A feature that is being propagated by different types of media about Muslims and Islam is an angry and aggressive face. This is while Islam has a lot of direct commands and recommendations about controlling anger and being good-tempered. A narration from Imam Sadiq (AS) defines good-temper very well: “Good temper is to soften your attitude and clear your speech and meet your brother with kindness.” [1]
In this text, we will study the viewpoint of Islam on being good-tempered.
There are many verses of the Quran that teaches us how to interact with others. The Prophet of Islam (PBUH&HP) was sent as a role model:
“There is certainly a good exemplar for you in the Apostle of Allah—for those who look forward to Allah and the Last Day and remember Allah much.” (33:21)
This exemplar is defined in different verses of the Quran, not only by admiring the number of his prayers but with his excellent manners. Allah admires his apostle by saying:
“And indeed, you possess a great character.” (68: 4)
Therefore, when Allah tells us:
“Obey Allah and the Apostle so that you may be granted [His] mercy” (3: 132), He means that by following the characteristics of the Prophet (PBUH&HP), one can achieve success and prosperity. One of his most important features was his good-temper.
One may think that many people are not good-tempered and yet have very successful lives. However, the Quran introduces being soft and kind to people as a means of reaching goals.
Almighty Allah says to His Apostle:
“It is by Allah’s mercy that you are gentle to them; had you been harsh and hardhearted, they would have surely scattered from around you. So excuse them and plead for forgiveness for them, and consult them in the affairs, and once you are resolved, put your trust in Allah. Indeed Allah loves those who trust in Him.” (3: 159)
As it is mentioned in the above verse, Allah introduces being good-mannered and good-tempered as the essential element that made the Prophet (PBUH&HP) successful in guiding people. Also, some of the features of a good-tempered person are mentioned in this verse:
1.To be forgiving towards people’s faults and mistakes in our social or family life (Excuse them).
2.To ask Allah to forgive other people for their sins and mistakes (plead for forgiveness for them). Having this manner helps us feel real compassion towards others, and therefore, it allows us to interact with them with kindness and a good temper.
3. To give credit and respect to other people by asking their ideas even if we know better than they do (consult them in the affairs).
Imagine that if in our daily life, we try to consider these three crucial hints, how peaceful our life will become, and how influential we can become in our relations and communications.
Should we be soft and gentle to everyone? Or are there groups of people to whom we should be harsh and demanding?
Two verses in the Quran explain how Muslims should behave towards different groups of people. This verse of the Quran: “Muhammad, the Apostle of Allah, and those who are with him are hard against the faithless and merciful amongst themselves,” (48: 29) indicates that Muslims should be kind and merciful to other Muslims and harsh on those who deny the existence of Allah and the hereafter. However, when Allah orders prophet Moses (PBUH) and Aaron to go to Pharaoh to invite him to monotheism, He orders them:
“Both of you go to Pharaoh, for he has indeed rebelled. Speak to him in a gentle manner; maybe he will take admonition or fear.” (20: 43-44)
Again, in this verse, Allah introduces the importance of soft and gentle speech as an essential means of reaching goals.
Experience shows that by being good-tempered, one can become popular among others and can make his/her own life as well as others peaceful.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) says:
"being good-tempered sustains friendship.” [2]
Imam Al-Sadiq (AS) says:
“Charity and being good-tempered flourish lands and increase lifetime.” [3]
And in the words of Imam Ali (AS):
“The treasures of the provision are in being good-tempered and affability.” [4]
These verses of the Quran clearly show that if people wish to have a good life in this world and the hereafter, they need to work on themselves to control their anger and to be good-tempered in their relationships.
References:
- Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 68, p. 389
- Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 389
- Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 395
- Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 75, p. 53
The aim of my revolution is to reform the society and revive the true teachings of Islam
(Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.243)
If you don’t believe in any religion, at least be free-spirited and honest in your actions
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 45, P. 51)
I never revolted in vain, as a rebel or as a tyrant; rather, I rose seeking reformation for the nation of Islam
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 44, P. 329)
On the Day of Ashura, he addressed his companions:
“Be patient, you noble ones. Death is only a bridge which takes you from misery and loss to the vast Paradise and the eternal graces”.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 44, P. 297)
O’ people! Listen to my words and don’t hasten to start a war, so that I clarify the reason behind my revolution
(al-Shaykh al-Mufid, al-Irshad, p.253)
On the night of Ashura, he gathered his followers in his tent, put out the light and said:
“Beware that I give you permission to leave this place; there is no obligation on you anymore, and you can all leave.”
However, not even one of them left his side….
(al-Shaykh al-Mufid, al-Irshad, p. 250)
joBe steadfast and firm in the way toward what is right, even if your journey is full of pain and challenges.
(Usul al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 28)
Death with dignity is better than a life of abasement.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 44, P. 192)
By God, I will never surrender to my enemies like a humiliated person and never pledge allegiance to them like slaves
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 45, P. 7)
To me, death for the sake of what is right, is nothing but happiness, and living under tyrants nothing but living in a hell
(Tuhaf-al- Uqoul, P. 245)
The most incapable person is the one who can’t pray.
