A feature that is being propagated by different types of media about Muslims and Islam is an angry and aggressive face. This is while Islam has a lot of direct commands and recommendations about controlling anger and being good-tempered. A narration from Imam Sadiq (AS) defines good-temper very well: “Good temper is to soften your attitude and clear your speech and meet your brother with kindness.” [1]
In this text, we will study the viewpoint of Islam on being good-tempered.
There are many verses of the Quran that teaches us how to interact with others. The Prophet of Islam (PBUH&HP) was sent as a role model:
“There is certainly a good exemplar for you in the Apostle of Allah—for those who look forward to Allah and the Last Day and remember Allah much.” (33:21)
This exemplar is defined in different verses of the Quran, not only by admiring the number of his prayers but with his excellent manners. Allah admires his apostle by saying:
“And indeed, you possess a great character.” (68: 4)
Therefore, when Allah tells us:
“Obey Allah and the Apostle so that you may be granted [His] mercy” (3: 132), He means that by following the characteristics of the Prophet (PBUH&HP), one can achieve success and prosperity. One of his most important features was his good-temper.
One may think that many people are not good-tempered and yet have very successful lives. However, the Quran introduces being soft and kind to people as a means of reaching goals.
Almighty Allah says to His Apostle:
“It is by Allah’s mercy that you are gentle to them; had you been harsh and hardhearted, they would have surely scattered from around you. So excuse them and plead for forgiveness for them, and consult them in the affairs, and once you are resolved, put your trust in Allah. Indeed Allah loves those who trust in Him.” (3: 159)
As it is mentioned in the above verse, Allah introduces being good-mannered and good-tempered as the essential element that made the Prophet (PBUH&HP) successful in guiding people. Also, some of the features of a good-tempered person are mentioned in this verse:
1.To be forgiving towards people’s faults and mistakes in our social or family life (Excuse them).
2.To ask Allah to forgive other people for their sins and mistakes (plead for forgiveness for them). Having this manner helps us feel real compassion towards others, and therefore, it allows us to interact with them with kindness and a good temper.
3. To give credit and respect to other people by asking their ideas even if we know better than they do (consult them in the affairs).
Imagine that if in our daily life, we try to consider these three crucial hints, how peaceful our life will become, and how influential we can become in our relations and communications.
Should we be soft and gentle to everyone? Or are there groups of people to whom we should be harsh and demanding?
Two verses in the Quran explain how Muslims should behave towards different groups of people. This verse of the Quran: “Muhammad, the Apostle of Allah, and those who are with him are hard against the faithless and merciful amongst themselves,” (48: 29) indicates that Muslims should be kind and merciful to other Muslims and harsh on those who deny the existence of Allah and the hereafter. However, when Allah orders prophet Moses (PBUH) and Aaron to go to Pharaoh to invite him to monotheism, He orders them:
“Both of you go to Pharaoh, for he has indeed rebelled. Speak to him in a gentle manner; maybe he will take admonition or fear.” (20: 43-44)
Again, in this verse, Allah introduces the importance of soft and gentle speech as an essential means of reaching goals.
Experience shows that by being good-tempered, one can become popular among others and can make his/her own life as well as others peaceful.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) says:
"being good-tempered sustains friendship.” [2]
Imam Al-Sadiq (AS) says:
“Charity and being good-tempered flourish lands and increase lifetime.” [3]
And in the words of Imam Ali (AS):
“The treasures of the provision are in being good-tempered and affability.” [4]
These verses of the Quran clearly show that if people wish to have a good life in this world and the hereafter, they need to work on themselves to control their anger and to be good-tempered in their relationships.
