Do you find your temper on a short fuse when confronting your teenage child? Do you get mad when somebody cuts you off while driving? Don’t these make you clench your jaws, have a rapid heart rate, sweat or tremble?
We all have experienced these physical reactions to anger. In fact, anger is a normal healthy emotion. But when out of control, it can turn destructive and lead to many problems. This article will help us learn how to keep our anger under control and to act more appropriately to lessen the impact it has on our daily life.
As defined in Cambridge dictionary anger is “a strong feeling that makes you want to hurt someone or be unpleasant because of something unfair or unkind that has happened” [1]. It is typical of a human’s behavior to get angry when he/ she is deceived, irritated, attacked or mistreated. If used correctly, anger can be profitable in helping us distinguish between right and wrong.
It can also motivate us to make a change and speak up for ourselves. In some cases, however, it becomes really difficult to manage our anger. This will most probably affect our relationships and lead us to say or do things that we later regret.
That is why the religion of Islam attaches so much importance to controlling this natural human behavior. Imam Sadiq (AS) says in a narration that the one who has no control over his/her anger has no control over his reason [2].
Sometimes you get so angry that you cannot think straight and are unable to make sound decisions. That’s when anger could be a breeding ground for many evils. As Imam Sadiq (AS) puts: “(uncontrolled) anger is the key (that opens the door) to all kinds of vices” [3]
Based on vast scientific studies, anger can determine various mental or physical diseases and many other deadly risks. This includes the increase in the number of road accidents, violent crimes, etc.:
“Chronic anger and anxiety can disrupt cardiac function by changing the heart’s electrical stability, hastening atherosclerosis, and increasing systemic inflammation” [4] “Research also shows that even one five-minute episode of anger is so stressful that it can impair your immune system for more than six hours” [5]. Studies have linked anger to mental health problems like depression, loneliness, anxiety, eating and sleep disorders, phobias, and obsessive-compulsive behavior as well. [6]
Since this emotional behavior is hard to control and sometimes makes us commit irrational deeds, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) introduces the most courageous person as the one who does not let these negative feelings take over and can overcome his/her anger [7]. Such a person is virtuous in the eyes of Allah:
“those who spend in ease and adversity, and suppress their anger, and excuse [the faults of] the people, and Allah loves the virtuous” (3:134)
Fortunately, Islam recommends some ways to control and overcome anger in our life:
When you find something annoying, you can either choose to vent your frustrations or cool down and take a minute to think twice about the negative consequences that inevitably follow the expression of anger. Why don’t you find some way to put yourself in other people’s shoes? Don’t you want to give yourself a chance to turn that anger to love?
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) says: “the best people are those who do not get angry easily and get satisfied (calm down) quickly.”
Saying the prayer or any other act of worship can help you tame your anger. Pray for yourself and the person or the situation that has made you angry. Remember Allah and ask Him to soften your heart and help you in forgiving others.
The Holy Prophet (PBUH&HP) has said: “Anger comes from Satan, and Satan was created from fire. Fire is put out by water; so when you become angry, perform ablution (Wudu) with water” [8].
Nowadays scientists have proven how changing your posture can affect your mood, your energy level as well as the ability to generate positive and negative thoughts. “According to one study from Texans A&M University, lying down can reduce feelings of anger and hostility” [9].
It has also been reported from Imam Baqir (AS) that: “Verily, anger is a spark ignited by the Devil in the human heart. Indeed, when anyone of you gets angry, his eyes become red, the veins of his neck become swollen, and Satan enters them. Therefore, whosoever among you is concerned about himself on account of it; he should lie down for a while so that the filth of Satan may be removed from him at the time” [10].
A Chinese proverb says If you are patient in the moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. So, it is not wise to be swift in seeking revenge. It has also been narrated from Imam Ali (AS) that the best revenge at the time of anger is to show forbearance [11]. When you are fuming over something, before any reaction, ask yourself if you want to live a life filled with vengeful and angry thoughts or a peaceful and decent life in which you try to forgive patiently. Which one would you choose?
