We live in a diverse world with people of varying backgrounds and differences. People have different looks and colors, different cultures and traditions, thoughts and viewpoints, religions and beliefs, etc. However, they all live together on planet Earth where they need to have social connections, relationships and more importantly a sense of togetherness. In fact, the need for belonging to a society or community is the main reason why people seek friends.
However, finding a good friend and building a healthy and strong relationship is not always an easy task. Many factors influence the choice of friends with religion and beliefs being particularly important to people. It becomes even more significant when it comes to Islam, as we have a few verses in the Quran about friendship. These verses have raised the question of whether Muslims can be friends with non-Muslims.
In this text we will go through the verses of the Quran and some narrations to find the answer to the question mentioned above.
The fact that the Quran emphasizes the issue of friendship in different verses and from different aspects shows the importance of friendship and how friends can influence each other’s lives and destinies.
There is a verse in the Quran that talks about the regrets of people who end up in hell saying:
“Woe to me! I wish I had not taken so and so as a friend! Certainly, he led me astray from the Reminder after it had come to me, and Satan is a deserter of man.’” (25: 28-29)
When the Quran talks about the huge shock that disbelievers go through in the hereafter it says:
“Now we have no intercessors, nor do we have any sympathetic friend.” (26: 110- 101)
Theses verses show that having a friend is a real need for human beings, even in the next life, and emphasize the fact that friends can either be misleading or genuine. Since the influence of friends is so important on human beings, Allah (SWT) advises us on the characteristics of good and bad friends and guides us on who to befriend and who to avoid.
There are some verses in the Quran in which Allah (SWT) guides us not to take specific people as friends:
“O you who have faith! Do not take your confidants from others than yourselves; they will spare nothing to ruin you. They are eager to see you in distress. Hatred has already shown itself from their mouths, and what their breasts hide [within] is yet worse. We have certainly made the signs clear for you, should you exercise your reason.” (3:118)
Confidants are close friends with whom we share secrets. In the above verse Allah (SWT) advises us not to take our close friends from among those who are not faithful to us, whether they are Muslims or non-Muslims, since these types of people will try their best to endanger and harm us in any possible way. [1]
However, the verse emphasizes close friends with whom we share secrets, and does not forbid normal friendship with people to whom we don’t share secrets and have routine conversations in which we can teach them and learn from them.
“Allah does not forbid you from dealing with kindness and justice with those [polytheists] who did not make war against you on account of religion and did not expel you from your homes. Indeed, Allah loves the just. Allah forbids you only in regard to those who made war against you on account of religion and expelled you from your homes and supported [the polytheists of Makkah] in your expulsion, that you make friends with them, and whoever makes friends with them—it is they who are the wrongdoers.” (60: 7- 8)
Therefore, living a peaceful life alongside those non-Muslims who respect you and your beliefs is not forbidden; rather, it is recommended to have communication with these type of moral and just non-Muslims so that you may convey the words of Allah (SWT) to them in words or by your actions.
“If any of the polytheists seeks asylum from you, grant him asylum until he hears the Word of Allah. Then convey him to his place of safety. That is because they are a people who do not know.” (9:6)
But let’s study the verses of the Quran that seem to be in contradiction with what we just said, where Allah (SWT) commands us not to befriend a group of people.
“O you who have faith! Do not take My enemy and your enemy for friends, [secretly] offering them affection, if you have set out for jihad in My way and to seek My pleasure, for they have certainly denied whatever has come to you of the truth, expelling the Apostle and you, because you have faith in Allah, your Lord. You secretly nourish affection for them, while I know well whatever you hide and whatever you disclose, and whoever among you does that has certainly strayed from the right way.” (60: 1)
The phrase “my enemy and your enemy” in the above verse shows that the enemies of Allah (SWT) are, in fact, the enemies of believers, too. The logical reason for which Allah (SWT) forbids us from befriending His enemies is that they are not well-wishers for Muslims and try their best to ridicule, humiliate, and weaken the believers. What they wish for the believers is explained in different verses of the Quran:
“Neither the faithless from among the People of the Book nor the idolaters like that any good be showered on you from your Lord” (2: 105), “They are eager to see you in distress” (3: 118), “The faithless are eager that you should be oblivious to your weapons and your baggage, so that they could assault you all at once” (4: 102), “Indeed they are devising a stratagem” (86: 15).