References:
- Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 68, p. 389
- Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 389
- Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 395
- Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 75, p. 53
Once Mu’aviah, the first Umayyad Caliph, ordered Sa’d ibn Abi-Waqass -a famous companion of the Prophet (PBUH & HP)- to insult Imam Ali (AS). Mu’aviah was the enemy of Imam Ali (AS) and would order people to say bad things about him in public. But Sa’d refused to do that.Mu’aviah said: why don’t you insult “Aba-Turab” (Imam Ali)? Sa’d replied: I won’t insult Aba-Turab because I remember him in three events that if those had happened to me it would be better for me than having so many red camels (symbol of richness) Sa’d narrated three stories about Imam Ali (AS) but, here, we mention the third one:
… Once this verse was revealed to the Prophet (PBUH&HP):
فَمَنْ حَاجَّكَ فِيهِ مِن بَعْدِ مَا جَاءَكَ مِنَ الْعِلْمِ فَقُلْ تَعَالَوْا نَدْعُ أَبْنَاءَنَا وَأَبْنَاءَكُمْ وَنِسَاءَنَا وَنِسَاءَكُمْ وَأَنفُسَنَا وَأَنفُسَكُمْ ثُمَّ نَبْتَهِلْ فَنَجْعَل لَّعْنَتَ اللَّهِ عَلَى الْكَاذِبِينَ ﴿٦١﴾
Should anyone argue with you concerning him (Jesus), after the knowledge that has come to you, say, ‘Come! Let us call our sons and your sons, our women and your women, our souls and your souls, then let us pray earnestly, and call down Allah’s curse upon the liars.’ (61) (The Holy Quran, 3:61)
The Prophet (PBUH & HP) called Ali, Fatimah, Hassan and Hussain and then said: “O God! These are my family” (1)
When Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) sent messages to the kings around the world and invited them to Islam, he also wrote a letter to the bishop of Najran’s church (a city in Arabia).
They sent a group of priests and Christian scholars to talk with the Prophet (PBUH & HP) and discuss with him on the Message of Islam. They discussed on the question: Is Jesus the son of God or not?
Each side insisted on their beliefs and the Christians wouldn’t accept that their belief is wrong. Then this verse was revealed to the Prophet (PBUH & HP):
Indeed the case of Jesus with Allah is like the case of Adam: He created him (Adam) from dust, then said to him, ‘Be,’ and he was. (59) This is the truth from your Lord, so do not be among the skeptics. (60) Should anyone argue with you concerning him (Jesus), after the knowledge that has come to you, say, ‘Come! Let us call our sons and your sons, our women and your women, our souls and your souls, then let us pray earnestly, and call down Allah’s curse upon the liars.’ (61) (The Holy Quran, 3:59-61)
So Allah said to the Prophet (PBUH & HP) that the only way to clarify which side is telling the truth is Mubahala.
When two groups of people have an argument with each other, after so many discussions with no results, they come to a place and call down Allah’s curse upon the liars. They pray that Allah punishes the ones who tell lies right in the time. This is called Mubahala.
So, both sides agreed and promised to be present on a specific day (Du al-Hijjah the 24th) in the desert for Mubahala. In the morning of Mubahala day, the Messenger of Allah came to Imam Ali’s house and took Imam Hassan and Imam Hussain’s hands. The Prophet, Imam Ali, Lady Fatimah, Imam Hassan and Imam Hussain went to the desert.
When the Christians saw them, asked: who are those people with Muhammad?
They were answered: that man is his cousin and son in law. He loves Ali the most. Those children are his grandsons and that woman is his lovely daughter.
The Christians said: Muhammad is sitting there like the real Prophets. If he wasn’t right, he wouldn’t bring the closest ones with him for Mubahala. He must be so sure about his message. If we participate in this Mubahala, there will be no Christian left in Najran till next year.
So they refused to participate in the Mubahala and went back to Najran.