Imam Ali (AS) says: “Anger is a very bad companion, it reveals your flaws, brings the evil near and distances the good” [12].
It is narrated from Imam Ali (AS) that the most powerful people in recognition of the right are the ones who do not get angry [13].
Imam Ali (AS) introduces anger management as a way of developing wisdom [14]. Since a wise person would never do anything regrettable at the time of anger.
Imam Sadiq (AS) has said: “If someone got angry with you three times but did not insult you, then choose him/her as a friend” [15]. In another narration, Imam Ali (AS) says making your friend angry will lead to separation from her/him [16].
Imam Ali (AS) has advised us to keep silent at the time of anger: “Protect yourself from anger for its beginning is insanity and its end is remorse” [17].
Anger management will also make you close to the holy infallible Imams and follow in their footsteps. Then you will become a dignified person who deserves to be saved from Allah’s wrath both in this world and the hereafter.
“Muhammad, the Apostle of Allah, and those who are with him are hard against the faithless and merciful amongst themselves” (48:29)
As stated above anger can be constructive too. When managed well, anger has no or very few detrimental consequences. Instead, it is a warning sign of corruption or an evil action; that something around you is not right. It then motives you to take action to correct the wrong. In such cases, Muslims are recommended to express anger for the right, to defend the good, and only to gain Allah’s satisfaction.
Yet, how you end up handling the anger is of great importance, too. As Muslims, we are not allowed to violate anyone’s right or act indecently at the time of anger. All our actions should be based on rational considerations and the Divine laws. Imam Sadiq (AS) says in this regard: “A believer is a person who when angered, his/her anger does not lead him away from that which is true” [18].
References:
- anger
- al-Kafi, v. 2, p. 305, no. 13
- al‑Kafi, vol. 2, p. 303, hadith 3
- happiness stress heart disease
- emotional wellness
- harmfull effects of holding anger
- Nahj al-Fasaha, p. 549, hadith 1872
- Nahj al-Fasaha, p. 286, hadith 660
- movement can feel you better
- Al-Kulayni, Usul al-Kafi, Vol. III.
- Tasnif ghurar al-hikam wa-durar al-kalim, p. 285, hadith 6400
- ibid, p. 302, hadith 6893
- ibid, p246, hadith 5062
- ibid, p. 242, hadith 4919
- Ma’dan al-Jawahir, p. 34
- Naj al-Balaqa (Sobhi Salih), p. 559, hadith 480
- Al-Amidi, Gharar ul-Hikam wa darar ul-Kalim, hadith 2635
- Al-Kulayni, al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 186, hadith 11
- anger in islam
There are many cruel incidents in the history of humankind, in which millions of people have been violently killed. Two of the deadliest and the most notorious wars in the history each of us know and have heard about are the First and the Second World Wars, with an ultimate death toll estimated at over 100 million people. An indisputable fact about the Second World War is that it wiped out around 3 percent of the world population at the time. Some other gruesome conflicts the world has ever seen, with large numbers of casualties, include: Chinese Civil War (1850-1864,25 million deaths), Qing Conquests (17th Century, 25 million deaths), War of Three Kingdoms, 2nd & 3rd Centuries CE, 38 million deaths), Mongol Invasions (13th & 14th Centuries, 55 million deaths), and etc.
Have you heard the names of the latter wars before? If yes, can you recall who the oppressors and the oppressed ones were? Why don’t people commemorate the anniversary of these important battles each year? Why isn't there so much passion, excitement, or motivation to honor the heroes that fought courageously in those wars?
There is one battle in the history of the human race, however, that has not faded from the memory of humans yet- after about fourteen hundred years-, is still commemorated and celebrated year after year with more passion, love, and excitement. That is the anniversary of Imam Hussain (AS) and his companions’ martyrdom at the battle of Karbala on the 10th of Muharram of the year 61 AH.