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol.81, p.257)
The most generous person is the one who gives to those who do not expect his help.
(Kashf al-ghumma, vol.2, p.30)
Try to compete with one another in good deeds and hurry to seize the opportunities, and forget the good deeds that you haven’t hastened to do.
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol.57, p.121)
People are slaves of this world. Religion is just what they say. They use it as long as it provides them with their living. When they are tested, there remain only a few true religious ones.
(Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.245)
If you worship Allah the way He deserves to be worshipped, He will fulfill all your wishes, and bless you much more than what you deserve.
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 68, p.184)
God will help the person who cares about other people’s needs, both in this world and the hereafter.
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol.75, p.121)
17. Having Faith in Allah
O’ Allah! What has gained the one who has not found You, and what has lost the one who has found You?
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol.95, p.226)
Avoid oppressing the one who does not have any supporter against you, other than the Almighty God.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 78, P. 118)
When Allah chooses to favor someone, makes him/her the source of satisfying other people's needs.
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol.74, p.205.)
Beware! Do not be among those who are concerned about the sins of others while neglectful of their own sins.
(al-Kafi, vol.8, p.49, Hadith #9)
One who reveals your faults to you like a mirror is your true friend, and one who flatters you and covers up your faults is your enemy.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 78, P. 128)
Whoever seeks the satisfaction of people through disobedience of Allah; Then Allah subjects him to people.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 78, P. 126)
Wisdom will not be gained, unless through following the right path.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 78, P. 127)
Say what you like to be said about you, in the absence of your fellow believer.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 127)
Avoid doing things that would make you apologize; since a believer won’t commit a wrong action that would make him/her sorry.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 120)
If you lead your actions through committing sins and disobeying Allah, your intentions won’t be fulfilled and will be caught in what you fear most.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 120)
Kindness elevates human beings, and faithfulness is the sign of decency.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 122)
Extremism is like going down in a swamp, and keeping company with abject and corrupt ones will bring evil and misery for you.
(Kashf al-ghumma, vol.2, p.30)
29. Knowledge
Seeking knowledge will lead you toward wisdom and elevation.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 128)
Visiting relatives and keeping in touch with them will bring you a longer and more substantial life.
(Al-Shaykh al-Saduq, Oyoun Akhbar Al-Ridha, vol.2, p.44)
The most generous person is the one who forgives while in power.
(Kashf al-ghumma, vol.2, p.29)
The best way of maintaining family ties is through visiting the ones who have cut ties with you and haven’t visited you for a while.
(Kashf al-ghumma, vol.2, p.29)
Whoever helps his/her fellow in religion for the sake of Allah, He will compensate for him/her and eliminate the hardships from his/her life. Also, whoever relieves a believer’s grief, Allah will free him/her of his/her pains and sufferings in this world and the other world.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 121)
Only trust those who believe in Allah and are afraid of His questioning on the Day of Judgement.
(Al-Shaykh al-Saduq, Jameh al- Akhbar, p.97)
While on his way to Karbala, Imam Hussain (AS) said: “I cannot have whoever owes a debt in my company. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) used to say: ‘whoever dies while owing to other people, his/her good deeds will be void in the hereafter.’”
(Kalimat al-Imam al-Hussain (AS) (Words of Imam Hussain), p.417)
Gain people’s praise with your efforts and successes, and do not expose yourself to people’s blames through laziness and lethargy.
(Kashf al-ghumma, vol.2, p.29)
Long and numerous experiences strengthens your mind.
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 75, P. 128)
(Bihar-al- Anwar, Vol. 78, P. 119)
Do not say something which would undermine your self-worth.
(Muhammad Baqer al-Majlisi, Jala’a al-Oyoun, vol.2, p.205)
Observe your physical health in your lifetime.
(Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.239)
No matter if you were born a Muslim or you’ve just converted to Islam; understanding the Quran may be hard for you, because the Holy Quran, unlike any other books, is not classified in chronological or in subject order. You can see that in many cases Quranic stories are repeated in different chapters with slight differences. And when you start reading one chapter, you realize that the topic changes from one point to another. You may think that there are many sudden transitions in the Quran that make understanding it much harder for you, especially if you don’t know Arabic language and you use a translation.
There are also some verses that have been revealed in specific contexts, and you may never understand the meaning or the wisdom behind that verse if you don’t know about the context. As well as translating the Quran into your language, using a dictionary, may not help you understand the whole concept of a verse or a chapter.
Here we are going to share some tips that you may find them useful in the way of understanding the holy Quran and therefore learning more from it.
At the beginning of the Holy Quran, Allah mentions that this book about whose truth is no doubt will be a guide for pious people. [1] Those “who believe in the Unseen, maintain the prayer, and spend out of what We have provided for them; and who believe in what has been sent down to you and what was sent down before you, and are certain of the Hereafter. And who believe in what has been sent down to you and what was sent down before you, and are certain of the Hereafter.” (2: 2-4)
Here, God is enumerating the characteristics of those for whom the Quran will be guidance. It means that if a person does not have the above characteristics, he should not expect to be guided by the Quran. Therefore, one of the steps of understanding the Quran is to discover and obey its basic rules and regulations.
