohibited,” this month is one of the four sacred months in Islam during which warfare is strictly forbidden. But what is that thing that makes this month, particularly the 10th day of it (Ashura), so special for many Muslims and generally a significant number of people throughout the history?!
About fourteen hundred years ago, on the 10th of Muharram, the grandson of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP), Imam Hussain ibn Ali (AS) together with his family members and close companions were ruthlessly slain on the plain of Karbala.
Yazid, the son of Muawiyah, was illegally appointed as the leader of the Muslim community by his father. After Muawiyah’s death, Yazid started to take allegiance from the most influential tribal leaders. He also called upon Imam Hussain (AS) to swear the oath of obedience to him and accept him as the rightful leader.
Imam Hussain (AS) refused to do so as Yazid lacked the minimum qualities required for an ordinary Muslim let alone a Muslim leader. Anyhow, Yazid ordered his governors to either take allegiance from Imam Hussain (AS) or make him surrender by any means, even at the cost of taking his life. Imam Hussain (AS), however, did not give away to their unjust request and unkind pressure. So finally he was martyred along with his sincere companions by Yazid’s forces and their wives and children were taken as captives.
Since the 10th of Muharram of 61 A.H., millions of Muslims all over the world hold yearly mourning ceremonies throughout Muharram to commemorate the loss of Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH & HP) grandson, Imam Hussain (AS). In their religious gatherings, each year, speeches are given about the life and merits of Imam Hussain (AS) and his companions, the sufferings they went through and the sacrifices they made. People recall the incident of Karbala many times and try to keep the message and purpose of this greatest martyrdom in the history of humankind alive through their sorrow and tears. Not only that, but lots of people are also engaged in charitable activities like blood donation, giving food to their fellow brothers and sisters, and helping the ones in need to follow their Imam’s lead.
You might wonder what the real cause of this incident was that still evoke great emotions in the hearts of Muslims and generally anyone who gets the opportunity to hear about it, despite the passage of centuries! The most important purpose for which Imam Hussain (AS) was martyred was his faith. He fought in an unjust battle to revive his grandfather’s religion, the invaluable merits, and values that had been violated and taken for granted all those years. He, along with his companions suffered great miseries and sacrificed all they had for the sake of the principles of Islam, which they believed to be a lot more precious than anything else even their own lives. They practically showed the humankind of all times that sacrifice and martyrdom are essential when the cause is just.
Now, throughout centuries, in the month of Muharram, Muslims turn over a new leaf in their lives by remembering Imam Hussain (AS) and the incident of Karbala. They answer Imam Hussain’s (AS) call for help by expressing their anger to Yazid and the likes. They follow their Imam’s footsteps in fighting the Yazid within themselves and generally resisting any violent oppression and injustice out there in the social and political levels.
As a result, Muslims fully comprehend the core message of Islam, which is the Quranic principle of Tawhid; that there is no one but Allah, and we all need to be committed to Him; that even ordinary Muslims deserve more than a figure like Yazid, and they should always remain defiant against him and any oppression or injustice. The month of Muharram is an opportunity for all of us to remind ourselves of the right belief and the true Islamic teachings that never harmonize with any kind of oppression.