Why do you think the reason behind Imam Hussain's (AS) movement was that made it endure so long? Whereas many other wars throughout history during which millions of oppressed people have been killed, have been forgotten?!
While for many leaders and commanders of wars, the only purpose is to gain victory by any means, for Imam Hussain (AS), the end does not justify the means. What mattered to him more than anything else in the battle of Karbala was the values, not the victory in its apparent sense. He never disregarded human values or committed even one minor sin to achieve his purpose.
He did not also seek out a large army to fulfill his aim, whereas most of the other commanders always try to increase their troops in wars. It is narrated in an account, on the night before Ashura, Imam Hussain (AS) asked all his companions to leave Karbala without any restrictions to save their own lives.
If you take a look at the general overviews of why wars happen, you will clearly see people have been involved in wars for some common reasons over the years. Some of these reasons include: economic gain, territorial gain, nationalism, taking revenge, etc.
Imam Hussain (AS), however, fought in the battle of Karbala for none of the reasons above. He did not want to invade or conquer a city or a country, nor did he want to impose his beliefs and religion upon people. The only thing he aimed in his movement was not to be oppressed by a cruel tyrant. He was unwilling to compromise with the tyrant of his time because he had violated their very fundamental human rights. He put his life and his family at risk to recognize and maintain human dignity.
As mentioned above, while many warriors of either side of the battle have different motives to fight, like financial gains, promotions, etc., Imam Hussain (AS)’s companions in the battle of Karbala fought for no other reason than sincerely following in their Imam’s footstep and remain loyal to him. They didn’t even long for Heaven or the rewards of Hereafter. In an account, on the day of Ashura at noon prayer, one of Imam Hussain (AS)’s companions -named Saeed bin Abdullah Hanafi- saved Imam’s life, shielding him against arrows and spears thrown to him and other prayer performers. He continued doing this until the prayers finished. He then fell down before his Imam (AS), saying: “O son of the Prophet (PBUH&HP) of Allah! Have I fulfilled my promise?” “Yes! You have,” the Imam replied. Saeed bin Abdullah then left this world smiling.
And on the night before Ashura Imam Hussain (AS) once again gave all his companions the opportunity to rethink their choice and freely decide whether to stay or leave. However, they not only did not leave or escape –as many other warriors in different battles- but insisted on staying with the Imam (AS) in spite of all the dangers that were threatening their lives and families. They resisted to the last drop of their blood, and courageously declared their loyalty to their Imam (AS).
And finally, when it comes to the way different sides of a battle deal with their enemies, the only things that come to your mind are probably humiliation, disrespect, foul language, etc. But these are not even close to how Imam Hussain (AS) treated his enemy. He recognized his enemy’s dignity as a human being in the most challenging situations, never insulted or disrespected them, and seized every opportunity to invite them to peace and stop the war.
So these were very few reasons why Imam Hussain (AS)’s movement has not faded from our memory; because this historical event is an enlightening and life-giving truth that nurtures self-sacrificing, honest, and moral people who treat everyone with dignity and respect even when confronted with the enemy. That’s why when Arbaeen comes, about twenty million people head for Karbala since Imam Hussain (AS) and his companions did not fight for worldly desires. They fought for eternity, and for the sake of their creator, Allah Almighty.
References:
If your right were taken away unfairly, what would be your reaction? Of course, you would stand up for your right and try to take it back or maybe fight for it. What if this reaction would make everything worse? What if you realize that your compromise, leads into the greater good of yourself or even the society? Fighting against injustice, sometimes, includes sacrifices, which goes beyond egotistic and individual desires. Depending on the situation, one might be made to compromise and sacrifice his/her right for the sake of his/her higher purpose, while having the power to take his/her right back. And this can only be done by a spiritually and mentally powerful person, such as Imam Hasan al-Mujtaba (AS), the first grandson of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP).
In what follows, we will review the life of this exceptional figure in the history of Islam.