• Hakim an-Neisaboori, one of the most prominent Sunni scholars, says:
“There are so many historical records concerning this event that the Messenger (PBUH & HP) brought Ali, Fatimah, Hassan and Hussain in the Mubahala day and then said: “these are our sons and our souls and our women so you (Christians) bring your sons and souls and women for Mubahala so that we call down Allah’s curse on the liars” (2)
• Ibn Kathir, another great Sunni scholar also admits that this verse is about Imam Ali, Lady Fatimah, Imam Hassan and Imam Hussain. He says that Jabir ibn Abdullah al-Ansari (one of the most important companions of the Prophet) said:
“By ‘our souls’ Allah means the Prophet (PBUH & HP) and Imam Ali (AS)” (3)
Here soul, in Arabic culture, means that Imam Ali (AS) is so close to the Prophet (PBUH & HP) that there is no difference between him and the Prophet; it’s like they are one soul in two bodies. Obviously, the only difference is that Imam Ali is not a prophet but on the other levels Imam Ali and the Prophet are the same.
Sheik Mufid, one of the greatest Shiite scholars, narrates a dialogue between Imam Reza (AS) and Ma’moon (an Abbasid Caliph):
Once, Ma’moon asked Imam Reza (AS) about the best privilege of Imam Ali (AS) that the Quran has mentioned.
Imam Reza (AS) said: it is the event of Mubahala. In that day when the verse was revealed to the Prophet (PBUH&HP), he called Imam Hassan and Imam Hussain, who were his sons, Lady Fatimah, who was the woman mentioned in the Quran, and finally Imam Ali which was the soul mentioned in the Book.
Imam Reza (AS) also said: clearly the Prophet (PBUH & HP) is the most supreme person in the world. So it is obvious that his soul which is Imam Ali is also the most supreme creature.
Ma’moon said: why don’t you think that here soul means the Prophet himself and no one else?
Imam Reza (AS) said: because it doesn’t make sense to call yourself and bring yourself for Mubahala. When you call somebody or order somebody to come with you, it is obvious that the person is not yourself. And we all know that the Prophet brought no one except Imam Ali; so undoubtedly, Imam Ali is his soul.
Ma’moon said: with this answer, there is no question left! (4)
Resources
- Sahih Muslim, vol.4, Pg.1871
- Ma’rifah al-Olum al-Hadith, Hakim an-Neisaboori, vol.1, Pg.50
- Tafsir al-Quran al-Azim, Ibn Kathir, published by dar al-Kotob al-Elmiyah, vol.2, Pg.47
- Al-Fosul al-Mukhtarah, Sheik Mufid, vol.1, Pg.38
Trusting in Allah is the expense for achieving whatever worthwhile and the ladder toward whatever elevating.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.78, p.364.
Feeling Allah in every breath is more advantageous than exhausting your body in worshipping Him.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.78, p.364.
The believer is in need of Allah's favor, his/her inner guide, and being open to the goodwill of the well-wishers.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p. 457.
Visiting your friends, even for a short time, improves your health and elevates your mind.
al-Shaykh al-Mufid, Al-Amali, p.329.
Trusting someone before making sure [of his/her personality] ends up in pain and catastrophe.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-Anwar, vol.78, p.364.
The believer prospers in not depending on others.
al-Shaykh al-Mufid, Al-Amali, p.109.
Life reveals the hidden secrets to you, [as it goes by].
al-Shaykh al-Mufid, Al-Amali, p.365.
Know that you are constantly under Allah's supervision, so beware of yourself.
Ibn Shu'ba al-Harrani, Tuhaf al-'uqul, p. 455.
If you approve of a wrong deed, you will be considered to have a share in committing it.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-Anwar, vol.75, p.82.
Whoever turns to anyone other than Allah, Allah will leave his/her matters to that other person.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.68, p.155.
Don't pretend to be Allah's friend while being His enemy in secret.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p.365.
If you are confused about entering a deed, you'll be desperate in coming out of it.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p.364.
You receive affection through gaining three characteristics; being fair in your relations, sympathizing [with others] in their hardship and happiness, and keeping your heart unstained [from sins].
Baha' al-Din 'Ali b. 'Isa al-Irbili, Kashf al-ghumma fi ma'rifat al-a'imma, vol.3, p.139.
Avoid befriending a mischievous person, since he/she is like a bare blade whose look is alluring, while its impact [wound] is hideous.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.74, p.198.
