Backbiting is highly forbidden in Islam and is considered as a major sin. By speaking behind the back of others, people might deliberately spoil the dignity of each other, and in Islam, nothing is far more valuable than the honour of a human being. It is narrated from Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) that during the miraculous night journey (Mi’raj) [i] that he (PBUH & HP) had, he (PBUH & HP) passed a group of people in hell who were scratching their own faces with nail. He (PBUH & HP) asked who they were. It was said that, those were the ones who used to backbite and dishonour others [1]. This punishment, besides others, was due to the fact that backbiting destroys the face of others and misrepresents them, hence, the backbiters scratched their faces which caused them to look more monstrous and nasty.   Let’s see what Islam’s definition of backbiting, its conditions, types, consequences, etc is.

Meaning of Backbiting in Islam

According to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP), backbiting is to mention and scold someone behind his back which is unpleasant and unkind to him/her [2]. It can be about his/her physical appearance, body, origin, character, deeds, or possessions like clothes, home, children or spouse. 
Notice that there is a delicate difference between backbiting and slander. According to Imam Sadiq (AS), backbiting is to reveal something about your Muslim brother which Allah Almighty has concealed. But, revealing which is apparent such as being irascible or hasty is not considered as backbiting. But, slander is to attribute something to someone which is basically wrong [3]. 

The conditions to consider an act or a saying as backbiting

Not every act or saying about another person is backbiting. Backbiting is:

•    If someone talks about the apparent and obvious characteristics of another person, it won’t be backbiting anymore, unless he\she intends to mock and deride that person. Hence, revealing the hidden defects of someone else is considered as backbiting whatever the intention is, but, talking about the obvious defects is considered as backbiting if one aims to reproach;

•    When someone reveals the “defects” of someone else, but revealing the “strong points” of another person won’t be backbiting anymore;   

•    If the deficiency attributed to another person is unpleasant and blamed by everyone else;

•    If one aims to dishonour another person by revealing his\her defects;

•    And, if there is someone else who listens to or hears what is said about another person. It means that if one reviews someone’s defects by him\herself alone, it is not backbiting.

Backbiting is disapproved in Islam

Backbiting is so denounced in Islam that it is said: “Whoever dies while he had repented from backbiting, he\she will be the last who enters Heaven. And, whoever dies while have kept on backbiting, he\she will be the first who enters the Hell [4]! 

In another narration, backbiting is compared to leprosy disease. It is said that backbiting ruins one’s faith much faster than leprosy disease ruins his\her body [5]. In surat Hujurat it is said: “O you who have faith! ... do not spy on or backbite one another. Will any of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it. And be wary of Allah ...” (49:12).

Types of Backbiting

Backbiting is “mentioning” someone’s deficiency behind his\her back. Accordingly, the types of backbiting are:

•    By words: it is the most common type of backbiting. It means one “speaks” about another person’s defect;

•    By writing: if someone writes down the imperfection of someone else such that others can read it, too, the cartoons drawn to mock a personality or using someone’ pet phrase in order to make fun of him\her    ; 

•    By act: if one reveals other person’s defect to someone else by showing or imitating it;

•    By indirect words: like saying that “how lucky we are that we don’t have such  a stingy partner!”;

•    By gesture: like revealing one’s defect by a special movement of hand, head, eyes, etc. 

Now that we found out how much backbiting is disapproved in Islam and what it is consists of, we need to find out its consequences, the way to prevent ourselves or others from backbiting, etc. Follow us on the second part of this topic to find the answers.

[i] The Mi’raj refers to the materialistic journey of the prophet Muhammad (PBUH & HP) from Mecca to Jerusalem, and from there, to the skies and back home again. That was during this journey that he (PBUH & HP) saw heaven and hell. For more details see: https://www.islamquest.net/en/archive/fa6152

References:

1. Mirza Hussain Nouri, “Mustadrak al-Wasa’il”, vol. 9, p. 119.  
2. M. Naraqi, “Mi’raj al-Sa’sah”, p. 447.
3. Shaykh al-Kolayni, “al-Kafi”, vol. 2, No. 7.
4. Mulla M. Faydh Kashani, “Al-Mahajjat al-Baydha' ”, vol. 5, p.252.
5. Shaykh al-Kolayni, “al-Kafi”, vol. 2, No. 1.

We live in a diverse world with people of varying backgrounds and differences. People have different looks and colors, different cultures and traditions, thoughts and viewpoints, religions and beliefs, etc. However, they all live together on planet Earth where they need to have social connections, relationships and more importantly a sense of togetherness. In fact, the need for belonging to a society or community is the main reason why people seek friends.

However, finding a good friend and building a healthy and strong relationship is not always an easy task. Many factors influence the choice of friends with religion and beliefs being particularly important to people. It becomes even more significant when it comes to Islam, as we have a few verses in the Quran about friendship. These verses have raised the question of whether Muslims can be friends with non-Muslims.