Hasan ibn Ali (AS), known as Hasan al-Mujtaba (AS), was born on 15th of Ramadan, 1st of March, 625 A.D. in Medina. He was the first son of Imam Ali (AS) and Lady Fatima (AS), and the first grandson of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP). His name, "Hasan," which means good or beautiful, and was chosen by his grandfather, the Prophet (PBUH&HP), for him, having no precedent in this name in the pre-Islamic history.
Imam Hasan (AS) was only seven years old when Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) passed away. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) dearly loved him, and as it is narrated, he used to put Imam Hasan (AS) on his shoulders and said, "O' Allah! I love him, therefore, You love him, too." [1] In some instances, while Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) was performing the congregational prayer in the mosque, Imam Hasan (AS), then a little boy, would go on Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH&HP) back while he was prostrating. In response, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) would kindly and patiently prolong his prostration, so that he would come down himself. Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH&HP) manner of treating his grandsons was, in fact, a model to his followers to treat their children respectfully and compassionately.
His love and respect toward Imam Hasan (AS) are evident through the many narrations left by him about his grandson: "Surely, Hasan and Hussain are my two fragrant flowers from this world; he who loves me, should love them, too" [2], "Hasan is my son and dear to my heart, whoever hurt him, is like he's hurting me" [3], "Hasan and Hussain are the masters of the youth in paradise" [4]. It has also been narrated that Imam Hasan (AS) very much looked like Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) in both appearance and personality [5]. Despite his young age, Imam Hasan (AS) was present in many significant incidents in Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH&HP) time.
After Imam Ali's (AS) tragic martyrdom in 661 A.D, many people in Iraq and the neighboring lands pledged allegiance to Imam Hasan (AS), as the most suitable person to be their Caliph succeeded by Imam Ali (AS). Nevertheless, soon after this pledge of allegiance, Mu'awiya b. Abi Sufyan [i] refused to respect people's choice and offended Imam Hasan's (AS) caliphate. He tried to incite people of Iraq by sending two spies who were captured and punished by Imam Hasan (AS) [6]. Finally, Mu'awiya provoked a rebellion in Syria against Imam Hasan (AS) and built an army to go into war with Imam (AS) in Iraq. It is reported that 60,000 soldiers or more accompanied Mu'awiya [7].
In this situation, Imam Hasan (AS) gathered an army of Kufa people to fight against them and defend the people. Some minor battles occurred between the two troops. Later, Imam Hasan (AS) joined the army of Kufa and gave a sermon to them, inviting them to unity and reconciliation rather than hatred and enmity. After this speech, people thought that Imam (AS) was after making peace with Mu'awiya and accused him of disbelief, attacked his tent, and left his side. Also, some of the heads of Imam Hasan's (AS) army, including "Ubayd Allah b. 'Abbas", the commander in chief of Imam Hasan's (AS) army, joined Mu'awiya's army with two-third of his army. Before that, Mu'awiya had sent them letters and promised them high positions in his government and a considerable amount of money. This was followed by the letters of the chiefs of Iraqi tribes to Mu'awiya, expressing him their support.
All these incidents resulted in the significant physical weakening of Imam Hasan's (AS) army and losing their spirit, despite Imam Hasan's (AS) efforts to give them heart through his influential and alarming speeches. Yet the covert activities of Mu'awiya in Kufa, sending his forces undercover among people and spreading false accusations concerning Imam Hasan (AS), gradually broken Imam Hasan's (AS) army. Some even assassinated Imam Hasan (AS) and wounded him severely.
Finally, pressing hard under the conspiracies of Mu'awiya and the weakness of people in fighting against injustice, which had disturbed the military balance between the two armies, Imam Hasan (AS) was made to accept a peace treaty and leave the caliphate to Mu'awiya [8]. Thus, the period of Imam Hasan's (AS) caliphate lasted between six to eight months.