“Indeed this Quran guides to what is most upright, and gives the good news to the faithful who do righteous deeds that there is a great reward for them.” (17: 9)
Before finding solutions on how to understand the Quran, we need to find out the probable reasons for which the Quran is a hard book for us. As mentioned in the Quran, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) complains to Allah “O my Lord! Indeed my people consigned this Quran to oblivion.” (25: 30)
Hence, if one does not read at least a few verses of the Quran every day, he should not expect to comprehend its messages. However, for those who recite the Quran and are eager to grasp its insights, there are some instructions given by Allah.
“When the Quran is recited, listen to it and be silent, so you may receive [Allah’s] mercy.” (7: 204)
When you go to a classroom, and the teacher is describing something, you need to respect and adhere to the rules of the classroom. It is much more important to be polite and pious while we are being spoken to and taught by God. And as mentioned in the above verse, if we abide by the rules and be respectful, the real teacher of this world will start to teach us. Allah (SWT) promises in the Quran “Be wary of Allah and Allah will teach you, and Allah has knowledge of all things.” (2: 282) Allah enjoins his most faithful servants to ask Allah for knowledge. [2]
It is based on the same reason that Allah gives his pious servants knowledge and wisdom. “When he came of age, We gave him judgment and [sacred] knowledge, and thus do We reward the virtuous.” (12:22).
As you see in this verse, the requirement of gaining knowledge and wisdom from God is to be virtuous. Real knowledge and wisdom is not something that you can learn in any university or school or workshop. Wisdom is something given by God to His chosen people. And as mentioned at the beginning of this article, the chosen people who take the best benefits from the Quran are those who are pious, believe in the unseen, pray and give charity, and believe in all holy books. [3]
“…So recite as much of the Quran as is feasible...” (73: 20)
More important than listening to the Quran, is reciting it. In the above verse, God recommends us twice in one verse to recite the Quran as much as possible. This shows that even if we do not understand the real meanings behind the verses, the miraculous characteristics of the Quran will influence us. One of these characteristics as mentioned in the Quran is that when a person recites the Quran God will “draw a hidden curtain between you and those who do not believe in the Hereafter…” (17: 45- 46)
“Do they not contemplate the Quran?” (4:82)
Some people are very much concerned about reading a considerable number of verses every day. It is not condemnable as God Himself recommends us to do so. But let’s keep in mind that quality is sometimes more important than quantity.
Since the Quran was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) gradually, some faithless people were complaining why the Quran is not revealed to him at once. Allah (SWT) replied the reason: “So it was, that We may strengthen your heart with it, and We have recited it [to you] in a measured tone.” (25: 32)
Therefore, if we want to understand the Quran comprehensively, we should recite it gently, so that we can contemplate its verses.
“… Ask the People of the Reminder if you do not know.” (21: 7)
God tells us to refer to people of wisdom and knowledge and ask them our questions if we cannot reach the answers by ourselves. With regards to Quranic questions, reading or listening to different interpretations of the Quran can be a great help. Different Quran interpreters have discovered different points about the meanings of Quranic verses.
The knowledge in interpretation of the Quran is limitless, and each commentator can find out some points about a verse, and there are still many points that have not been known. And it is one of the miraculous aspects of the Quran; that every individual may understand its points based on his/her conditions of time and place. That is why in Quranic interpretations there is always space for growth in understanding the meanings. Hence, do not stick to one interpretation and try to read and listen to different commentaries. Then you can compare them to each other, and at some points, with the help of Allah, you might find some new points about specific verses.
“We did not send any apostle except with the language of his people so that he might make [Our messages] clear to them.” (14:4)
This verse shows that there should be many different reasons for which the Quran was revealed in the Arabic language; the most important reason is that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) was sent in a specific place and time and to people of a specific language. Perhaps it’s better for you to get familiar with Quranic Arabic which is not as hard as you think. Many of the words used in the Quran are repeated many times. This way you can start to memorize Quranic words that are most common, and gradually increase your knowledge of Quranic Arabic.
There is no problem in reading the translation of the Quran, as well as it is not a required condition for being a Muslim. But believe it or not, the joy of understanding the Quran in its real language is so different from reading the translation. It is like watching movies, with subtitles. We may understand the main points, but the real feeling is not conveyed to us.
In this article, we tried not to use any other sources other than the Quran itself to guide us in the way of understanding it.
"We send down in the Quran that which is a cure and mercy for the faithful, and it increases the wrongdoers only in loss.” (17: 82)
Therefore, as you try and read and obey the orders of Allah as mentioned above, make sure that He will reward your eagerness in understanding it by teaching it to you in a miraculous way.
References:
- The Quran (2:1)
- The Quran (20: 114)
- The Quran (2:1)