These verses explain the reasons why Allah (SWT) prohibits us from befriending His enemies and because they try their best to harm us, and the reason for that as explained in the Quran is:
“Satan has prevailed upon them, so he has caused them to forget the remembrance of Allah. They are Satan’s confederates. Look! Indeed, it is Satan’s confederates who are the losers!” (58: 19)
These verses that advise Muslims to avoid befriending non-Muslims or idolaters are mostly about political relationships between countries where these friendships may endanger the interests of Muslim countries. And if a Muslim befriends non-Muslims or idolater who do not care about the interests of his/her country, they need to be cautious not to share secrets with them and keep their friendship in a level where they are not influenced by those friends. Rather they can affect them positively, because:
“Allah will never provide the faithless any way [to prevail] over the faithful.” (4: 141)
References:
- Qara’ati, M. Tafseer-e Nour, vol. 1, p. 591
“O believers, when the proclamation is made for prayer on the Day of Congregation (Friday), hasten to God's remembrance and leave trafficking aside. That is better for you did you but know.” (62:9)
What do you think as you see a crowd of people gathered in one place, in regular rows? Acting altogether, simultaneously and in a well-organized manner? And they are dressed beautifully and smell good? Especially when they are hundreds and thousands? I see this as a glorious union. You can find this kind of forgathering in a Friday prayer.
Islam emphasizes three congregations: Haj which is held annually in a large scale, weekly Friday prayers and daily congregational prayers. Hajj is God’s plan to bring huge amounts of people together in Mecca, to show the power of Islam and unite the Muslims; besides its specific spirituality. Imam Baghir (AS), the fifth Imam, mentions Hajj as one of the five bases on which Islam is founded. [1]
Friday prayer is of such high importance and value that when a person said to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) that he has got ready several times to go to Hajj but has not managed to, our prophet (PBUH) told him to attend Friday prayer which is Hajj of the poor. [2]
These show that Friday prayer has many characteristics of Hajj and can be influential in the same way, on a smaller scale though.
In several narrations from the last prophet (PBUH&HP) and his household, Friday is known as the best night and day of the week. It is recommended to perform full ablution (qusl), wear your best clothes, cut nails, brush your hair and beard, trim mustaches and wear perfume on this day. One of the main reasons for these recommendations is getting ready to show up among Muslims in Friday prayer.
Friday prayer (Salat al-Jumu’ah) is an Islamic ritual. It begins with two khutbahs (orations) by Imam al-Jumu’ah in which he advises people toward observing virtue. In the first one, he elaborates on religious concepts. In the second one, he discusses political and social matters of Muslims’ community.
Then Friday prayer is performed in congregation. It consists of two rak’ahs (parts). Each rak’ah has a qunut (raising hands); in the first rak’ah before ruku’ (bowing), in the second one after ruku’. Friday prayer and the two orations before that are a substitution to the four-rak’ah Salat al-Zuhr. After that, a four-rak’ah Salat al-Asr is performed. Please note that:
- Friday prayer cannot be performed individually.
- Except for the Imam, there should be at least four people for a Friday prayer to be held. [3]
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) says: “Surely God-may be blessed and exalted- made Friday prayer obligatory for you. If someone abandons it in my life or after my death, aiming to belittle or deny it, God will distress them and won’t bless them in their work; and know! their prayer is not accepted, and know! their alms-tax (Zakat) is not accepted; and know! their Haj is not accepted; and know! their good deed is not accepted until they repent.” [4]
In an ordinary situation, i.e. the presence of innocent Imam, Friday prayer is a determinate duty. That is the same duty should be done and it cannot be replaced by another one. But now that the twelfth and last Imam, Mahdi (AS) is absent, Friday prayer is a selective duty. Which means you can choose between performing Friday prayer or Salat al-Zuhr. [5]
Yet, considering its profits, Muslims should pay special attention to Friday prayer.
Imam Reza (AS), the eighth Imam, states the importance of Friday Prayer and its Khutbahs comprehensively: “Because Friday is a public rendezvous, khutbah on Friday has been arranged to be a means for governor to advise people and to encourage them to obedience and to warn them of disobedience and to inform them of God’s will about their interest of religion and world and let them know of what has happened to them in the world and of events in which they have disadvantage or advantage.”[6]
- We are forgetful beings. We need to be advised repeatedly so that we may not neglect the afterlife, miss the path, and forget necessities of the society.
- See these daily and weekly prayers as the stages of a ladder. By each prayer, we should take a step upwards. By praying, we are communicating with God and by practicing in a regular program, we can enhance the quality of this communication.
References:
- Al-Kafi, v.2, p.18
- Wassail al-Shi'a, v.7, p.300
- Khamenei.ir
- Wassail al-Shi'a, v.7, p.302
- Khamenei.ir
- Wassail al-Shi'a, v.7, p.344
One of the significant parts of responsibility in Islam is our responsibilities towards other people in our lives. Human beings are social creatures. Being in the society, humans are no more obliged to provide all their basic needs on their own. They might benefit from the skills of other people in various fields.