According to historical accounts, "Mu'awiya sent a blank contract with his seal at the bottom for Imam al-Hasan (a) to write anything that he wished and thus he wrote, "In this peace treaty, al-Hasan b. 'Ali (a) establishes peace with Mu'awiya b. Abi Sufyan and leaves the government of the Muslims to him with the following conditions:
1. He observes the Book of God, the conduct of the Prophet (s), and the conduct of the righteous caliphs.
2. He appoints no one as the Caliph after himself; and after him, the Caliph should be elected by a council of Muslims.
3. Lives, property, and children of people should be safe everywhere.
4. Mu'awiya should not implicitly or explicitly plot against al-Hasan b. 'Ali or threaten any of his companions." [9]
Under these conditions, Imam Hasan (AS) signed the peace treaty in 661 A.D. However, all of these conditions were later denied by Mu'awiya in his sermons and manners. "After the peace treaty, Imam (AS) gave a sermon and pointed to this issue that Mu'awiya challenged him over his rights and explained the reasons for his peace, which was to protect the lives of people and avoid bloodshed. After the treaty, Mu'awiya, too, gave a sermon at his first presence in Kufa. He broke his promises, saying that Imam (AS) had asked for peace and cursed Imam Ali (AS). Then, Imam Hasan (AS) explained about the peace treaty in a sermon and the proposal of Mu'awiya for it and answered to Mu'awiya's disrespect to his father." [10]
After this incident, Imam Hasan (AS) went back to Medina. While he was not a caliph anymore, he felt the responsibility to guide people in religion, science, and social and political issues. The signing of the peace treaty had made the situation very difficult for him. Some people criticized him, some of his old companions left his side, and severe political measures were taken against him.
Imam Hasan's (AS) patience in the face of hardship becomes evident by having a glance at his life, which was full of challenges. Losing Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) when he was only a child, losing his mother, lady Fatima (AS), bearing the difficulties at the time of his father's caliphate, following by his martyrdom most brutally, electing as a caliph by the people and then being abandoned by the same ones provoked by Mu'awiya, being forced to accept a peace treaty and giving up caliphate unfairly, was only some of these hardships. No doubt, without a strong personality resulted from a deep belief in Allah, Imam Hasan (AS) would not be able to bear these sufferings and challenges.
Moreover, he presented forbearance even when he was directly insulted and never responded with anger. In an instance, "a Syrian man saw Imam Hasan (AS) and started cursing him. When he finished his insults, the Imam (AS) smiled, greeted him, and said, "It looks like you are a stranger in this city … If you need anything, we will fulfill your needs." The man was deeply impressed by the Imam's (AS) noble reaction; he started crying and recited the following verse: "God knows best with whom to place His message" (Quran 6:124), indicating that the Imam (AS) deserved to be a descendant of the Prophet (PBUH&HP)" [11].
Imam Hasan's (AS) life was full of instances, which revealed his immense generosity and selflessness. It is narrated that he had given away all his properties and wealth as a charity twice in his lifetime [12]. According to an account, a man in need came to Imam Hasan (AS). Imam (AS) asked him to write what he needed and give him the note. When Imam (AS) read his letter, he gave him twice more than what he had asked. One of the people who were present there said, "What a bounteous letter he wrote, O' son of the Prophet (PBUH&HP)!" Imam (AS) replied, "The letter had more bounty and blessing for us than him since it had made us among the generous ones. Don't you know that "generosity" is to give something to someone without being asked for, and what is given away after being asked, is paltry in return to that person's honor. Perhaps the one who asked for something had spent a night full of stress and fear, not knowing if you reject him or make him happy with accepting to fulfill his request. Now he has come to you, his heart beating fearfully. If you, then, give him no more than what he had asked, you don't give away anything worthier than his honor, which he had broken for this request." [13]
Imam Hasan's (AS) generosity was not limited to human beings, but all of Allah's creatures. In one account, a man saw Imam Hasan (AS) eating, giving a morsel of his food to a dog, and eating a morsel himself. The man who was surprised by this scene went closer to Imam Hasan (AS) and said, "Would you permit me to hit this dog with a stone and take him away from your food?" Imam (AS) replied, "Leave it alone! Since I feel ashamed of Allah al-Mighty if an alive animal looks into my face while I'm eating and I won't give it part of my food." [14]
Imam Hasan (AS) found generosity and doing charity, not as a mere religious burden; instead, he gave away willingly and saw it as a chance bestowed to him by Allah to please Him.
