We live in a diverse world with people of varying backgrounds and differences. People have different looks and colors, different cultures and traditions, thoughts and viewpoints, religions and beliefs, etc. However, they all live together on planet Earth where they need to have social connections, relationships and more importantly a sense of togetherness. In fact, the need for belonging to a society or community is the main reason why people seek friends.
However, finding a good friend and building a healthy and strong relationship is not always an easy task. Many factors influence the choice of friends with religion and beliefs being particularly important to people. It becomes even more significant when it comes to Islam, as we have a few verses in the Quran about friendship. These verses have raised the question of whether Muslims can be friends with non-Muslims.
In this text we will go through the verses of the Quran and some narrations to find the answer to the question mentioned above.
The fact that the Quran emphasizes the issue of friendship in different verses and from different aspects shows the importance of friendship and how friends can influence each other’s lives and destinies.
There is a verse in the Quran that talks about the regrets of people who end up in hell saying:
“Woe to me! I wish I had not taken so and so as a friend! Certainly, he led me astray from the Reminder after it had come to me, and Satan is a deserter of man.’” (25: 28-29)
When the Quran talks about the huge shock that disbelievers go through in the hereafter it says:
“Now we have no intercessors, nor do we have any sympathetic friend.” (26: 110- 101)
Theses verses show that having a friend is a real need for human beings, even in the next life, and emphasize the fact that friends can either be misleading or genuine. Since the influence of friends is so important on human beings, Allah (SWT) advises us on the characteristics of good and bad friends and guides us on who to befriend and who to avoid.
There are some verses in the Quran in which Allah (SWT) guides us not to take specific people as friends:
“O you who have faith! Do not take your confidants from others than yourselves; they will spare nothing to ruin you. They are eager to see you in distress. Hatred has already shown itself from their mouths, and what their breasts hide [within] is yet worse. We have certainly made the signs clear for you, should you exercise your reason.” (3:118)
Confidants are close friends with whom we share secrets. In the above verse Allah (SWT) advises us not to take our close friends from among those who are not faithful to us, whether they are Muslims or non-Muslims, since these types of people will try their best to endanger and harm us in any possible way. [1]
However, the verse emphasizes close friends with whom we share secrets, and does not forbid normal friendship with people to whom we don’t share secrets and have routine conversations in which we can teach them and learn from them.
“Allah does not forbid you from dealing with kindness and justice with those [polytheists] who did not make war against you on account of religion and did not expel you from your homes. Indeed, Allah loves the just. Allah forbids you only in regard to those who made war against you on account of religion and expelled you from your homes and supported [the polytheists of Makkah] in your expulsion, that you make friends with them, and whoever makes friends with them—it is they who are the wrongdoers.” (60: 7- 8)
Therefore, living a peaceful life alongside those non-Muslims who respect you and your beliefs is not forbidden; rather, it is recommended to have communication with these type of moral and just non-Muslims so that you may convey the words of Allah (SWT) to them in words or by your actions.
“If any of the polytheists seeks asylum from you, grant him asylum until he hears the Word of Allah. Then convey him to his place of safety. That is because they are a people who do not know.” (9:6)
But let’s study the verses of the Quran that seem to be in contradiction with what we just said, where Allah (SWT) commands us not to befriend a group of people.
“O you who have faith! Do not take My enemy and your enemy for friends, [secretly] offering them affection, if you have set out for jihad in My way and to seek My pleasure, for they have certainly denied whatever has come to you of the truth, expelling the Apostle and you, because you have faith in Allah, your Lord. You secretly nourish affection for them, while I know well whatever you hide and whatever you disclose, and whoever among you does that has certainly strayed from the right way.” (60: 1)
The phrase “my enemy and your enemy” in the above verse shows that the enemies of Allah (SWT) are, in fact, the enemies of believers, too. The logical reason for which Allah (SWT) forbids us from befriending His enemies is that they are not well-wishers for Muslims and try their best to ridicule, humiliate, and weaken the believers. What they wish for the believers is explained in different verses of the Quran:
“Neither the faithless from among the People of the Book nor the idolaters like that any good be showered on you from your Lord” (2: 105), “They are eager to see you in distress” (3: 118), “The faithless are eager that you should be oblivious to your weapons and your baggage, so that they could assault you all at once” (4: 102), “Indeed they are devising a stratagem” (86: 15).
These verses explain the reasons why Allah (SWT) prohibits us from befriending His enemies and because they try their best to harm us, and the reason for that as explained in the Quran is:
“Satan has prevailed upon them, so he has caused them to forget the remembrance of Allah. They are Satan’s confederates. Look! Indeed, it is Satan’s confederates who are the losers!” (58: 19)
These verses that advise Muslims to avoid befriending non-Muslims or idolaters are mostly about political relationships between countries where these friendships may endanger the interests of Muslim countries. And if a Muslim befriends non-Muslims or idolater who do not care about the interests of his/her country, they need to be cautious not to share secrets with them and keep their friendship in a level where they are not influenced by those friends. Rather they can affect them positively, because:
“Allah will never provide the faithless any way [to prevail] over the faithful.” (4: 141)
References:
- Qara’ati, M. Tafseer-e Nour, vol. 1, p. 591
Imam Sadiq (AS) is the sixth Shiite Imam after his father Imam Baqir (AS). The Shiite school is mostly famous as “Jafari School” because Imam Sadiq (AS) played the most important role among the other Imams in explaining and spreading the Shiite teachings. Most of the Shiite hadiths are narrated from Imam Sadiq (AS).