The good that generous people do for others benefits them more than the ones in need of help since its reward, honor, and reputation belong to them. Therefore, any favor that one does first benefits him/herself. So he/she shouldn't expect to be gratified for what he/she has done.
Baha' al-Din 'Ali b. 'Isa al-Irbili, Kashf al-ghumma fi ma'rifat al-a'imma, vol.3, p.137.
The best worship is sincerity in [intention].
Warram b. Abi Firas al-Hilli, Tanbih al-khawatir wa nuzhat al-nawazir , vol.2, p.109.
When you listen to a speaker, you have turned into his/her slave (follower); if the speaker's words are directed toward Allah Almighty, the listener has glorified Allah, and if his/her words are directed toward Satan, the listener has worshipped Satan.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.6, p.434.
The blessing, which is not gratified, is like a sin, which has not forgiven.
Hasan ibn Muhammad Deilami, Aalam al-din fi Sifat al-Moumenin, p.309.
The least punishment of the one who relies on a mischievous person is being deprived of his/her aspiration.
Aziz Allah, Atarodi, Mosnad Imam al-Jawad (AS), p.248.
Unwise words cause many disputes.
Sabbagh al-Maliki, Al-Fusul al-muhimma fi ma'rifat al-a'imma, p.274.
If you stay pious despite being in a chaotic situation, Allah will bestow His mercy upon you and show you a way out.
Sabbagh al-Maliki, Al-Fusul al-muhimma fi ma'rifat al-a'imma, p.274.
Death is like your sleep at night, except that the fatal sleep is longer, and you won't wake up from it until the Day of Judgement.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.3, p.134.
The needs are requested by hope and answered by divine will. Undoubtedly, the best blessing is well-being.
Hasan ibn Muhammad Deilami, Aalam al-din fi Sifat al-Moumenin, p.309.
The one whom Allah is his/her trustee and guardian will never go astray or get disappointed.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.68, p.155.
Whoever desires Allah will surely be saved.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.68, p.155.
Unexpected incidents and calamities will devour the one who lacks foresight.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.68, p.340.
Blaming people without any evidence or reason causes anger and distress, and they will never forgive you for this.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.71, p.181.
If you are sure about the piety, faith, and trustworthiness of your daughter's suitor, agree to his request; otherwise, it will lead to great misfortune and ruin.
Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol.5, p.347.
There will be no dispute among people if the ignorant remain silent.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p. 81.
Whoever accepts and submits [to a task, command, etc.] without considering its different aspects, has exposed him/herself to destruction and distress.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p. 364.
People will be dependent on the one who, by relying on Allah, considers himself independent. And the pious will naturally be favored by people even if they aren't pious themselves.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p. 79.
Strive in gaining knowledge and wisdom, and know that learning is obligatory (Wajib) and discussing [what has been learned] is recommended (Mustahab).
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p. 80.
Knowledge is the means of helping friends and relatives, the reason for and sign of fairness, a gift and means of entertainment in gatherings, the human's companion in travel, and one's mate in lonely times.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p. 80.
Modesty and humility are the adornments of knowledge and wisdom.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p. 91.
Politeness and being good-natured are signs of reason and forbearance.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p. 91.
Rely on patience in all your life, see poverty as your companion, and stand against your whims and impulses.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p. 358.
One should perform prayer (Salat) in a modest manner.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.74, p. 131.
The conditions for your repentance to be accepted by Allah are feeling regret at heart, asking for forgiveness by the tongue, compensating for your mistakes, and being determined not to commit those sins again.
Baha' al-Din 'Ali b. 'Isa al-Irbili, Kashf al-ghumma fi ma'rifat al-a'imma, vol.2, p.349.
There are two kinds of knowledge; one is heard, and the other is practiced [besides being heard]. There is no use in the knowledge that is heard but not practiced.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p. 80.
The one who does an injustice, the one who participates in it, and the one who is content with it all have a share in it.
al-'Allama al-Majlisi, Bihar al-anwar, vol.75, p. 81.