The grandson of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP), following the footsteps of his grandfather, was highly observant of his manner toward the ones in need, being careful not to break their hearts or belittling them while helping them. It is reported in an account, "One day, he passed by a group of poor people who were eating pieces of bread. When they saw him, they invited him to eat with them. The Imam (AS) accepted their invitation and sat and ate with them and then invited all of them to his house and offered them food and clothes." [15]
Imam Hasan (AS) never felt superior to other people and treated everyone, regardless of their age or position, with the same respect and modesty.
All the above characteristics of Imam Hasan (AS) and many more is a reflection of his deep devotion and love toward Allah, the One and Only Creator. Imam Hasan (AS) was the perfect example of a true believer both in manner and words. He was famous for his sincere worship, long prayers, and his enthusiasm to go on a pilgrimage to Mecca on foot. He would say, "I would be embarrassed to meet my Lord without having walked toward His house." [16]
His abiding faith had made him a strong and exemplary personality from whom any human being with a free soul can learn the lesson of humanity and love.
According to some historical sources, After disregarding the conditions in the peace treaty, Mu'awiya conspired the assassination of Imam Hasan (AS) to secure the position of his son, Yazid, as his successor. To further his plan, he sent for Imam Hasan's (AS) wife and enticed her to poison her husband in return for money and marrying Yazid. Finally, she accepted his offer and fatally poisoned Imam Hasan (AS) [17]. He was martyred in the 15th of Ramadan of 50 (670 A.D.) and was buried in al-Baqi' cemetery in Medina.
Notes:
[i] The first Umayyad caliph who ruled in Damascus after the Peace Treaty of Imam Hasan (AS).
References:
- Ali ibn Abd-al-Malik al-Hindi, Kanz al-Ummal, Vol.16, p.262.
- Al-Tirmidhi, Sunan At-Tirmidhi, Vol.5, p.615.
- Qadi Nur Allah Shushtari, Ihqaq al-haqq, Vol.11, p.63.
- Muhammad b. 'Ali b. Shahrashub, Manaqib Al Abi Talib, Vol.3, p. 394.
- Muhammad Baqir al-Majlisi, Bihar al-Anwar, Vol.43, p.338.
- Al-Shaykh al-Mufid, Kitab al-Irshad, Translated by I.K.A Howard, Published by Tahrike Tarsile Qur'an. p.350.
- Al-Sharif al-Qarashi, Baqir, The life of Imam al-Hasan al-Mujtaba (a), translated by Jasim al-Rasheed, Qom, Ansariyan Publications. p.334-335.
- Muhammad ibn Jarir al-Tabari, History of the Prophets and Kings, Vol.5, p.324.
- Al-Baladhuri, Ahmad ibn Yahya. Ansab al-Ashraf, vol. 3, p. 41-42.
- Imam Hasan Mujtaba
- Baha' al-Din 'Ali b. 'Isa al-Irbili, Kashf al-ghumma fi ma'rifat al-a'imma, Vol.1, p.561.
- Ahmad b. Abi Ya'qub, Tarikh al-Ya'qubi, Vol.2, p.226.
- Ahmad b. Muhammad b. Khalid al-Barqi, Al-Mahasin, p.55.
- Muhammad Baqir al-Majlisi, Bihar al-Anwar, Vol.43, p.352.
- ibid, p.319.
- Muhammad b. 'Ali b. Shahrashub, Manaqib Al Abi Talib, Vol.4, p. 7.
- Abū al-Qāsim Maḥmūd ibn Umar al-Zamakhsharī, Rabi al-Abrar wa nusus al-Akhbar, Vol.5, p.155-156.