Some Islamic teachings and practices are considered as the outer aspect of Islam, like praying, Hajj, Zakkat and stuff like that. These are the practices which any Muslim should do and respect but all of them have a deeper meaning and a concealed message that people mostly do not get. Sometimes people get so much used to do these practices and conduct ceremonies that they forget about the original meaning of them.
The holy Prophet (PBUH & HP) says:
O Aba-Zar! (One of the companions of the Prophet) Allah almighty doesn’t care about your faces or your wealth, but he cares about your hearts and your actions (1)
When you pray or pay your Zakkat, it must change you and teach you that praying is for getting closer to Allah and Zakkat is for helping the needy.
In this regard the holy Quran says:
Did you see him who denies the Religion? That is the one, who drives away the orphan, and does not urge the feeding of the needy. Woe to those who pray but are heedless of their prayers —who show off but deny aid. (The Holy Quran 107:1-7)
Imam Sadiq (AS) in different prayers says that if you pray but still feel pride and vanity, it will be useless for you because the Satan himself prayed for Allah for 6000 years but due to his vanity and jealousy, he couldn’t stand the greatness of Adam and tried to deceive him and Allah cursed the Satan.
Once Mufazzal ibn Umar (One of the brilliant pupils of the Imam) was sitting in the Mosque of the Prophet (PBUH & HP) in Medina. Then he saw Ibn Abi al-Ouja (one of the Atheist Philosophers) who was insulting the Prophet in the mosque and telling lies to the people saying that there is no god.
Mufazzal says that this made him so angry and he couldn’t control himself so he shouted: “O enemy of Allah! Have you become atheist and denied the God who created you?”
Ibn Abi al-Ouja replied: “If you are one of the religious scholars, I will have debate with you and if you are not, our discussion will be in vain. But if you are one of the companions of Jafar ibn Muhammad (Imam Sadiq) you must know that he wouldn’t talk to us like that and he wouldn’t have discussion with us in this way. He has heard so many more disgraceful words from us but he never has insulted us. He is so knowledgeable, patient and wise and he wouldn’t lose his control out of anger, ignorance or animosity. He always listens to us.” (2)
Imam Sadiq (AS) is famous for his numerous debates with the Sunnis, Atheists, Jews, Christians and so forth, but he would never insult them. He always would order his followers to be kind with the people.
For example about the Sunnis Imam Sadiq (AS) says:
Participate in their funerals and visit them when they are sick, and give them their rights because if a person among you is pious, honest, trustable and good-tempered, people would say “this is a follower of Jafar” and this makes me happy! (3)
Once Imam Sadiq (AS) asked one of his pupils who had gone to Basrah (a city in Iraq):
“How was the enthusiasm of the people for our message and converting to Shia?” Imam Sadiq (AS) asked.
He said: “The ones who want to listen to our message are so few. Some of them did but they are few”
Imam Sadiq (AS) said: “You must talk to the young ones, because they are more eager for finding everything good.” (4)
Imam Sadiq (AS) also says:
“Teach hadiths to your young children from their childhood before the time that others beat you in training them” (5)
Young Shias must set Imam Sadiq (AS) as a pattern for themselves and follow him. They should learn more and more so that the different people who have gone astray can’t deceive them.
Resources
- Al-Amali, Sheikh Toosi, Pg.536
- Tohid al-Mufazzal
- Kafi, Koleini, vol.2, pg.636
- Vasail ash-Shia, vol.11, pg.448
- Kafi, Koleini, vol.6, pg.47
Imam Rida (AS) is the eighth infallible Shiite Imam and successor of the final holy Prophet (PBUH&HP). His name is Ali, and among all his other names and titles the most famous honorary one is “Rida,” which means ‘satisfaction’. But why was he called this name?
According to his son, Imam Jawad (AS), “The Almighty Allah named him Rida because He was pleased with him in the heavens and the Prophet of Allah (PBUH&HP) and the Imams of guidance (AS) were pleased with him on earth” [1]. In fact, Imam Rida (AS)’s moral qualities and virtues were so high that even his enemies were attracted to and admired him. You might wonder what these traits are!
Imam Rida (AS) was the exemplar of a patient man. There were times when he was treated disrespectfully, but he would not react and preferred to remain silent. It has been narrated that when Caliph Mamun[i] tried to degrade Imam Rida’s (AS) position through scientific and theological debates with the contemporary scholars of other religions and opponents, Imam would patiently make the best use of those meetings and introduced the true religion of Islam to the world.