And in return, every individual should do something for what he\she gains from others. It means that everyone is responsible towards other people in the society. Being emphasized in Islamic teachings, it is over every Muslim to respect the rights of other people with the priority given respectively to his\her nuclear family, relatives, neighbors, other Muslims and other human beings [1].
Family as the basic unit of the society is the first community where one’s social interactions begin. The support and peace that one receives in the family make him\her responsible towards them. Thus, the concept of responsibility in Islam towards other begins with our duty towards our family.
The rights that parents have over children have been discussed in another article, but briefly, they include:
Obedience to parents as far as it is not against God’s orders or unjust. Even in those cases, one should respect his\her parents [i],;
Having deep respect and great affection for them;
Being humble, using a gentle voice and kind words when talking to them;
Praying and asking mercy for them (17:24), whether they are alive or not;
Offering father the property, honor, and life [2];
The rights of the mother are superior to those of father [3] such that they can never be returned unless with divine providence.
A detailed review of husbands’ duties was presented in another article. These duties can be summarized as:
Paying the marriage portion (Sedaq);
Paying for the living expenses of the wife (Nafaqah) [4];
Paying wife for the house chores if she asks for [ii], [5];
Treating the family well, including wife;
Helping the wife in house chores [6];
Ignoring minor errors of wife and forgiving her major mistakes.
The rights of the husband over his wife have been fully discussed before. Briefly:
Husband as the manager of the family is the only person who is fully responsible for all affairs of the family. Accordingly, every member of the family should obey him;
Wife as the source of peace and solace to the husband (30:21) has to submit herself to her husband except during menstruation sexually [iii].
The rights of children over parents begin before the conception and continue a lifetime. These rights already discussed in previous articles, can be summarized as:
Great care for the act of conception emphasized in Islamic teachings, which are important for the physical, mental and spiritual health of the child in the future;
Providing the necessary care for mother during the pregnancy to give birth to a healthy baby;
Reciting the Call to Prayer in the ears of the newborn];
Giving the baby a proper name at birth;
Breastfeeding the baby until the approximate age of two [7];
Behave the children nicely and respectfully;
Gradually familiarizing the children with religion after the age of Three [8];
Starting necessary religious education and guidance in belief and act during middle childhood;
Providing academic education at school;
Teaching them moral characteristics and attributes;
Helping the children to perceive the physical and emotional changes of puberty to experience a pleasant transition during this period;
Allowing children to participate in every decision-making in the family when they are adults.
Preparing the children for the responsibilities of married life at the age of marriage, helping them to choose a proper mate for themselves, and providing them with some of the basic needs of a small family.
Imam Ali (AS) addresses Malik Al-Ashtar in a letter and explains that “people are either your religious brother or they are humans just like you. They might make mistakes deliberately or unintentionally, as you do. Hence, forgive them just as you hope God to forgive you”. Imam Sajjad (AS) also enumerates the rights of brothers over each other [4]:
You should consider your brother as a powerful hand which is ready to help, a refuge in case of troubles, and a power upon whom you can always rely;
You should not take your brother as a weapon with which to disobey God, nor as a means by which to violate God's rights;
You should never forget to help your brother against his\her self-incitement and to support him\her against his\her enemies;
You should offer your brother wise counsel and should never leave him\her alone in case of need. However, if your brother does not obey God’s commands, you have to prefer God’s satisfaction with his\hers.
Notes:
[i] For more information, see ref. [3].
[ii] However, some of these rights depend on how the wife respects her husband’s rights.
[iii] Much care is also paid to the sexual needs of wives in Islamic teachings, and there exist enough instructions on how to satisfy them.
[iv] The term “brother” here is not confined to siblings; it also refers to every two or more companions of the same religion.
References:
- A. Javadi Amoli, “Mafatih al-Hayat”, p. 219.
- Ibn Babawayh,”Fiqh al-Ridha (AS)”, p. 334.
- A. Javadi Amoli, “Mafatih al-Hayat”, p. 224.
- Imam Zayn al-'Abidin (AS), “Treatise On Rights (Risalat al-Huquq)”.
- H. Vahid Khorasani, “Islamic Laws”, Create Space Independent Publishing, 2014, p. 393.
- A. Javadi Amoli, “Mafatih al-Hayat”, p. 257.
- S. H. al-Amili, “Wasail al-Shia”, vol. 2, p. 618
- H. F. Tabarsi, “Makarim al-akhlaq”, p. 115.