In this text we will go through the verses of the Quran and some narrations to find the answer to the question mentioned above.

What does the Quran say about friendship?

The fact that the Quran emphasizes the issue of friendship in different verses and from different aspects shows the importance of friendship and how friends can influence each other’s lives and destinies. 

There is a verse in the Quran that talks about the regrets of people who end up in hell saying: 
“Woe to me! I wish I had not taken so and so as a friend! Certainly, he led me astray from the Reminder after it had come to me, and Satan is a deserter of man.’” (25: 28-29)

When the Quran talks about the huge shock that disbelievers go through in the hereafter it says:
 “Now we have no intercessors, nor do we have any sympathetic friend.” (26: 110- 101)   

Theses verses show that having a friend is a real need for human beings, even in the next life, and emphasize the fact that friends can either be misleading or genuine. Since the influence of friends is so important on human beings, Allah (SWT) advises us on the characteristics of good and bad friends and guides us on who to befriend and who to avoid. 

Who to befriend and who to avoid?

There are some verses in the Quran in which Allah (SWT) guides us not to take specific people as friends:

1-    Close friends should be of yourselves

“O you who have faith! Do not take your confidants from others than yourselves; they will spare nothing to ruin you. They are eager to see you in distress. Hatred has already shown itself from their mouths, and what their breasts hide [within] is yet worse. We have certainly made the signs clear for you, should you exercise your reason.” (3:118) 

Confidants are close friends with whom we share secrets. In the above verse Allah (SWT) advises us not to take our close friends from among those who are not faithful to us, whether they are Muslims or non-Muslims, since these types of people will try their best to endanger and harm us in any possible way. [1] 

However, the verse emphasizes close friends with whom we share secrets, and does not forbid normal friendship with people to whom we don’t share secrets and have routine conversations in which we can teach them and learn from them. 

2-    Being friends with just polytheists is not forbidden 

“Allah does not forbid you from dealing with kindness and justice with those [polytheists] who did not make war against you on account of religion and did not expel you from your homes. Indeed, Allah loves the just. Allah forbids you only in regard to those who made war against you on account of religion and expelled you from your homes and supported [the polytheists of Makkah] in your expulsion, that you make friends with them, and whoever makes friends with them—it is they who are the wrongdoers.” (60: 7- 8)

Therefore, living a peaceful life alongside those non-Muslims who respect you and your beliefs is not forbidden; rather, it is recommended to have communication with these type of moral and just non-Muslims so that you may convey the words of Allah (SWT) to them in words or by your actions. 
“If any of the polytheists seeks asylum from you, grant him asylum until he hears the Word of Allah. Then convey him to his place of safety. That is because they are a people who do not know.” (9:6)
But let’s study the verses of the Quran that seem to be in contradiction with what we just said, where Allah (SWT) commands us not to befriend a group of people.

3-    Do not befriend enemies of Allah  

“O you who have faith! Do not take My enemy and your enemy for friends, [secretly] offering them affection, if you have set out for jihad in My way and to seek My pleasure, for they have certainly denied whatever has come to you of the truth, expelling the Apostle and you, because you have faith in Allah, your Lord. You secretly nourish affection for them, while I know well whatever you hide and whatever you disclose, and whoever among you does that has certainly strayed from the right way.” (60: 1)

The phrase “my enemy and your enemy” in the above verse shows that the enemies of Allah (SWT) are, in fact, the enemies of believers, too. The logical reason for which Allah (SWT) forbids us from befriending His enemies is that they are not well-wishers for Muslims and try their best to ridicule, humiliate, and weaken the believers. What they wish for the believers is explained in different verses of the Quran: 

“Neither the faithless from among the People of the Book nor the idolaters like that any good be showered on you from your Lord” (2: 105), “They are eager to see you in distress” (3: 118), “The faithless are eager that you should be oblivious to your weapons and your baggage, so that they could assault you all at once” (4: 102), “Indeed they are devising a stratagem” (86: 15).

These verses explain the reasons why Allah (SWT) prohibits us from befriending His enemies and because they try their best to harm us, and the reason for that as explained in the Quran is: 
“Satan has prevailed upon them, so he has caused them to forget the remembrance of Allah. They are Satan’s confederates. Look! Indeed, it is Satan’s confederates who are the losers!” (58: 19)

These verses that advise Muslims to avoid befriending non-Muslims or idolaters are mostly about political relationships between countries where these friendships may endanger the interests of Muslim countries. And if a Muslim befriends non-Muslims or idolater who do not care about the interests of his/her country, they need to be cautious not to share secrets with them and keep their friendship in a level where they are not influenced by those friends. Rather they can affect them positively, because: 

“Allah will never provide the faithless any way [to prevail] over the faithful.” (4: 141)

References: 

1. Qara’ati, M. Tafseer-e Nour, vol. 1, p. 591