While having a meal alone, Imam Rida (AS) would invite all his slaves, servants, including the Blacks, to have the meal with him at the same place. And when he was told to make separate eating arrangements for the servants, he would refuse and say: “We are all created by God, our parents (Adam and Eve) are the same, everyone will be dealt with by God according to their deeds” [2].
Once a man said to Imam Rida (AS): “By God, you are the best in the world,” but Imam replied: “Do not swear by the name of Allah. Anyone who is more pious than me can be better than me.” Then he recited the following verse of the Quran:
“O, humankind! Verily, We created you all From a male and female [Adam and Eve] and appointed for your tribes and Nations to be known to each other [by Specified characteristics] Verily, in Allah's Sight the most honorable of you Is the most pious of you; and Allah is The Informed Owner of Knowledge” (49:13) [3].
Imam Rida (AS) would never hurt anybody with his words; He treated people as respectfully and kindly as possible; he would never talk badly to anyone or interrupt someone when speaking; he never stretched his legs or lean upon something in front of people. He always smiled instead of laughing loudly [4].
One night while Imam Rida (AS) was talking to his guest, there was a problem with the light. The guest wanted to fix it, but Imam did not let him do so. He started fixing it himself and said: “We are the ones who do not put our guests to work.”
Also, it frequently happened that Imam called a servant for some work, and he was told that the servant was busy having a meal; then Imam would say: “Let him finish his food” [5].
One day a foreign traveler came to visit Imam Rida (AS). After saying hello and expressing his love and affection towards Imam Rida (AS), his fathers and ancestors, he said he had come back from Hajj and had run out of money. He asked Imam to give him some money to go back home and promised to spend the same amount there on charity and giving alms (Sadaqah).
Imam stood up and went to another room. Then he came, stretched his hand from behind the door, and said: “Get this 200 Dinar and spend it for your journey, there is no need to pay the same back as alms.” The man got the Dinars and left. Imam later was asked for the reason for his secret help, and he answered: “Because I did not want the man to feel ashamed” [6].
Also, whenever Imam Rida (AS) wanted to have his meal, he would bring a large plate and put the best of the food on it to be given away to the poor. If he afforded to help, he would always give alms to the destitute at nights.
In another account, One of Imam’s companions narrated that One day after he arrived home, he saw his servants busy repairing the house. Imam noticed a stranger among them and asked about him. They answered he was there to help them and they would pay him. Imam asked if they had defined the amount of payment.
The answer was no. Imam became disturbed and said: “when one works without any contraction, he thinks that you have paid him little, even if you give him three times more. But if you contract and pay him according to the contraction, he will be pleased with receiving his right. Now if you pay more even just a little, he will understand you have paid more and will be thankful” [7].
Imam Rida (AS) had inherited the divine knowledge from his ancestor, our Holy Prophet, Muhammad (PBUH&HP).
He was the wisest man of his time and all his contemporaries. His knowledge was so rich in all religious matters and other realms of knowledge that the people of various tribes in their language would turn to him when they had questions, and he provided them with the best answers. Ma'mun, the ruling caliph, summoned the knowledgeable scholars in an attempt to defeat Imam Rida (AS) in several scientific debates and to discredit him in public. Nonetheless, Imam succeeded in all of them, and no one was capable of overcoming his power of knowledge.
Whoever dared to challenge Imam Rida (AS) ended up yielding to his unique power of reasoning. It has been confirmed by historians that Ma'mun, who was himself a celebrated erudite, pointed out the following statement, in his official charter for the appointment of Imam Rida (AS) as his immediate successor:
"I do not know any person superior to this man [Imam Rida (AS)] in the whole world" [8].
The life of Imam Rida (AS) and our other infallible Imams (AS) contains countless anecdotes of this sort, which reveals how they teach us the correct way of life both by their sayings and behaviors.
In a famous tradition or saying (Hadith) called the Golden Chain (Selselah al-Zahab), Imam Rida (AS) said that he had heard from dignified ancestors quoting from Gabriel and Almighty Allah that: “The word of La Ilaha Illallah -there is no god but Allah- is My stronghold (then whoever acknowledges this has entered My stronghold) and will be saved from My punishment”. After reciting this saying for his companions, Imam paused for a while and then continued, “Few conditions are entitling this entrance, and I am one of its conditions.”
Through this account, Imam Rida (AS) confirms that the belief in monotheism (Tawhid) will be counted as perfect when it is based on the obedience of the infallible Holy Imams (AS). In fact, Imams’ lifestyle and traditions were so good that if we idolize them and follow in their footsteps, we will certainly be able to move through the stages of spiritual perfection and win Allah’s satisfaction. Insha’Allah!
Notes:
[i] The Abbasid caliph in power at Imam Reza’s (AS) time.
References:
- Bihar al-Anwar, V.49, P.4.
- Osool al-Kafi vol.8 p.230.
- Oyoun Akhbar al-Reza, v.2, p.236.
- Al-Fadl ibn al-Hasan Tabarsi, Aa’lam al-Vara p.314.
- Osool al-Kafi vol.6 p.383 & 298.
- Managhib vol.4 p.360.
- Osool al-Kafi vol.5 p.288.
- Al-Irshad, v.2, p. 261.